just call me blanche
the kindness of strangers has been a huge and recurring theme in my life.
in 2000, i was on a plane headed to chicago. the seat next to me was empty. after the plane was in the air, a girl came and sat next to me. she looked just like diana krall. we got to talking. and the words and sentences came easily. and the hours passed quickly. we talked infertility, lifestyles, mothers, careers, living overseas….and at the end of the flight we had addresses and we knew we were friends. we kept in touch, and a few months later, i decided to visit her in new york. do you know what she did? SHE MOVED INTO HER BOYFRIEND’S PLACE AND GAVE ME HER FLAT ON CENTRAL PARK WEST AND 67TH FOR 10 DAYS. i would go to her office and take her to lunch, but i had the days to prowl the city i grew to love by myself. can you imagine? she didn’t really know me! i was a stranger and she opened her heart and home to me.
in 2003, i was flying with sebastian into san fransisco from hk. we connected the flight (united) to vancouver. however, upon arriving in vancouver and passing through the APPALLINGLY LONG CUSTOMS LINE (oops, where did that come from on a day when i am discussing kindness?) and after watching everyone else gather their luggage i realise, ding dong double damn, our luggage has gone missing. so i collect my sad child, and head over to the missing luggage department, fill out terribly long forms and get terribly vague answers, and then hotfoot it over to the check in counter where we are meant to be catching a flight to edmonton.
i get to the west jet counter and the girl informs me that the flight has closed. i can’t believe it. she isn’t rude at all, and i am not screaming at her, but i am horrified. it wasn’t me, flight was on time, stupid luggage, poor sebastian…. and i start crying with the frustration of it all.
i am informed that we have to buy a new set of tickets. the girl is so sorry. i realise my sister is waiting for me in edmonton. where is a phone? i ask the girl. she points me towards a set of pay phones, and then tells me to hold on. she gets another check in person to cover her desk, and takes me with her to their staff room, where she pulls out a container of juice for my sweet sebastian, who slurps it up happily, even though it was apple and blackberry juice, and he is a purist who prefers apple. she pulls out her cellular phone and tells me to call pam. ON HER DIME! so i do.
and then she takes me back to the queue and tells me that the tickets are complimentary. incredible.
there have been smaller gestures, but equally as incredible. last summer when magnificent was gone for three weeks, a relatively new friend lucy, gave sebastian dinner and a bath at her place every day of those three weeks, so i could feed the babies, clean up their vomit and get them to sleep in relative peace. a HUGE gesture of love and support. i am still grateful for that one.
my friend shayna, whom i have never met face to face, sends benadryl and outfits to the babies. she is a busy mum, and makes time for me. when i am feeling low, she magically knows when to call and knowing that i am important to her, with all her degrees and medical knowledge, makes me feel great. shayna doesn’t waste time in girly stuff…she gets right down to the "you’re important to me."
if the only way to demonstrate your appreciation of other’s kindness is to "pay it forward", i can honestly say i haven’t done a lot in the late year, but i have done what i can where i can. there are some people i am committed to praying for each day, and they know who they are. we are on the on-call list at the hospital for couples who have a child in the nicu and are bewildered and overwhelmed. i will take a chance on a stranger.
even more important, i will take a second chance on someone who has previously hurt me. in a way, that’s even a bigger gamble, isn’t it.
