Day: March 25, 2006

why is it that we can forgive those who have hurt us, but we have a very difficult time forgiving people who hurt those we love?

i am currently fuming over the persons responsible for hurting two people i love very much. housebound with sela, while watching the wiggles today, i zoned out and entertained various YOUNG AND RESTLESS calibre fantasies of the showdowns i saw myself having with these people, and the apologies they would make to my loved ones. the accepted apology. and of course the attempt to rekindle the friendship, to which the wronged loved one would sorrowfully reply, "you hurt me once, shame on you. if i allow you to hurt me again, shame on me."

we disappoint each other every day. i disappoint my children, my friends, my spouse, on a regular basis. that’s one of the risks of emotional involvement and vulnerability. whether it is a cavalier invitation ignoring someone’s pain or having your heart broken; whether the disappointment passes in a matter of minutes or alters your perspective forever, disappointment is part of our daily lives.

and i don’t see that as a necessarily bad thing, because real disappointment comes when we are really heavily emotionally invested, and the rewards of emotional investment are so enriching, that they make the risk of disappointment entirely worth the gamble.

there is no reward like being loved, no rush, no contentment like it. it is worth every sacrifice and vulnerability and every effort you make to make the relationship last. whether this is a passionate love or a friendship, fight for it. recognise what is important and what is pride, and only end the friendship if it is over the former.

but be smart when you choose who to love. again, whether friend or lover. this is important. so many people simply use others to bolster their own self esteem. so many people let them, mistaking it for friendship.

i am learning, that God is the best friend i have. He never lets me down. He never lets magnificent down. He always listens, and always cares. of course, He has the benefit of being perfect, but we have the benefit of following His example. so we try.

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a 34 year old mother of four.

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