she said, he said, she said, he said
remember the childhood game chinese whispers?
(probably it has been renamed in canada for political correctness reasons, but as kids we used to call it chinese whispers. you sat around in a circle, one person made up a sentence, whispered it into the next person’s ear, and then that person whispered it to the next person, and so on until the last person said the sentence aloud, and it was very different from the original sentence and there is a moral there somewhere.)
my kids seem to have their own version of that game. they have started their own lyrics, and versions of just about everything.
in the great movie (which will probably be remade with jessica simpson soon) THE ARISTOCATS the cats all sing a rousing little tune called, "everybody wants to be a cat". my children have taken it upon themselves, spearheaded by young sebastian, i should add, to re-write the song so it is,
"every party, every party, every party
wants a cake."
and as ding-dong double damned certain as i used to play and replay michael jackson’s thriller, the kids sing and re-sing that song. especially when hyper. they really sing it well at that time, particularly when one collapses into giggles and then, broken off from the song, interrupts and says, "no, wait for me, guys!" in an increasingly louder tone as the siblings choose not to.
*******
they also bastardise my words. i say, "jasper, if you do not wash your hands, you are choosing to disobey me and i will discipline you."
and he walks down the hall (jasper rarely runs unless he is coming to collect the m&m’s i give him when he does a poopers in the toilet) and says, "cawis! thela! mummy thays that thee ith going to thpank you in the feet if you don’t wash your hands."
did i?
and then carys will turn on sela, "sela! mummy going to give you time out if you don’t wash hands."
sebastian, who has been playing and yet eavesdropping very carefully, will at this point come and get me. "mummy! none of jay-jay, sela and carys have washed their hands. i think you need to discipline them all." then he will tug at my hands and lead me toward the playroom, "they’re in here," he’ll add helpfully.
"thank you sebastian" i will say in what i hope is a calm, cool, voice. i can handle it from here. and i move away from him and edge him out of the playroom."oh," he says, all disappointed."well make sure you tell me everything that happened." he’s very interested in the dispensation of justice. i think when he grows up he’s going to want to marry nancy grace.
they’re changing words in sentences, and it gets the original speaker angry, whether it be ME or one of their fellow siblings. it’s kind of fun to watch them turn on each other when one of the grammatical errors occurs.
"i didn’t say that, naughty! you’re naughty!"
"yes you did."
"i’m very cross!"
and then they try to bring in the third party to settle the debate, which works okay if it is sebastian, but if it is another two year old, completely futile. the situation has to be carefully managed from there, because of the rapid discentegration and quick turn to tears that seems to happen in our home.
who said things would get easier once they started talking?
