death and distance
i got a call the other day from my girlfriend marie. carys’s middle name is marie, and she is named in honour of this friend as well as many of the other wonderful marie’s who have touched my life. since i have known her, and it has been a while now, she has been stalwart and loving, one of those divine women who you want beside you when the chips are down, and who probably is.
she left a message. her father was dying. soon.
by the time i called her, her father had passed away.
thankfully, both my parents are living. i have no idea what she is going through. but my first instinct is to get on a plane and be with her. but realistically, would that be a good idea? my being there would probably be more work for her. i don’t drive, she would need to collect me from the airport because she doesn’t let her friends take the airporter into town. i know the code to her home, (she sends me the code change every six months) but she is barely going to be there. i don’t drive, i don’t know many of the people who will be sympathising. besides making cups of tea and giving hand and feet massages, would i be of much help to her?
i don’t think so.
i will ask if she wants me there, and i will go if she says yes. but i suspect the airfare would be better off if i shelved it into the marie and tess holiday fund. and i can see the reason, but i feel really shallow doing so. i will contribute money to whatever charity the family suggests, but nothing replaces being a friend in need. and i feel like i have failed her.
this is a girl who came to visit me at midnight in an emergency room, and told me everything would be all right. when i smiled and said, "Except the food", she grinned, slipped out and went to an all night store for some fat free blueberry yogurt and cheesies for me to consume.
she is not afraid to call when she needs me, and this is so good, because i know i matter to her. that i make a difference to her world. that the blessing of me being so far away is that she has someone to call in the middle of the night when sleep eludes her.
but i do wish i were closer.
months ago i wrote about five year old jacob duckworth, an incredible little boy diagnosed with cancer who has evaded death thanks to a series of miracles. these last few weeks his earthly battle has yet again become very perilous. i know if i were his parents i could show the love and support, but i am amazed at the joy they have found. how they are a family, giving all four of their children love and attention and support.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob/
jacob’s mother is praying for a miracle to extend his earthly life, yet is in full recognition and acceptance that her son for the first time in two years may be very close to being healed. the joy and sorrow that must cause her.
