jean-etically gifted
no wonder women have body issues.
i went shopping the other day. sometimes this can cheer me up, some days it doesn’t.
i have to say, this day it really cheered me up. my friend sheri and i were in a hole in the hall shop in "the lanes" in central, where a biro scrawled sign intructs patrons no trying on shirts in the cubicles. i took this to mean that we could try on tops outside the cubicles. grammatically speaking, correct?
so i had a strappy shirt on and i kept that on as i put on this new shirt. great price. benetton. i was doing up the buttons when i heard a shriek from the back of the shop. i quickly kjept buttoning. the shriek got closer to me and there was a rude tap on my shoulder. and the shriek was forming words. i am not bilingual, but i would bet the shriek was saying DONT TRY ON.
sheri sidled over to me and said, "was that comment, ‘gee, that shirt looks great on you’ or "get that off RIGHT NOW?" and we burst out laughing. i bought the shirt.
i was going to get pants, but i ran out of time. but i am rather confused. at home, in my closet right now, i have pulled out my summer jeans. i have calvin klein jeans, size 6 and banana republic size 12. both fit. the 12’s are a bit loose, but they’re not hanging like i’m "p-tessie" or anything like that, with gold chains to match. and the size 6’s aren’t repulsively tight, with camel toe. so help me out! what does that mean?
according to glamour magazine, it means i am fat, because anything more than size two is too much.
so there we go.
for those keeping track, last night mr mahjong was rustling among the kids’ sweeties. i didn’t have the heart to say no. besides pooing in them, what’s he going to do? little cutiepatootie.
