it has begun
carys did not eat her lunch today.
indeed, she was hungry, but she refused to say "ta", "please" or "thank you" when offered her meal.
i know she is capable of saying all three. i have heard her use all three expressions.
but today she chose not to.
the battle of the wills has commenced.
i know i will win. in a few ways, i almost feel sorry for little lulu. i am more stubborn than she is. i will last longer than she does. but then i wonder…is this a battle worth fighting?
she was removed from the table after she started throwing a tantrum. jasper and cee cee were eating placidly away, and every time i approached carys and asked her to say "please" (or thank you), sela would automatically use the expression, even if her mouth was full at the time. carys has seen her sister be rewarded for using those same phrases she refuses, maybe she just needs a little more time than pavlov’s dog.
after a while, it became evident that carys was not going to use a pleasantry. i was left with two options. suck it up or give in. i chose to suck it up. she obviously wasn’t that hungry. i debated putting her straight to bed, but shayna suggested that since the others weren’t going to bed, not to send her in either, and also, that i not confuse the issue…that the RESULT of the CHOICE carys made by not saying thank you, was not receiving food.
in case you are thinking i am terrible, (and mum, even before you asked if i was sure carys wasn’t having a diabetic attack in her room from her low blood sugar, i knew i wouldn’t be in your good books…), know that i am not expecting manners from all siblings because sela is a tiny robot. not true. i have heard them say please and thank you, and i know they can. they are choosing to disobey my request. choices have ramifications.
carys is some stubborn little girl. and i am grateful, because stubborn kids need stubborn parents, and voila! i fit that description. how lucky is she? and i would rather her learn now, over something as trite as dinner, than years from now, over a potentially disasterous decision, that there are choices for our actions.
but is this a battle worth fighting? you have to choose your arguments, and i am not sure this is the one to take on. will it be a case of i just have to get her to say please or thank you or ta or whatever once, and then she would be a bruised, repentant always polite person? i am so glad that God has been listening to my prayers to be a better parent, because i cannot do this alone.
i am glad carys is stubborn. that unwillingness to stop fighting saved my much loved little girl’s life. she is an opponent worthy of my mettle. and if i do take her on, no doubt about it, i will win. i’m just not sure yet that i will.
