the other day at park n shop (or park n ripoff as i heard it called) the cashier wagged her finger at charles and informed him, "your wife is very good tai tai!"

charles' head spun run with a speed that would do an exorcist ridden person credit to see how i took this news.

quite calmly, actually, because i was waiting for The Correction. surely, this kind woman who sees me in here twice a week slugging out bottles of water and hauling my own groceries and standing in the rain or with gary and kids rotating around me (again, think exorcist like trajectory) could not be confusing me for a tai tai?

1.  A term used
in Chinese circles for  supreme wife (implying situation where a man
is  wealthy enough to have several "wives')  but no longer
strictly interpreted.  Term now applies to citizens of the world with
an Asian viewpoint  who have bounds of time and money.   A
Tai Tai is a well groomed privileged lady of means.   2.   Supreme
of the Supreme is its literal translation.  The term  implies
respect. 

To qualify as a Tai Tai, one
has to have lots of leisure time, lots of money to spend and lots of
gossip to exchange.  A Tai Tai would win if Shopping were an Olympic
event

There are so many things that don't ring true. However, I am the supreme wife. Although my daughters have announced that they are going to marry daddy when they grow up, I have informed them that will not happen because Mummy isn't good at sharing. Anyone who has tried to share a bag of Worcester flavoured crisps with me knows this to be true.

Back to the falsehoods.
Bounds of time – SERIOUSLY. Bounds of time? I am a girl who jogs to Bible study meetings and has to sweat at friends houses while standing on towels because otherwise i wouldn't get a workout in that day. I have very little time, but i do relish the time i have. I don't have a car, and i use public transport, which takes again, more time. Four children. Not a lot of time.

Bounds of Money – Ha! ha ha ha ha ha!!! This is a good one. Did you know we are packing up our flat and moving ourselves except for the big items (bed, bureaus) to save money? That we had the same second hand ricemaker for 13 years? That we have four children to educate? That in Asia companies don't offer pensions??? So not appropriate to be a tai tai.

Well groomed – this is true. Not everyone can have suzy sheir wife beaters in just about every colour offered because they are 3/$10 the day you went shopping and cant say no to a good sale. Unlike most of Hong Kong (male and females) I don't collect handbags, I have a few tried and true faves and I stick with them.

Respect – Can you please talk to my children and see if I am respected? When I utter a command how many times must I repeat that command before they actually follow through on that command? Maybe this tai tai should get a platium diamond encrusted minute timer attached to her prada (okay, banana republic) jacket, because that's the only status symbol that i have that seems to lead to respect.

That and bwownies as bait.

Gossip — I GOT. and do you know why i have it? because i KEEP IT. nuff said.

this tai tai thing really royally gorgonzola cheesed me off. before we had gone into pns charles and i had been rummaging around the car park looking for boxes we could pack books in. hot sweaty and occasionally sticky work. i didn't mind, but darling, hardly glam.

tai tai! why? why?

you've all seen me. what about the pony tail says tai tai???