cyberFRIENDS or codependents?
housekeeping items:
1) magnificent charles, with the assistance of intriguing sara linked me to tertia. tres cool. thank you!
2) there is no new president.
3) andreah – is there an email address to contact you at? i keep trying, but your link comes up a blank screen and i am told your blog cannot be displayed.
X O X O X O X O X O X O
here’s another aspect to yesterday’s blog.
when your cyber relationships begin to infringe on your “other” relationships, do you need to pull back?
i have on occasion, chosen not to go out with friends because i want and need to catch up with my on line friends. when i explained this to a friend, she was shocked.
online friends are not real friends.
does physical proximity mean the person is by default, a better friend?
just because the above mentioned person can hear and see you cry, does that mean they will offer wiser, better and sager advise, or even better, no advise but a listening shoulder?
online friends are like harvey the rabbit, you can make them be anything you want. just choose the topic (ie:infertility, weight loss support, online bridge club, cancer support) and you have support in that area.
is this a bad thing?
issues that affect me are thankfully issues that do not affect the majority of my physical friends. i don’t have a close friend, or even an acquaintance who has epilepsy. before we went public with our infertility issues, i only knew two friends with similar issues. getting support in that area is good, because chances are your “Group” can’t afford you much sympathy (just relax and it will happen!!!) and your like issued friends can also educate you, something i like friends to do all the time. whether by example or by sharing something they read in their local newspaper.
online “issue oriented” friends make you a drama addict
your website got the most hits when carys was closest to dying. everyone loves a drama.
or maybe the people praying wanted updates? the friends who had supported us from clinical conception to emergency c-section? yes, issues, particularly health oriented ones do have dramas, days of test results or procedures in particular. does living amongst these highs and lows make us drama addicts? i can’t say i am bored when i get on line, read a blog or a thread and see that no one is having a test, change in medication, blood level come back today. or dang it, that tertia is still pregnant.
it isn’t like a real friendship, where one missaid word or tone lingers and can hurt, irretreivably alter the friendship. you get to type, edit and then post, and even then you can edit. that’s not natural.
i named my firstborn daughter sela, which, among other things, means pause and reflect.
i wish more people did think before they speak. lived by bambi’s “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothing at all”. i try to think before i speak. online posting has helped me there, and i am grateful. i admit, my words sound better after edited, but does that mean i should stop doing it because it wasn’t the first sentence that jumped out of my mouth?
the reason you are so close to these women is because you haven’t met them, or spent any time with them
possibly. or maybe it will be like friendships you have with kids you went to first grade with. you’ve known them for so long, and have so much dirt on them, (ie: head lice, puking in the sink in grade three) and have so many shared experiences, you can forgive their political leanings, their clothes, their musical tastes, you can look past all that to the person they are. and not be afraid or disdainful. i think it is wonderful.
or maybe they can’t be classified as friends because i am so completely honest with them? how many of us have that luxury with our physicla friends, when conversations tend to include other people, opinions on how husbands acted, well, do you think he was drinking too much?
i would love your feedback on this one ladies. (and gentlemen).
or should i say, FRIENDS.
xo
