silent heads???
one of the greatest casualties magnificent charles and i have had to adjust to this year is the massive loss of communication. i have a list of things i am aching to tell him, and i never seem to find the time. we used to sit in bed talking, or take the long way home (sebastian loves driving in the blue car) just to catch up and share what was happening in our lives.
these days we are rarely in bed at the same time. if he is sleeping, i am certainly not going to waken him. he is working REALLY hard and i have to say, not being appreciated much at work. we just had visitors, and although they were really low-maintenance, we were busy catching up with them and didn’t get a chance to really talk between ourselves, unless you include:
so, do you think they are having a good time?
i do, but they are so polite they probably wouldn’t tell us if they were bored.
you’re right.
i miss his input into my daily experiences.
i miss hearing his thoughts.
but even worse than the omitted conversations, are the half finished ones. things are not getting accomplished. we start a discussion regarding getting the towngas people in to install a new heater into the back lavatory, and someone or something interrupts us. or we change the topic to something more pressing. and then a couple of days/weeks later, the topic comes up again.
what ever happened to the back heater?
well, when we talked about it, you said that you would call
no, i think you said you said you would call
no, i said i would get the number for you
well did you?
no, but how difficult is it to call directory inquiries and get the number for yourself?
you get the picture.
i am also tres guilty of forgetting the things i need to tell him. i have started writing them down on my hands, but this stupid habit of washing my hands in an attempt not to pass germs from cat to child to child (ha ha ha, i feed them from one bowl, and that is covered in cat hair…who am i kidding??) causes the ink to fade. so i forget.
we went to church today. it was stressful, as jasper was apparently feeling very agnostic (or southern baptist, because he was very vehement!!!) and so i was jiggling him around for most of the sermon. the youth pastor, who is adorable, was keeping an eye on the baby i couldn’t be holding, and for the majority of the sermon, sela enchanted him by lifting her legs and putting her feet into her mouth. then she got a bit worn thin and started wimpering in a sela-like matter. the visual is: mouth straight, mouth down, mouth straight, mouth down, increasing in speed…breathing through nose becomes audible, eyebrows begin quirking, now puffing through open mouth during downturn, and wail from back of throat.
we threw jasper in the creche and he was much adored by the ladies there. sebastian burst into tears during the practice for the sunday school pageant, and cora, the GREAT coordinator, said to me, "all i need him to do is look cute. i don’t care if he knows the words. have him look cute." she’s right, the little kids can get away with murder. please, though, don’t let him be the kid that clutches and massages his crotch the entire time. however, i would MUCH rather own that kid than the one whose finger makes repeated voyages from nose to mouth.
both girls are throwing up tonight, not much sleep anticipated. tomorrow is a pretty big day too, mondays i go with sebastian to school, and carys has an UGH physio appointment.
magnificent has gone to bed, and i think i will join him there. a bonne nuit.
