here’s what i know
among other things, here is what i know:
1) sebastian is a very creative person
2) sebastian has a personality very much like his father’s
3) sebastian is well liked among his peers
4) sebastian is joky amongst his classmates who joke back
i know these four things. i just listed them, didn’t i? and i also know that friendships also start and end, rarely lasting a full term not to mention a year, during these first primary years.
yet, even with this virtually encyclopaediatic knowledge, i got hurt today. i emerged from the pta office and saw that sebastian’s class was having recess. i scanned the faces and forms, and eventually located my little boy, drawing alone.
i looked around for rufus. couldn’t see him. walked back into the pta office and went back to boxing books.
nine minutes later, i was outside again, as sebastian’s class was lining up to go upstairs. my little blonde boy launched himself at me.
mummy! he said.
hello kitten. we smiled at each other.
that’s a gorgeous picture, i observed.
thank you. i just made it.
did you play with anyone?
no. i played by myself.
by now, i had seen rufus holding hands with julian. watched them line up together. rufus smiled and waved at me and i smiled and waved back. he is a very nice boy.
sebastian didn’t mind being alone. sometimes he does, and comes home saying that no one wanted to play with him and no one wanted to be his friend. today, he didn’t mind.
today, my heart cracked a bit.
i know it is okay, because sebastian was okay.
but my heart. he looked so alone.
there are times you are proud of your child for standing alone, for taking a stand, etc…but today was not one of them for me. i know this also.
