one of sebastian’s best friends is expecting a sibling in the next few weeks. the friend, who lunches here with his sister twice a week, examines the triplets carefully and kisses them as he is leaving goodbye.
whenever he starts paying a bit too much attention to the trio, sebastian steps in and says, not aggressively but as a reminder,
my babies.
and he and his friend go back to playing.
sebastian has declared the babies his own property since phuket.
i miss my babies.
we go home to my babies and mina and ita?
and statements about his babies are accompanied with him placing a hand to his chest.
this proprietary nature towards his siblings extends to his feelings towards them now that sela and carys (jasper doesn’t really care, he smiles and watches) are grabbing toys that sebastian considers "his". he’s doing a lot of grabbing away from the babies.
my babies are eating my purple car!
and most often times, one of them will be.
the babies continue to love sebastian, and even when he rips things out of their hands, follow him around.
and listening to them follow him around is exquisite. the chubby pat-pat pat-pat of their hands slapping against the wood, the pause when they’re trying to turn a corner or lift themselves up to see what he is doing.
they laugh when he jumps. mum and i tried it, they don’t laugh when we jump.
they laugh when he "falls" to the ground. they don’t even wait for me to hit the floor.
of course it is irritating to him that they are shoving his precious toys (of course more precious when they are playing with them) in their mouths, and soon will be invading more of his space and life. but oh they love him. he makes their lives funnier, more interesting, he isn’t their carer, he is their entertainer. watching him put on shoes evokes smiles from sela. i would love that sort of worship!
when i first got pregnant i wondered what i had done to sebastian. would triplets ruin our relationship with him? would he always feel like the odd man out?
that’s one of the reasons they all share the same room. so it can’t be a "them vs me" memory for him. they’re all in this sibling stuff together. not the triplets and sebastian, but "just wait until i tell your father what you kids did" team. or, "i can’t believe you all spent your money and bought me this." it doesn’t matter that he isn’t a triplet, it matters that they love him. in a special way, like they love each other.
for now, i hope the triplets assault on sebastian’s toys and food is balanced with how he feels witnessing how much they love him. it might not prevent fights and grabbing today, but years down the road it might promote grabbing the phone and checking in, just to say hello.
Reader interactions
7 Replies to “their dynamite napoleon”
Oh Tess……..
Seb is such a wonderful brother. I am so touched by his care and concern for “his babies.” That kind of love truly is something to cherish. It’s too bad we adults sometimes forget to be that way!! Give Seb and all his babies a big kiss for me!!
I think you’ve done a great job with the kiddos and inspiring their relationships.
I’m 6 years older than my siblings and even though they just turned 21 (oh my god!) they’re still MY BABIES. I called them my babies when they were infants and I still think of them as mine.
You’re right – doesn’t mean we didn’t fight or argue about things along the way, and sometimes there are still things we can say or do to get on each other’s nerves. But still, we love love love each other. At the end of the day, that’s the best.
I’m an adult twin with a brother 6 years older. When we were babies, Ry asked why did mom and dad share a room and the babies shared a room but he had to sleep alone. My mom, oldest of 6, had never thought of it that way b/c when she was a kid she desperately wanted a room of her own. She let Ry sleep in our (the babies) room but it didn’t last long because we were too noisy for him 🙂
I was smiling all through this post. Imagining little Sebastian and his three little babies.
I am still smiling.
This is your DH… I worship you like that. Next time you put your shoes on… look out!
And as for the kids eating the purple car… just wait until their father gets home.
I’ve noticed that in pictures of Seb with the triplets, Seb looks like a fourth and larger triplet. 🙂
I love how you’re trying to make sure he’s included in the group. Very like how you fostered his great relationship with his dad. It’s wonderful, the conscious structuring that you do to make sure everyone in your family is relating positively to the others.
Beautiful post. I wondered myself, with the addition of each child as my little family grew from one son to four sons and a daughter, how they would manage, had I done something *to* them instead of *for* them…
My eldest son is 11 now, he is the leader of the pack. As a sibling group of five, they have become something more spectacular than I could have imagined, and I laugh softly at myself when I recall my concerns that the arrival of each new child would take away from the child that came before. I should have known…individually, collectively, they add more to one another and to our family. I should have known…love grows. Love always grows.
What a lovely nod to siblings your post brings…