i just love it when people discipline my kids for me.

usually it is lita and de who end up doing it. sometimes, on the playground, a mum will step in if she sees my kids being particularly horrendous and hideous.

but today, was brilliant.

my girlfriend sandi, fresh back from a motoring trip down through capri and other italian locales came over to tell me about her trip. for all you who were planning an italian viaggio, here are her tips:

"20 years ago you couldn’t go to italy in july and august.  10 years ago that extended to june. why? because of the tourists! what did you think i meant, the weather? no! well, now, it is may through september…every five feet, i kid you not, there were a couple of meatballs standing there with a map. and at locations, you couldn’t see the sky what with all the weenies with silly caps holding flags and their zombie bus people following them."

sandi is a very discerning traveller.

after telling me a bit more about the trip, we concentrated on the kids, who were desperate to show off for "sand-i". songs were sung, toys were pulled out, hopping on one leg was demonstrated. sandi said that sela with her exuberance, was turning into a little doris day and asked if she could waterski without getting her hair wet.

probably?

on the sly, sandi, who has known sebastian since he had three hairs on his head and was 20 hours old, (she was his first hospital visitor), slipped sebastian some marbles to play with. sebastian was thrilled. "don’t play with them around the other kids" said sandi. "they’re not grown up like you."

sebastian was told to put the marbles back in the bag, a command which he ignored.

eventually, he showed the marbles to jasper, who was very excited and screamed, "thebbie put ithe cubeth on the floor! naughty thebbie!"

put the marbles in the bag and away, dictated parental tess, to no avail. the triplets went to bed.

sebastian then said that he would store the marbles under the table. i was lying on the sofa wondering the best way to handle this, when sandi said, "are they in the bag? no? how old are you sebastian?"

"five," my little man answered, promptly.

"when will you be six?"

"at my next birthday."

sandi laughed, "well when is that?"

"november."

"all right sebastian. i am taking these marbles back and i will bring them to you when you are six. you didn’t act responsibly."

sebastian apologised, and predictaibly, as per page 1 of "sorry i got caught not sorry that i committed the crime," promised that from now on he would listen and obey and be responsible. but sandi stood firm.

and i lay back in the sofa.