the judas mummy
i was searching clip art for a client yesterday night at 5.15 when i heard a bang, a pause and that scream that causes every mother’s pupils to dilate.
the "this is serious" scream.
sebastian had been spinning around in the playroom while jasper played the guitar. sebastian slipped, and fell against the tiny table i had moved into the playroom. the kids had pulled the safety corners off. sebastian had cut himself.
he galloped towards me and i saw blood and asked lita to quickly get me ice and a towel. i moved sebastian to the couch and the triplets sat with us. lita came with the ice, and carys and jasper pressed it to sebastian’s forehead, while sela went to show lita how the accident happened.
and then my two mongrel test tube babies had to say, "thebbie ith bleeding"
"sebbie is bleeding a lot" added the second.
THANKS KIDS. sebastian started crying anew, and pulled out his very red hand to look at. he wiped it on my YES! white shirt.
off to the hospital we went. given our dramatic appearance, we were triaged very quickly, before we had registered actually, but everything about my dear little man was normal, and he gave an impressively coherent account of how the accident occured, including arm movements. unfortunately, since his absent mother was not in the room when the event occurred, i couldn’t say for sure if he had blacked out. (WAH). so he would have to be seen by a doctor. and that, they estimated, would be a minumum three hour wait.
i called lita and asked her to bring reinforcements. she did.
i bought sebastian a sausage roll and an apple juice. he wasn’t hungry. we walked around the hospital for an hour, knowing we had lots of time to kill. we went back to starbucks. i had a cup of tea.
and finally, at 7.45 we went back to the hospital, and we read three franklin books and a chapter of THE MAGICIANS NEPHEW. (we finished the lion, the witch and the wardrobe last week). but it was too noisy to read a new unfamiliar book, franklin was definitely best.
by 8.45pm sebastian was ready to go home and so was i. time to pull out a secret weapon….THE PORTABLE DVD PLAYER!!! i grabbed it and put in STAR WARS. well, were we suddenly the most popular people in the world. the infirm and injured all suddenly decided they wanted to watch our 8 inch screen version, and reminisce in loud voices about luke and obi wan. whenever sebastian tried to lean forward to hear better, someone would pull him back, as he was now blocking his view. i put my arm around my boy, shot dirty looks to those i felt needed them (be your own judge as to how many ), and gave him a lolly and managed to say no, when two kids behind face masks asked if sebastian would share it with them.
imagine the disappointment when they called our names at 9.50pm. one of the lolly loving kids asked if i could leave the dvd player with him, and if i hadn’t have known that we would be kept waiting at the next station for at least 20 minutes, i would have done. but it is a good thing i held on to our property, because it was a bit of a wait.
and now the tough bit.
the dr determined seb would need sutures. seb laid down on the bed. i held his hands and asked if he wanted to hear a story about little baby sebastian (one of his favourites). he nodded.
sebastian and i have done sutures before, remember last november? when he fell while running around a fountain? he was so cool.
but today, he saw the (MASSIVE) needle they were using to administer the local, and that freaked him right out, and things went, well, downhill from there. i started off holding his hands, but as they started to administer the local, he began writhing and screaming and moving his head, so i had to hold his head while lying on his torso. and without waiting, the dr picked up the needle.
and then he saw the needle, and he refused to shut his eyes. i am not sure why. but he saw the needle sewing his skin together, and he certainly felt it.
and then the screaming started. i don’t really remember the words, but i remember the tone. please mummy please stop please.
and after two stitches the doctor did stop and tell him they were all done. and he was crying and i said "sebastian, have i ever lied to you>" and he said no and i said, " well honey, she is done. no more needle." and then the doctor said, " i need to do one more" and the begging started again.
i felt like judas.
then i had the choice, either let seb stay overnight for observation or to take him home and wake him up every two hours and see that he was okay. you can guess what i chose.
that was one of the worst feelings i can recall ever having. i have known the sickness in my gut from having betrayed loved ones and friends, my own physical pain, but this, was different, even from the triplets when they were in pain, even carys when she was so sick and in physical pain. i was judas. it was awful.
