tertia posted on this topic a while back, it is probably a universal theme amongst mothers.
how much effort should i make with my own appearance?
what is an effort?
it can range from
1. brushing teeth
2. brushing hair
3. taking off makeup from night before
4. styling hair
5. applying chapstick
6. applying lipstick
7. applying mascara
8. applying rouge, and coverup while infront of a mirror (as opposed to using jasper’s drool bubbles as a mirror)
9. applying eye shadow
10. applying lip glass
i can confidently say that i do number one. usually number two as well. (i can do that while sitting on the toilet) maybe thrice a week i get up to a four, and once a week maybe an eight or nine.
why is this.
i really don’t care how i look. i always get a bit surprised at people’s reactions to me when i am looking disheveled, but i know they love me for me. and if they don’t, hey, i am 35 now, i can say I DON"T CARE and MEAN IT!
makeup is not essential to my life right now. my mothering abilities, patience, temper, insight, love, etc, (and i know this from experience) is not affected by the amount of makeup i wear. if it was, i would be a tammy faye.
even wearing my nice clothes, i don’t, mainly because i am still horrified by how i look in them, and secondly, it makes more sense for me to wear easily cleaned jeans, sweats and shirts right now. if i am on the floor playing with my kidlets, the last thing i want to worry about is keeping my legs crossed. so goodbye to everything but the very washable and longer cute skirts. i need to lunge to catch errant bodies, and toys. why bother getting upset with the smear and dirt marks the filthy three leave on me when i could focus on the stains on the sofa?
i don’t always look groomed. i never care. my appearance reflects my life right now. definitely, you don’t have to look like me, look at all those new mothers out there who look divine. heck, i looked great when sebastian was a toddler. i don’t mean to be an advertisement for "parenting hell" (a) because i am not getting paid for it and b) because i don’t think i am in parenting hell). my look right now is what works for my life.
i look at other mums with newer kids who have taken the time to put on their makeup and i know it is just a case of different priorities. i could do that if i wanted to, but right now, i don’t. i’d rather take the five minutes and read. talk with charles, or a friend. my face, my choice.
looking back at pictures of myself, i occasionally wonder why i don’t make more of an effort, but hindsight is 20/20.
jasper just vomitted. it has been that sort of day.
lastly, thank you for all the kind things written in the comments section. v.v. nice to read on a day like today.
Reader interactions
11 Replies to “my face, my fault”
I agree with you Tess, with one personal exception. I have v.v. fair eyelashes and if I leave the house without mascare people ask me if I am ill. SO – it is LESS hassle to put on the mascara than it is to field questions about how sickly I look.
hmmmm, isn’t tammy fay gay?
NOT that it matters, you know.
u are gorgeous no matter what. I personally have to put on an entire face full of make up. On the weekends, I could care less. I look like hell, but hey, it’s the weekend. I no longer care about who I run into. Belated Happy Birthday…when was it?
PS-I dressed up as Tammy Faye one year for Halloween. I even went as far as to mix corn syrup with a bit of black food coloring to resemble the tears down her cheeks. Cool costume.
um, 1, mostly. very occasionally i forget. that’s what chewing gum is for. 2, usually. although i’m more likely to brush it before i take a shower so i have less hair to clean out of the drain. after a shower, not as often. and makeup? i wear makeup for special occasions and that’s it. yeah, i look zitty and gross, but apparently i don’t care enough to do anything about it. although, for lab rats, makeup is pretty uncommon anyway. chapstick is important when lips get dried out and for sun protection. as for dressing up, well, i’m going to a wedding this weekend and had to buy a dress. i only have a few dressy outfits (and nothing summery, hence the shopping) and everything else is blue jeans and t-shirts, and most of the t-shirts are swag. to me a “good” shirt is one with no holes or stains. oh, and my hawaiian shirt collection falls into the “good” category.
tess, every picture i have seen of you you are completely gorgeous, face mask, makeup, spit-up stains, or otherwise. natural beauties such as yourself don’t need makeup anyway!
Have you ever seen this?
http://philosophicalmother.typepad.com/maternal_journal/
Regina looks to be your double, Tess!
I hear you! I am the mom to son and twin daughters. I went back to work part time when they were little, doing care for a quadraplegic womam, she once (or twice, or 20 times) remarked at how good I could look with a little effort. Screw that! This coming from someone who had me 4 hours a day to beautify her. No kids, no housework, no cooking for her… (No, not bashing the disabled, just a certain individuals attitude towards life).
I am who I am and I am happy with that. Good for you for recognizing your priorities too. (BTW you are a natural beauty, really. Not to worry!) Someday I will have the time to make the effort but right now things are good thank you very much 🙂
Oh you funny. No really, funny. REALLY.
Tess, you are stunning. If there is one woman NOT in need of make up, it is you. It is rather a kind thing that you don’t wear it actually, or we might feel the urge to collectively crawl into a hole. Go w what works for you – and really, anything does!
(Camille, my Mum has hardly any eyelashes and she colours them at the salon when I force her to. It looks great always and doesn’t take a lot of time. It lasts for a month and a half to 2 months, and it costs abt 25$ here – 20 Euros. Maybe that would work for you?)
delurking to say: Agree! I gave up makeup about 22 months ago. How old is my son you ask: 22 months! I too, would rather take that time for something more important. I completely understand where you are coming from. While I’m delurking I might as well say I love your blog. I found it a couple of months ago! Plus I love the Canadian factor (i’m in ottawa!)
Rather than say Jasper vomited again you may want to say that he ” brought up a new item”. I mean it sounds so scintillating.
Love Moe via Blakers.
Tess, you are a beautiful person and a wonderful mom/wife/friend. I don’t know you IRL (though I wish I would have a friend like you) and you are on the other side of the world, but you are a true inspiration to me.
No time for make up – nice clothes … I am with you saying… who cares… I don’t wear make up anymore since my son was born and prefer the comfy pants and shirts to chase my toddler around. Being a mom rocks and no amount of make-up can “improve” the smile on my face every time I see him.
Much love your way!
Yo, Tess, mostly I’m happy to sit on the can by myself for 3 minutes! Reality huh? 😉
Sometimes, I even get to close the door!!
Everyone else is right. You are such a beautiful girl. (I can say that as I’m about a year older!)
We should all send a note to your parents for their good gene giving…kinda like “paying it backwards” so to speak.