Day: October 10, 2004

ohhh…THAT blue dress girl

monica lewinsky was on the cover of a magazine the other day. she is a person i have a great deal of sympathy for.

bill clinton escaped pretty much unscathed and has made millions from his book deal, speaking engagements and probable return to the white house as the first first man.

monica hasn’t had such a happy and rich road.

i am not going to condone her behaviour. i do feel sorry for her. i think of all the mistakes i made in my twenties and how lucky i have been to move past those dumb judgements and fairy fantasy endings i created.

how awful would it be if the WORST mistake we ever made in our lives was known worldwide and would never be forgotten?

the Bible promises us that our sins are wiped away when we ask forgiveness. i have no doubt that God is capable of forgetting our sins. it’s people that can’t. particularly the person who committed the crime.

what are the chances that monica lewinsky could meet a nice boy, take her home and have his parents excited about their son’s new girlfriend? pretty close to nil. no wonder she had to start her own business, who would hire her?

so that is why i feel sorry for her.

More precious than silver

Love comes in many forms. It isn’t my dad’s birthday, and it certainly isn’t Father’s Day, but today I want to dedicate my blog to dear Blake. Blake is a pretty amazing guy, he recently shaved his hair off in support of Breast Cancer. He also recently shaved off 30 pounds in support of his desire to be as healthy as he can be.

Dad is frugal with money. No new wardrobe for dad despite his weight loss, no, he now looks like a rapper with crotch round the knee jeans and baggy shirts.

Dad is frugal with words. But I always knew he loved me. Even though he does giggle right before he tells me he loves me, I know he loves me.

Dad loves walking, and I don’t think just because it saves money on gas, taxi and bus fares. He loves walking and has a very distinctive walk.

Dad finds unusual ways to say “I LOVE YOU TESS AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME.”

When I was a little girl, we lived in Edmonton. I loved reading even then and two of my favourite books were “Mog the Forgetful Cat” and “How Now Brown Cow”. HOW was the coolest book, it was two stories in one. Neat concept, great book.

We moved to Yellowknife when I was 10. The school and public library did NOT contain either of those books. In 1984, when I was way too old for it, mum managed to procure Mog for me. What a great Christmas gift that was. But How Now Brown Cow was harder to come by. I occasionally referred to it, but as time passed, I mentioned it less. Thought we had all forgotten about it.

One day, dad called me. I was living in hong kong, Charles and I were dirt poor, and calls home (as i called it then) were once a month (twice the month that princess Diana died). And DAD called me. We quickly established that nothing was wrong, and then he said,

“Tessie, does this sound familiar?”
and he started to read.
“Susy got off the school bus…”
and I paused and then said, “no, not really…” (give me some credit, it had been 15 years since i read the book!!!)
and he kept reading. By the time he was halfway into the next sentence, I yelled
HOW NOW BROWN COW HOW NOW BROWN COW!!!!!
HOW DID YOU GET MY BOOK???

And I learned that for the past 15 years, if time allowed when my father was on a business trip, he would walk (surprise!!) to the nearest public library and head to the children’s section, in search of How. After 15 years he wasn’t holding out much luck, but he continued on his quest. I was worth it.

And one day the librarian found it for him. This is a book with three and two colour illustrations. This is not a glamorous book. It had not been signed out in a long time. The last time a child’s hands had touched this book, the librarian had been using stamp pads.

My dad asked if he could take out a membership, and also HNBC. He told them about his daughter who had been wanting this book for over a decade. He asked, “How much would the late charges be, if perhaps, this book was never returned?” They knew and he knew that the book would not be coming back if he managed to walk out the door with it. They were touched by the story (and probably by dad’s charming manner and sweet blue eyes that tend to get a wee bit liquid-y when he is talking about those he loves) and let him sign out the How. My Dad made a donation to the library to the amount the librarian approximated would be the late charges if the book were never returned, which coincidentally, or not, was close to the replacement value of the book. Dad came home to Yellowknife, picked up the phone and called ME ME ME.

Today, my children are too young to read them the story, but I pull How from the bookshelf often, to show friends, to see if they once read and loved the book with two stories inside. But as i tell them about my father and how he got the book for me, I realise the book is now even more special, because How, now tells three stories. And the greatest of these is love.

BREAD AND THE BAD BIT

Are sandwich letters a bad thing? You know sandwich letters, you’ve received one before, everyone has. They’re an impersonal form of rejection. Think back to that job you didn’t get an interview for, a break up, a scholarship you didn’t get. Did you receive any of this news via a letter? If so, that was a sandwich letter. Remember, three paragraphs and a signature.

The first paragraph thanks you for your interest, and states how impressive your qualities are. This makes you feel pretty good about yourself.

The second, which usually begins with however, unfortunately, regretfully, lets you know somebody was better. Let’s you know you are a loser.

The final paragraph thanks you again for your interest, possibly mentions that you will be kept on hold (your resume, or even worse…if it doesn’t work out with the person I am leaving you for, I will give you a call) and then signs off. Best regards. All best.

If this is not a personal rejection letter, I sometimes contemplate calling the person who sent the letter (usually an admin person who signs “FOR” their superior) and saying,

“Hi, its me. Tess”.

“Sorry? Do I know you?” they might reply. (Or if they are smarmy/polite/overambitious they might pretend to know me before admitting they don’t).

“Don’t you remember me?” I would say, hurt evident in my voice. “You sent me your best regards. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Completely a stupid thing to do, but it might make me feel better to waste part of their day.

Adding insult to injury is that some smug companies are getting to the point where the first and second paragraph are combined. “Although we were impressed with your….the committee is pursuing applicants whose…”. What? There’s no bit where I can feel good about myself? We’re now an open faced sandwich letter society? My ego wasn’t even worth a paragraph on a form letter??

What is the point of sandwich letters? To make the sender look caring? WE KNOW YOU DON’T CARE. Those rejection letters are form letters. A data entry clerk enters your name and voila! Your letdown is now personalized. In the case of breakups, is it because your now ex wants a clean break, no stalking and the return of their Eagles Greatest Hits cd returned as soon as possible. So they can feel they handled the situation with dignity.

Firstly, in the case of a breakup, a sandwich or any form of breakup letter is an insult. The only case a letter can be justified is distance, when a snail mail Dear John is way preferable to an email (for those of you who are keeping track). Unthinkable is that the rejection letter is sent by mail because like the companies, the now ex is sending the letters out to several “formers”.

My suggestion to anyone sending a rejection letter: it saves time and, I might add, the environment for you to just send a blank envelope. Everyone knows the thin envelope is a PFO.

Then again, and sorry environment, crumpling up the offensive letter and tossing it into the bin, lighting it on fire, etc, is a good way of getting rid of aggression.

Do I dislike sandwich letters? Yes. Do I understand that they can’t hire everyone? Absolutely, I watched The Apprentice. Would I prefer a phone call? Actually, no.

But I am a carb addict, so let’s keep the three paragraphs in the sandwich letter, ok?

ABOUT AUTHOR
WANTED FOR BLOGGING

a 34 year old mother of four.

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