embryo adoption…day two
the profiles began rolling in today….
the first one i read, i was CERTAIN they were the couple. until i read the second profile. and then i wanted them. but then the third profile arrived, and they were wonderful as well.
you see these pictures of lovely couples, and you read of the heartache they have encountered on their journey to parenthood. miscarriages, stillbirths, multiple failed IVF’s, corrective surgeries gone wrong.
how can we say NO to these people? i am looking at the telephone, wishing that i could call my re, do a quick cycle and get some more frozens. help everyone.
how unfair is it that couples have to politic themselves to us through a letter. choose us, please, here is why. it is so unfair…that their probably last opportunity to be parents comes through a letter.
just as fair as $10,000 worth of infertility medicine, ultrasounds, bloods, uterine lining checks, follicle retrieval, egg fertilization, embryo division, embryo or blastocyst transfer meets a temporary end when blood is drawn and analysed for the presence of HCG. it all comes down to a blood test.
and these letters. look at it objectively. would anyone pick charles and i to be adoptive parents? that the mum has epilepsy and the father travels a great deal and has been married before? how could i write a letter that could look past our "flaws" and convince a couple that we would be wonderful parents? i’d have a tough enough time using capital letters!
it is so difficult to choose the couple without knowing or knowing of them. what does a home study tell you? not a lot when you think of the numbers of families who have passed home studies who are later arrested for cruelty to children. genetic parents don’t need homestudies…should adoptive parents?
other issues: money, religion, ages, hobbies.
how important is appearance? when all you’re going on is photographs and the letter…you spend a lot of time looking at the photos. checking smiles. wondering if you’re imagining sorrow beneath their smiles, because you remember when you were recovering from a negative blood test, you felt your smiles never quite reached your eyes.
what if they are overweight? i’ve had my chunky monkey phases (rubenesque, shall we say), so if a couple has weight issues should i discount them? hypocrisy in the finest.
the vortex has begun. magnificent came up with the suggestion that we give the first eight "applicants" one embryo. that way we were helping everyone a little bit. not going to happen.
this is all about trust. we know that. we know God will help us make the right decision. our small group started praying for these parents about two years ago. we just have to trust.
