i thought i was off crack
as you all are aware, young sebastian went to kindy when he was the tender age of 2.5. i popped him on the bus and he sat down, was bucked in and driven away, with adam at his side. we took photos and video that day, and i shed a few tears before racing upstairs to shove bottles into the three vomit-prone mouths that waited there.
today the triplets and their friend tallinn went to their first ever (besides the creche at church) parent or helper unsupervised event: teacher and toddler at the ppa. six kids, one teacher, two hours of playschool in a familiar, fun environment. hooray! i have been so excited thinking about this, wondering if they would cry, wondering how i would deal with it if they did cry, that i forgot to wonder if i would feel sentimental.
my mum asked me on the phone today how i felt about it, in a gentle voice. i squealed back, "ecstatic! can’t wait. i just wish they were all doing something at the same time." it would be ideal if the triplets could get into kindergarten with sebastian, but that is unlikely to happen, so these afternoon classes are the next best thing…and did i mention that a parent doesn’t have to be with them?
in introducing the kids to the concept of "school" i told them they could each wear a backpack, like the big kids do. they loved this idea. "but mummies don’t go to school" i explained. "just big kids".
once at the ppa, tallinn, sela, jasper, and carys hung up their backpacks and took off their shoes (which would soon go on again) and then raced over to the table and began playing with the playdough that was spread out there. after taking them for wees, tara and i looked at each other and realised it was time to go. we explained we were going, and the kids said, "see you later, mummy" and we walked out. they did not watch us leave.
having each other there made it easier for the four of them. and they are used to the ppa and love it there. so yay. but still, not even one of them could squeeze out a tear? a sob, even? whatever.
as we left, i realised i felt not sad, but odd. it felt odd to leave them. they were so grown up.
i love this independence they’re displaying, but this is a big step away from me. which is what i wanted. but, wow.
crack goes my heart, as i realise they are ready to explore alone, and are excited to do so. i am proud, excited, and sad.
