with all due respect to julie andrews, we’ll start at the middle, a very good place to start.

one year ago it was mother’s day. we had three babies in hospital. now, by this time we knew that they were probably going to live, although he did not know much about their quality of life. all three were on CPAP. but so tiny.

i already hated feeding the girls. it was russian roulette. you were meant to get 70 mls into them, yet at 45 they weren’t showing any interest. so…do you stop there, or do you press on? of course, if you press on, they’ll gain weight faster.

unless of course, they throw up, which they are liable to do if their tummies are too full or if they are feeling stressed.

and of course, if you stop feeding them, there’s always the risk they will throw up anyway.

the slog of the three daily visits to the NICU was taking its toll. we knew their health for the immediate future was okay, but, the doctors were talking about long term issues. jasper’s eyes, sela’s hydracephalus, cary’s precious limbs, jasper still needing oxygen. we couldn’t imagine bringing these children home, what IF they stopped breating in the night? no machines to bleep and alert us to the problem, no way we could save their lives.

plus, things we had not had the time to do for months thanks to our NICU lifestyle were demanding to be done. taxes, bills, responses.

and in the midst of all this, arrived mother’s day. i knew sebastian would crayon me a card, and indeed he did. it was beautiful. we went to church and afterwards, we left sebastian with a helper and walked over to the hospital.

inside their room, charles decorated the bassinettes with individual letters, cards and hearts. one of the nurses, winnie, had printed out english lyrics to a chinese song that honours mothers. i don’t cry…often….and i didn’t then, but it was close. if it had been at a time in my life where i could cry, i would have.

it wasn’t just that for this one day, my babies were like any other babies across the globe and giving me mother’s day cards..it was the thoughtfulness and love of my overworked and overtired husband. it was amazing. he is amazing.

yet another reason he is magnificent.