i was talking to a girlfriend the other day who has an adopted daughter. their adoption is international. no need to say whether the girlfriend is based in hong kong or elsewhere.
she relayed a very recent converation/email that she had with her sister in law.
her sister in law requested that all jewellery that had been passed down to my friend be returned to my sister in law, because she wants the jewellery to stay in the family, and you guessed it, because the daughter is adopted, she doesn’t count as family.
!!!!
what does my friend’s daughter count as? a tourist?
this stunned my friend and i.
when the couple had brought their baby home, sister in law had arranged a huge shower for my friend and her husband. it was a very thoughtful thing. she made sure that beautiful pictures were taken, etc and expressed how happy she was that friend and brother had adopted. to the extent of friend’s knowledge, sil had never had fertility issues. but she was a very good friend to her brother and sister in law during their struggle.
so what does it mean to hear the news that your family doesn’t consider your child worthy of family items?
when charles and i discussed adoption with our families (we tried international adoption before we tried iui and ivf) all we got was support. fantastic, excellent, that’s great, will being in hong kong expedite the process ??? all sorts of loving, helpful questions. i suspect both sides of the family would be thrilled if we did adopt internationally, all my sisters (that includes in laws) are far superior with children than i am.
my friend feels stunned and furious, her husband feels furious.
do people really feel this way or is this just typical will avarice?
what can you say? what do you say?
