MUMMA M.I.A.!!!
ooh i am not happy with myself.
i missed an appointment with my counsellor. she had gone in to work especially for me, and i did not show up. it was my second appointment and i was really looking forward to it.
i had double booked myself with carys’ physiotherapist appointment. i was late getting to the physio because a friend stopped by who really needed to vent. i was also late for the physio. and i HATE BEING LATE! and am rarely late! annie (the physio) knows this, i have never been late before so she knew it was an extenuating circumstance so i didn’t feel so badly. plus, she saw that i had all three triplets with me, so she was really understanding of the extra time it had taken to get there that i had not accounted for. annie wanted to see all three and their stages instead of just carys, which is why i brought them to the appointment.
she compared, commented, complimented.
so i get home and realise i haven’t checked to see if frugal blake made it home safely, i call my mother and boom, my cell phone rings and it is my counsellor.
SHE HAD REARRANGED HER DAY ESPECIALLY FOR ME (which suggests i am in dire need of assistance) and I LET HER DOWN.
i also let me down.
very ticked off. i hate being seen as an unreliable feckless person. worse, it was only my second appointment and so she doesnt’ really have an idea of who i am, ie: all talk no action, if i am a person who is normally late (NO! NO! NO!) or if i am one of those people who makes appointments and then doesn’t show. i guess that is common when people meet a counsellor, not to follow through.
oh WHY haven’t i been in counselling for years!! a client she knows!
it’s like i don’t appreciate the effort she made for me. i do! i do! but i forgot! i had the appointment down as four pm, BUT IT WAS AT NOON. and if you look at the 12 noon entry on my daytimer, it does have written her name, BUT I BLANKED OUT THE TIME. I MUST STOP DOODLING!
clearly, i need a counsellor more than ever, because i like myself and the haphazard way i am conducting my life LESS than ever.
ANGRY!
ps – but pretty good news at the physio so the day wasn’t a total loss.
