resurfacing
thank you for the feedback on possible books for little seb. really appreciated. it's like a brand new world finding new authors and series…thrilling for both the young man and myself.
yesterday was a frightening day. janne, victor and 3 yr old amalia accompanied my crew to the boat club. it was deserted, we were the only ones in the pool. janne and i started chatting and the boys were of course playing and having fun. i had forgotten armbands and the triplets were pretty much confined to the small pool. janne and i were confined to our chairs. there was much to discuss! the gobi desert marathon, victoria's secret, how in denmark fruit of the loom underwear is considered upmarket, preventing that mantle of "entitlement" some children seem to wear, good nearby runs…very interesting topics, you understand!
the lifeguard came to tell me at 11.30 that he was taking his lunch. i said no problem.
lunch started to sound like pretty good idea to the mummies and our two elder children. i took the orders…how easy – six chicken nuggets and chips, coming up! and the chicken tikka salad. and i walked away to place our order, after asking janne to keep an eye on the kids.
turns out she did more than that. i returned from placing the order, and found sela, blue lipped and sombre, shivering and sitting on my recently vacated deck chair, wrapped in a towel. cuddling her was janne, who, in the 90 seconds i had been absent, was suddenly wet. water streaming from her pigtails. kissing the side of sela's face. sela, who was quiet and a bit dazed.
sela, who almost drowned.
janne apparently saw sela thrashing, going under, and called to her, and when sela didn't respond, but kept going under for longer periods, jumped in and pulled her to the side. saved her.
i didn't make a big deal, i didn't lecture. i didn't tell her how glad i was that she was safe that she had nearly died, that i loved her…i just…played it down. i don't think i managed it well at all. i can't even remember it happening. i just remember thinking, "the shock is over, i have to make it as easy as i can for my child." so i asked her if she was alright, put my hand on janne's leg to say thank you and tell her i love her and cannot express how grateful i am but will try later, and sela falteringly then told me what happened, a little bit, and then went inside to take a shower and get changed. later on i talked to her about not going into the deep end unless she was wearing armbands.
i didn't handle it well. i don't remember it, but i do remember that i didn't do well. or is there a right way to handle it?
so tired of drama. which is why jasper, with his 102 temperature, is not at the doctors, instead he is plastered on to me. he will be better tomorrow. i have faith in this self diagnosis.
faith. it gives me courage to keep going, whether that be running, cleaning, reading, working, parenting, or letting them swim themselves.
