the other week i saw MAMMA MIA with magnificent charles. and i admit, at one point there were tears rolling down my face. and no, it wasn't during a pierce brosnan solo, rather when meryl streep sang of her daughter's growing up.
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
of course i thought of my two little girls. daughters. what a complex, rich rewarding relationship.
daughters.
they boost you every day. your clothes choices are impeccable, they love your shoes, dresses and eyemakep. there is no debate if the MAC twig suits you better than cosmo…you wear it, they want it. if you wear "spray" in your hair, they want to also. they affirm your choices.
daughters have such an eagerness to learn. sela demands to read. i want the world filled with people like her (although maybe not as pushy). carys wants to watch the food cooking.
daughters are so generous with their world, at least at this stage of the game. all i really know is that each day sebastian and jasper eat snack. with carys and sela, i know who was there, and who wasn't, i know who the day's teachers were, i know who the special helpers were, how they felt about that, if there was any silliness. i see the world unfolding, i see them grasping concepts that one year ago they did not understand.
daughters make us question what we're doing as women. i am more concerned about my stay at home status now that i have daughters. i am worried i am setting a bad example. i had all that expensive education, threw it away, no ambition, just a breeder….is that how they will see me? what about their own ambition?
daughters make it clear that one day they want to be you. how amazing that they think of me as something to aspire to, how ironic that i want more for them.
girls draw princesses with hair to the ground, fancy dresses for every occasion and fantasy parties. sparkles, colours, glitz (although sela's fave colour is beige)…it attracts them, like raccoons.
my girls are very demonstrative, and very different to each other. i feel i'm not making a good case as to why girls are divine (and i know mum wants me to!) but they are. the chatter, the desire, the mothering they have for younger children, the intellect brimming out of them. girls are an absolute honour to parent. and a delight. and a challenge. they have set personalities, but so many nuances. autumn leaves in a wind. and girls i find, grow up a bit faster. which is so bittersweet.
Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
Slipping through my fingers all the time.
Reader interactions
8 Replies to “girls”
I agree daughters and wives are wonderful but why can’t they let shopping trips end after 10 minutes?,15 minutes at the max????
Love to all….Dad
Before you react to my first message remember the lyrics ” I let precious time go by.’
Love to all….Dad
PS…even though I am a slow typists it took me less than 5 minutes to compose 2 replies.
Enjoy
By the time they are 13 the girls stop talking – to you – but appear to be texting/talking on the cell phone most of the rest of the time. They buy their own clothes. You may or may not like them – it doesn’t really matter. One is left to only hope that one’s style has left an unconscious imprint on their teenage brains enough to keep the right amount of skin covered.
The boys have stopped talking altogether and replace words with “ungh” (translate “no”) or “humph” (by default “yes”). They won’t tuck in their shirts much less wear a tie. However, it must be noted, 90% of the boys (lower your voice an octave when you say that) Miss. B’s grade 8 graduating class last spring wore jackets and ties making them unrecognizable to most their own parents and reminiscient of those 5 and 6 year old smoochers.
And which of us would miss a single nanosecond? Your friend has so much to look forward to.
Please give the princesses and young smoochers all a big hug and kiss from Auntie Carolyn.
That is EXACTLY why I was so glad when Keighley was born…despite that some day we may knock heads and fight, and scream…I wanted all of it…and then we had three boys to balence us out!!! XO LYNS
Sigh. My heart melts when I think of those two little girls of yours. (You may notice a distinct similarity between this note and the one written about your boys 🙂 …. what more can be said by a grandmother?)
Love, M
xox
So true, I love the posts you have done on the kids,,,, xo
hi, tess! i’m still here in bangkok, catching up on your blog from time to time…i love your stories!
this quote moved me to comment:
“i am worried i am setting a bad example. i had all that expensive education, threw it away, no ambition, just a breeder….is that how they will see me? what about their own ambition?”
perish those thoughts! by making this choice, you’re telling them they are the most important people in the world to you, and you’re willing to let the worldly kudos take a backseat while they’re quite young and need you to help them meet the world. throwing the expensive education away? — your knowledge and life experience inform how you rear your treasures. no ambition? — you’re a writer and you’re still putting your talent to use on your blog and column and probably more. your gift for writing won’t fade or become obsolete during this season as a full-time mum. your daughters (and sons, of course) will be so very proud of you someday!
as the happy mum of three boys, i teared up at ‘mamma mia’ also, during the same song! it was so bittersweet for me, knowing i’ll never have a daughter relationship…my testosterone-filled house is bursting with love, but sons are definitely not cosy and confiding like daughters are more likely to be. sometimes i feel more like a lion tamer than a mum! 🙂
Boys will usually end up with wives and lives of their own, but the girls will keep coming back forever (after that bout of teen age years when they will not want to talk to you)