my grandfather died over the weekend. even though he had been ill for a while, it was still a surprise.
i mentioned my grandfather before, in an earlier blog.
it is easier to think of my grandfather dead than to think of him in pain. or doing what he didn’t want to do, being where he didn’t want to be.
i’m not going to share too much about my grandad, but here are some brief memories:
1) he fought in the second world war. he was a banker, not an army man, but he fought. for as long as canada was in the war, my grandad was "over there". he even came home with shrapnel lodged in his cheekbone above his teeth that remained for the rest of his life. he was with the troops that liberated holland, and returned, 50 years later, to be wrapped in love and thanks.
2) after retiring, he taught ESL free of charge at a local community centre to recent immigrants to vancouver.
3) he loved animals, opera and sport. went to see the movie "as good as it gets" not because of jack nicholson, but because of the brussels griffin dog. ("by far the best actor").
4) when he was 80 years old, he sped me to the vancouver airport after I read my plane ticket incorrectly, in order that i wouldn’t miss my flight and have to pay for another flight i couldn’t afford. i made the flight.
my gran is doing as well as can be expected. how can you be so calm after losing the person you have loved for the past 50 years? i have only loved and known magnificent for eight – i cannot imagine the magnitude of losing the hand i had held for over half a century.
a few years ago, when travelling from san francisco to hong kong via vancouver, mc was staying at my grandparents house. (they loved him so much they gave him keys to their house after his first visit!) he brought out the video camera, and taped them talking about relatives, their love story and lives, recollections they had of their past. they gently argued back and forth over genealogy, dates, and other such events they had shared together as the stories came tumbling forth, to be captured, heard and remembered by the next generations.
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Oh Tess, I’m sorry. It’s ones like these I know I’d have missed as well. He sounds absolutely lovely.
Awww Tess – I am so sorry to hear this news. I can totally understand what you said about thinking of them gone rather than in pain or being somewhere they don’t want to be.
How absolutely AWESOME that MAGNIFICENT Charles video taped them! That will be one of the most treasured possessions that you own without a doubt.
My grandparents also were married for over 50 years and it was hard on my grandmother when her sweetheart died. I hope she gets to go and spend eternity with him soon – I know she will be so much happier.
God Bless you and your family Tess – I will be thinking of you.
I didn’t comment on your first grandad blog but it moved me deeply. See I’m dutch. My grandparents were liberated by young men like your granddad. My parents in law (then 10) got finally food after being starved in the coldest darkest winter of the war in the destroyed city of rotterdam. Saturday it is 60 years ago that Groningen the town I know live was liberated by Canadians. As an editor of our local churchpaper I just receive an article about those days. I just wanted to translate a couple sentences for you:
For the first time in my life I hear my mum speak english as she opens the door and welcoms our liberators. A bit later it is safe outside and we run outside elated. We are liberated and I can still feel the joy and the exitement..
Your granddad so deserved our love and gratitude and I’m so sorry for you and teh rest of your that he has passed away..
Mijk
I am so sorry about your grandfather. How wonderful, though, of MC to get your grandparents on tape. I wish I had that of my parents and grandparents.
Tess…..
So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved grandfather. I, too, found peace in midst of the sadness when my Grandma died – knowing she was no longer in pain.
A wonderful memorial you have written — a peek into the life of what was obviously a remarkable man of good character. GOOD character is so hard to find now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family as you grieve your loss.
i’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. he sounds like such a wonderful man. i’m sure you are a reflection of many of his fine qualities. our thoughts are with you, your family, and especially your grandmother.
Delurking with my condolences — sounds like the world lost a truly good soul.
Tess, I’m so sorry to hear about your granddad. However, I am thrilled that you have such precious memories of him and thatyou have the video of both him and your grandma together – very precious.
Tess
I know how hard it is to lose someone you love – but the memories will carry you through with time. I wanted to also let you know that my father and his family were also in occupied holland during the war – so owe folks like your granddad heartfelt thanks. My dad moved to Canada a year after the war ended and loved it until his death 8 years ago.
That was a beautiful memorial for your granddad. May he rest his peace.
I’m so sorry dear. Surprising or not it never hurts any less.
May your memories last a lifetime. Keep him close to your heart. Sounds like he was a very good soul. xoxo
Tess, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your grandfather. This was beautifully written.
Your memories are beautiful…your love obvious….thank you!!! Lyns
Darling, thank you so much for your sweet tribute to Dad. Words such as these, coming from a grandchild, carry extra weight. I was touched by the letters from your correspondents who are from Holland and thanked Dad for their freedom – oh, how much that means to me. Many thanks to mijk and kiwican.
Love, M xox
I am so sorry for your loss. Even the ‘expected’ deaths are so very hard.
I am living just outside of Vancouver BTW. Are you from the area?
My sympathies to your Grandma, must be so hard to lose a partner after so many years. And my condolences to you and your family.
Tess & Family,
I received a card once, that left an indelible memory, which read:
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky…
but, rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy – Eskimo legend
Thinking of you with sincere sympathy, and hoping that a dark night with bright stars gives you the same heart warming feeling that it now does for me.
xoxo
Tess – I am sorry to hear of your loss. My grandpa was the world to me. Grandpa’s so very special aren’t they?
*hug* Very sorry about your grandfather.