hom’s
last week two sets of sextuplets were born in the united states. one set, belonging to mr & mrs masche, was born at 30 weeks, and all six children are doing very well. their mother suffered heart failure post delivery, but has rallied. and america is enraptured. cnn did a piece that aired here in hong kong. i saw them and was amazed. such sweet looking babies and SIX OF them, BIG! the mum did so well keeping them in for so long. i should ask her for tips.
little media coverage was given to the second set of sextuplets, the morrisons. these children were born at 22 weeks. three of those children have died.
i have debated selective reduction, ivf, responsible dr’s, healthcare responsibility, general population mindset and sextuplets this week with many people. the first thing i have told my friends is: THESE BABIES WEREN’T IVF, they were iui. THANK YOU.
one of my non infertile friends in canada (yes, i have them) said that there is a reality show which features sextuplets and their parents. the show doesn’t begin with a warning, like a packet of cigarettes of what the health risks and potential dangers of higher order multiples really are. that these children are in the few percent that do well. that when you have a house built for you, a loving and strong community donating holidays, vehicles, nappies, etc your financial strains aren’t as real as others in that situation might be. it is a reality show that gives unrealistic perceptions as to what sextuplets are like. the parents are good parents, and they have indeed been blessed… that is not the issue..their sextuplets situation is not typical.
sadly, the morrisons seems to be.
"you wouldn’t change anything, would you?" people ask me.
how can i answer that? my children lived. so naturally, my answer is of course not. am i a better person because of the nicu experience? yes. have i helped others? probably.
BUT, that’s not the issue. if one of my children had died, would i have wanted it to be prior to their delivery or afterwards? would i have wished that i had had fewer embryos transferred and done a FET later on?
this isn’t a crisis of faith, i am not questioning my relationship with God, but i am questioning ME.
if things were different, i don’t know how i would answer. i am just grateful today, as i think of the morrisons, that magnificent and i aren’t holding their gnawing grief.
