three cheers, they’re three
all this week i have been aware that today jasper, sela and carys would be turning three. all month i have sort have had 23 feb in the back of my mind. i can never forget that date, but unlike sebastian’s 30 november birthdate, i don’t like dwelling on 23 february 2004.
so needless to say, for the third year in a row, there is no party planned and there are no spectacularly wrapped gifts from mummy and daddy. i cried (no tears on the face but they appeared in my eyes) when a friend asked me if it was still a tough day, and have been close to tears all day long.
i am ripping the triplets off, not just commercially (or with cake, sebastian’s big concern) with this "let’s pretend it never happened" attitude. yes they were born, yes they did survive, yes i do know how incredibly lucky we are. yes i know all this but it doesn’t erase the terror, confusion and other helpless feeling associated with the worst day of my life.
i’ll write more tomorrow. but for now i will add that all day long jasper was telling people at the hospital (he had an appointment) that he was one, sela was informing friends she was five, and carys was quite happy just saying it was her birthday. and oh my, don’t even get me started on the multiple discussions that quickly downgraded themselves into arguments as to WHOSE birthday it actually was.
ps – yes they did have a cake. and we will have a family party next week. charles and i are planning to make a dora cake for that event. we will post pictures of the cake eating soon. thanks for respecting my feelings and actions, even if you don’t understand.
