what’s in a dream?
as of this summer, i have a recurring dream.
charles and i are getting divorced.
he is the one instigating the divorce, and i am quite devastated wondering why, what to tell the children, etc.
the first time i had the dream i thought it was because we had been apart for three weeks – which as we know is far too long!
but then, i returned to hong kong and a couple of nights later, there i was back in dreamville, learning that while charles didn't YET have a girlfriend, there was the possibility.and he wanted a divorce. in last night's instalment, i forced charles to tell my brother and his family that he was divorcing me. he did and walked out of the room which was a bit like a warehouse.
what shakes me up in these dreams is;
a) how definite charles is that he doesn't want to work on our marriage
b) how devastated i am
prior to the onset of these dreams, i never spent much time thinking about MC and i divorcing. it just didn't enter into my realm.
and now it's here. not that charles has ever indicated the wants a divorce during my waking hours – but the only thing more daunting than life as a single parent is the concept to me of a life without charles. even if we didn't summer together, even if i don't see a lot of him as he settles into the new job, he is still my mc, and the person i am most concerned for, the person i will defend first, the person i want to tell my good news to, and talk with just as i drop off to sleep.
why would i dream this? i don't know and have'nt wasted any time googling, analysing or asking. i'm just grateful that it is all a dream and that i have my life.
