leaving on a jet plane
tomorrow we are off to phuket. from what i have seen and read, a phuket ready and yearning for tourists is waiting for us there.
i am not a prepared type of packer, i am a last minute gal. so in the 90 minutes since sebastian has been hustled off to bed (not including time taken to comfort and clean up carys, who vomitted all over her sheets, self and surrounding floor space. walking to her crib was like stepping in hot curdled custard) i have packed haphazardly for "wassin" and myself. i have books, i have sunglasses, and a camera. i’m ready.
i like to justify my last minute packing habits as i saved it for the last minute so i didn’t have to think about the trip the four (magnificent, my mum (freshly arrived from canada), sebastian and myself) of us are about to embark on. for the obvious reasons. guilt hasn’t settled in yet, but then again, since i am not thinking about the trip i have nothing to feel guilty about. maybe it will hit me when we land and the moist air rushes into the airplane and overwhelms the stale oxygen circulating around the seats and passengers.
i am sure the guilt will crash down on me, and i am sure i will have a good time despite the guilt. i deserve this. our marriage deserves this. i haven’t had sand in my ears and a wave crashing against my back for a long time. a meandering conversation with magnificent…just time.
magnificent has arranged it so i can post from his blackberry, so i will.
it;s going to be odd, feeling like i have forgotten something, am missing an appendage, while spending more time with the person who makes me most fulfilled in this world than i have in months.
…there’s so many ways i’ve let you down
i tell you darling, they don’t mean a thing…
bye bye babies, mummy loves you (or wuffs u as sebastian would say) so much, and she also loves daddy, her marriage, and herself as well.
ciao for niao
