with a little help from my friends
thank you ladies for your comments and support. made me feel better. i whispered to bald carys today as we did her new exercises that:
baby, people you don’t even know think you’re a dandy. and just when i was getting upset with women, our friends made me proud to be one.
and she smiled and drooled in what could only be agreement. thank you, cyber babes. really.
@@@@ this is an exploratory post..please be patient..these may not be final feelings!@@@
as i talk with other mums with special needs children, i find that it is becoming very clear to me WHAT saddens me about having a special needs child. i should probably check this out with my parents first, to see if they felt this way about epilepsy, but i don’t want to wake them up. they’ve had enough woken up in the middle of the night phone calls these past 12 months.
when you are told that your child has special needs, your heart plummets. certainly, some of it is oh, how will we take vacations, how will our family’s quality of life be affected, how will we make the appointments, the costs, but really, it comes down to this:
as a parent, you want your child to have an easy and great life. life is tough enough, and it becomes increasingly difficult to have the best life possible when society is not equipped for you, when you are a minority. kids are self conscious…don’t want to stand out…what about the child who DOES stand out??the stares and reactions make them feel self conscious, incomplete, embarrassed.
haven’t we seen how long it took ethnic and cultural minorities to be equalised?
i was lucky. my disabilities were only "sometimes" and for the most part, easy to smooth over. except after you’ve seen me have a seizure, apparently the image lasts with you for a while.
but i look at carys and the possible CP sentence looming over her. at all the triplets with their enhanced likelihood of underdeveloped brains and coordination, sebastian with his speaking troubles and hearing issues, etc. and i am saddened. because i wanted the best possible life for them, and these challenges aren’t the best way to start.
my toughest thing has had to be facing a group of people after having a seizure infront of them. not fun, but all part of my life. i just wanted an easier one for my babies.
you wonder how someone will not be able to look at your child and agree with you when you say,
isn’t she adorable?
i have pictures of carys that bring tears to my eyes. and i am not a crying type. her bunched up little mouth tilting upwards into a smile, her watery eyes shining with interest and excitement. can other people see that? will they see beyond a limp? a wheelchair? a ??????
I DONT CARE IF MY CHILDREN HAVE DISABILITIES, WALK IN A WAY THAT LOOKS "DIFFERENT", HAVE SLURRED OR UNCERTAIN SPEECH, OR ARE NOT OVERLY INTELLIGENT. BUT I AM SORRY THAT OTHERS OUT THERE DO.
sorry, this is disjointed, and unfinished but sela is BELLOWING. i will improve this soon.
