firstly, sorry for one week of silence….i couldn’t access my typepad account. like that’s a hassle i need.
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call me when you have free time.
i have a friend who does not particularly enjoy spending time with children. i don’t take offense to that, it’s not just my children she doesn’t enjoy spending time with, it’s everyone’s. before i had children i wasn’t overly eager to spend time with them either, i suppose.
it gets a little difficult, because i am always declining her invitations to events. or i will suggest we go out for a walk (which she enjoys), and i suggest we go early. but she doesn’t "do" early, says we have to go later, and i say i need to be back for the 11.45 bus. oh, so we aren’t doing it at all, she says. maybe in five years.
scheduling with people who don’t want to be around children is difficult for me because i do like being around children, and i have plenty of children i want and need to spend time with.
afternoons aren’t so good, because i am usually with the triumverate, or taking sebastian to an activity. i would be happy to invite her over to have a coffee as we strolled through the playground, yet the one time we tried that was a huge failure.
you’re the busiest person i know! she cries, when i decline yet another invitation.
and i suppose it must seem that way, but the thing is she doesn’t like being with me when i am around the children. and she doesn’t like my traditional get away time, from 8am-10am, after seb gets on the bus and the babies are having their 8.45-10am nap. that’s my window, but she doesn’t like it. fair enough, but i am trying.
last weekend charles was away, and i made plans to have dinner with steph, whose husband was in america. my friend called halfway through the week and said,
so i was thinking i would come over and see the kids on friday night.
this surprised me. see the kids? her? but unfortunately,
friday won’t be good. we are going to a party and won’t be getting home until 6.30pm or so. then it will be bathtime, and hopefully bed soon after.
so? i’ll come over later and we can go out.
oh, well that’s not good either.
you have plans?
i do.
well why did you bother giving me the song and dance about the party if you had plans for friday evening?
because you said you wanted to come and see them, not go out.
we have these conversations, and i think they are equally frustrating for each of us. i generally love spending time with her, but my windows of child-free opportunities are few, and there are a lot of people i want to be catching up with.
there is also the problem that i reserve nights for just mc and me. i also reserve movies. my friend and i love seeing movies, and she gets irked when i say, sorry, i reserved that one for magnificent. i probably would be.
and to be fair, the art gallery openings that she so enjoys are not my preferred events to attend anymore. i have been out of the scene for a while, and would know no-one, and would be sitting there like a little meatball. not my preferred idea of fun.
but it frustrates me, because this is a long and cherished friendship, and i feel i am letting her down. being consumed by the mummy-train, a hormone hostage.
i am disappointed, yet i recognise this is not just my problem.
i am going to call her right now and suggest a dinner for the next time mc is away.
any other ideas?
