it is the night before mother’s day and all is well in our world.

mother’s day celebrations have started early. thursday, jasper and sela presented to me chocolate chip cookies they had made for me. friday afternoon, after i returned from tromping around wanchai markets with dresses, shoes, socks and a few other items for the household, carys presented me with a small cupcake that had "carys" written on it, and then a much larger, much more ornately decorated one that said "mummy".

there was also a card, that featured a photo of carys stirring what i presume to be cupcake batter, and the words, "i love you mummy because "you buy me beautiful dresses". and amazingly, just that day i had bought a dress for my little blue eyed girl.

last night charles and i went out for dinner with dale and stephanie, then later the boys went out and stephanie and i went for foot massages. oh, it was dreamy. the fellow was very abusive with my feet, but he did a great job.

there were a few years where mother’s day was extremely painful for me. years where mothers stood up in church and i stayed seated, red in the face and wishing it was me, rising, smoothing skirts, holding a child, or hand on swelling stomach.

tomorrow is going to be a very painful time for someone. their pain may be pubic, or private.  please, take a moment to send an email, to call, to take someone aside and let them know you are thinking of them. that you know this day is an especially difficult one. you’re smart enough not to mention "relax" "just" "if you had more faith" and other such platitudes. you don’t have to be a close friend to reach out to them. if you fear of embarassment, then send an email. infertility is so isolating, it is such a relief when someone reaches out to you. whether it is to say, "i don’t understand, but i am so sorry." or "i am thinking of you today" . 

on a day meant for mothers, i hope you have the opportunity to reach out to a woman who is yearning to be a mother, but is not yet.