Day: June 5, 2008

three things

update:

jasper's appointment – overall went well. he has to continue with the high dose chamber steroids, but the doctors could really hear an improvement in his lungs. so thank you Father GOD! i am really pleased about that. the bad news is, when jasper lifted up his shirt so they could check his lungs and breathing, the doctor lowered the stethoscope, looked at jasper's stomach and said, "does the stomach normally look like this?"

and darn it, whenever i get scared, i get defensive. i do i do i do. it is a bad thing but it is a me thing. it is also the doctor's fault for not approaching it in a better manner. and i mean really, what did they mean by that vague question?

possible defensive responses…you choose which one i went with.

"you mean with the belly button?"

"you mean pink? yes."

"round? like he just ate two packets of crisps and a banana and drank an ice tea because we were waiting for 45 minutes before we got in to see you?"

well, no need to go into detail which one i said, but i am sure you can figure it out. again, i was defensive. but why the sudden interest in how my child's belly is shaped? he is not with child, he is a child.

i have been googling to try and figure this one out, and i have not been successful. if jasper was a dog i would think the vet was suggesting he had worms.

anyway, it really was a good appointment, can't you tell? it was. have to continue with steroids. got some cream for the exema. stay away from heavily cross pollinated areas. the doctor was very impressed that i keep a nebuliser in canada.  so i gained some points back there.

confession: have you ever been overly emotional with someone that you don't know very well? today i was. background: last night i went to a mum's evening with the mums from sebastian's class. and i have to say, they are fantastic. a great group of mums, no one slags each other off, no division based on class, race, wealth. great ladies.  i did have to mention the word epilepsy seven or eight times as every time we moved places people would cry loudly BUT YOU"RE NOT DRINKING!

i am digressing more than they were drinking. this one really lovely mum said something really nice about sebastian. you know that sebastian is "different" from mainstream kids. there are "different okay" and there are "different not so okay" and sebastian is just "different, very okay". very creative. he has a high sense of justice,  fairness is so important to him. and he daydreams. but rarely, so very rarely do i get a mum who volunteers in the classroom who walks up and says, "your son is a pleasure". most times i get, "your son looks just like your husband".

 i understand, sebastian is different, but that is not wrong. but last night, a mum complimented me on sebastian, called him sparky. said a few more things that she really liked about him, and i could tell that she meant it. it brought tears to my eyes, as really, i had never heard anyone say these things about my child before. not someone who wasn't a friend of mine already. another mum, who was sitting with us, actually started to disagree. i don't blame her or didn't get upset. but this other mum kept talking him up.  she sees what i see! sometimes you think you are seeing illusions.

today i called her to say thank you, and i started to tear up. and yes, cry, as i was thanking her.  i think she was a bit embarrassed, and i know i was.

lastly, also about sebastian. a friend of mine, nicole, who is in our book club and also lives in our building, is the ea in the classroom next to sebastian.s she sent me this message about sebastian standing up for his faith and what he believes is right.