for anyone curious…nothing monumentally repugnant occurred yesterday. we had fun. but mc had come home, and the tuesday had been a completely horrific day.

mag char and i have been watching desperate housewives, which i find to be less dynasty goes to the ‘burbs and more twin peaks. we like! north americans commenced their love affair with wisteria lane last september, but in asia, the series started in may. however, i cant commit to being home every week at a certain time, so the only answer was to buy the first season of the show. which we did and quickly got hooked. magnificent in particular, i might add.

last saturday we were lying in bed watching the show when sebastian sauntered in, fresh from his nap. we were unimpressed that he had woken up 40 minutes early, but grateful that he hadn’t roused the triumverate.

"i’m the bus mother!" he announced, as magnificent charles paused the tv. "everyone get in and i will take you to school!"

mc and i looked at each other in despair. pausing in the middle of an episode? could it be done?

sebastian repeated his request, this time pulling at my hand. everyone out!

my mind raced. my entire education flashed before me. surely i should be able to distract him yet keep him occupied…the key was in wording…come on tess…

bingo.

bus mother!

yes, come with me.

bus mother, my husband and i are both lying down. we are going to the hospital. in the ambulance. can you drive the ambulance for us?

a lengthy pause as the bus mother considered the ramifications to her career if she changed vehicles.

yes.

magnificent suddenly remembered why he married me and smiled with relief. yay tess!

sebastian pulled up a stool beside mc’s side of the bed, we lowered the volume of the tv so it was barely audible over sebastian’s vroom vroom driving noises. i declared myself a genius.

five minutes later, the vrooming stops. and the bus mother announces,

the ambulance broke. everyone into the school bus!

i rummaged through my drawer. there would be sacrifices, but it just might work.

bus mother, wait! i have another idea!

what is it?

i’m not hearing any politeness, bus mother.

thank you, what is it please?

why don’t you take this tape (I hold out a container of scotch tape) and FIX the broken bit?

you could see the bus mother’s eyes go from suspicious to happy. he hustled over to me and grabbed the tape

say thank you

thank you

and he got to fixing. streams of tape were applied to our bed, our duvet, the floor and door and other surfaces. he criss crossed and turned around and every once and a while came to be and demanded money.

forget it! what if you don’t fix the ambulance very well?

i fix it.

so i would give him four m and m’s to keep him happy/silent. little extortionist.

by the time the scotch tape screetched to a halt at the end of its cylinder, the episode was over and we were just watching him. it was hilarious. the mechanisms on wisteria lane got nothing on the manipulations and mechanics happening at 122 pokfulam road.