the root of all evil?
if not, certainly the root of much disagreement.
last night right before we turned out the lights, charles and i played a little game.
we pretended we had won $10 million dollars.
what would we do with it?
we drowsily threw out some options, things we would like to do, and very quickly realised we had blown the cash.
so i propped myself up, grabbed the back of an envelope and started writing.
okay, one million to the church. but…all to one church? that didn’t seem fair. so we had to debate who got how much money. was it fair to support canadian churches? or give it all over to churches that also provide medical care in third world countries. what about homes for unwed mothers? oh the debate began.
then relatives. we decided we wanted to pay for charles’ nieces and nephews education and get them cars so they could be independent. (you can see that never having had a driver’s license has really stayed with me). so that was a cool $500,000. then charles said that we should get his dad a new vehicle. i mentioned that he had just bought a car he was really happy with. and charles said, "well, maybe he wants another one!" okay, calm down.
he decided that he wanted to go on a kick butt cruise with his dad. a long one. no costs spared. we allotted $70,000 to that one.
and then we decided to buy a summer home somewhere nice, on the water. easily $1m US. somewhere that families could come and hang out year round, so it had to be near skiing as well. so we didn’t choose a location, but we did put the money towards it, as responsible adults do.
and we wanted to take charles’ family back to antigua, flying business class, and have another great reunion. if the girls needed to be working, we would pay them what they would have been making had they been at their jobs and probably a bit more.
oh, how about trust funds for our kids? this was a tough one. how much? can’t make them think they never had to work again…they needed jobs and focus. entitlement really bothers me. there is a difference between self confidence and that sense of entitlement.
and what about a house for us? we don’t own a house….let’s get a house? where? in hong kong? hard to say, would we be retiring?
then we finally got to my family. decided it was manipulation to offer my parents money to leave yellowknife.
want to do something really nice for gran, but what? someone to come in every second day and take her places, to the beach, to the shops, someone who wouldn’t be intrusive but letting my 91 year old gran have some freedom. to pay for pam’s flights when she heads out to see gran and take care of her in much the same way. gran already has a housecleaner, etc, and she doesn’t need long term care, but just someone who could take her out more. and we would love it if she came to hong kong. she loves her little jude.
so a trip with my family. but to where? i could just hear the arguments (loud) that my family would have in this debate. and then it would get like an episode of survivor, each plotting with another. ( i will vote against hawaii, if you join in with me, we can take our choices to the final two.)
i wasn’t looking forward to that debate, let me tell you. then i remembered we don’t have the money.
putting my family aside for a moment…we realised we would be getting lots of letters from universities, etc starting with…
dear charles
we have been meaning to write you this handwritten directly addressed letter since you left the school. we wanted to reinforce how much you contributed to the school and what a pleasure it was having you here. your professors all remember you as an astute, intelligent young man with great plans. how wonderful to know you have achieved many of them, and as well, have received so many.
one of the best aspects of receiving is giving back. and where better to share your good fortune than with the school that first sparked your intellect, that fed into your desire to know the world…
bla bla bla.
would we give them anything? okay, sure, but how much?
i wanted to give a huge chunk to the veteran’s organisations, and charles agreed. heart foundation, cancer society.
and suddenly, we had spent all our money. my family had a trip, but their descendants had no education funds (a sign they won’t go to university?). charles would still have to work because we had no savings.
so the fighting began. and first we were easy going and laughing about it, it’s not like we have the money… but then we were serious. why buy in hong kong? it is so expensive. sure the money we spent on renting would be good, but why not buy in canada? so what if nicaragua is the new hot spot with tax free deductions everywhere, do we want to be so far away from family?
and on and on it went until we decided that we didn’t want to play anymore so i crumpled up the envelope and tossed it into the bin. and was relieved we could do that. the money would be great, but the responsibility (and expectations) i could definitely do without.
Meanwhile, click here for cute video of Sela praying.
