Author: charlestess

so here we go

saturday was valentines day. i don't think any of you will be particuarly surprised to know that i don't really buy into the whole valentines day spiel, but, my husband is a rather romantic fellow. every year he makes me a collage of pictures of the year that has just passed, combines it with love poems and Bible verses and presents it to me for 14 february.

add that to the fact that magnificent arrived home from a business trip on 13 feb, and well…i HAD to do a little something for valentines day.

i ended up making him eggs benedict (his fave breakfast) which sounds good but unfortunately wasn't. i was too lazy to make the sauce from scratch, and so i used a packet, and it was grainy and really disappointing. but it's the fort wort counts, right?

then i presented him with his gifts…gifts that were guaranteed to make him happy (because he likes these things) and gifts that were guaranteed to make me happy because they are disposable. freshly ground coffee was at the top of the list. i called charles' husband, paul, for advice on which coffee to buy and paul came up trumps. i told paul i would give him credit if the gift was a success (and let him fall if magnificent didn't like the taste) and so i now publicly thank paul for knowing my husband's java preferences.

it was a good day, and then in the evening we went to odila's for a milestone birthday party. lots of familiar faces and some new folks to meet. a great time. and the food…well well well…fantastic is a good word. the hostess looked fabulous and zexy in black sequins and joel was rumpled eleganance as always. charles and i kept looking at each other from across the room and mouthing, "we really need to be going" and half an hour later, coming to that same realisation.

it was a great evening.

today was a rugby tournament. sebastian took a while to warm up, but played really well in games 3 & 4. so proud of my little man.

enough said…over and out for now.

same old same old

this is a fairly ironic title for a blog about vomit.

today, as i was talking to ursula on my mobile about a cancelling a lunch so she can come on a hike with me and mandy, the phone rang. i pushed jasper toward it and he answered lovingly, "hiiiiiii". a second later, he gave me the phone. "it's for you".

it was nurse anne.

whenever i hear, "it's nurse anne" i always think "head lice" and hold my breath while one hand flies up to my head and my nails start scratching. et tu, pavlov?

but no, sebastian was just in the nurses office with a tummy ache. he had been in and out of the office throughout the day and had only nibbled at his lunch. poor poppet. jasper was chatting to ursula, so i hung up with anne, grabbed jasper (girls were having a playdate) and we headed down to kennedy to pick up sebastian.

sebastian was pale and listless, and we walked in the door at around 2pm. he said the ache was gone. nurse anne had asked if there was anyone in the clas who was upsetting him, if that had caused the stomach ache. i said no, things were good…things are good! at around 2.40 sebastian said he didn't want to watch television and went and laid down in his bed.

at 2.45 jasper rocketed down the hallway and said, "i just heard sebastian vomit!"

i got up and ran down the hallway (kicking off slippers) and indeed, there was the evidence. (i thought he had only nibbled at his lunch?) a massive vomit down the steps of his bunkbed, the heater, the bureau and the floor. and jasper's sheets. i grabbed some towels and began cleaning, and instructed jasper to ask marian for a bucket filled with dettol and hot water. jasper got me some rags, and i gave one to seb. as soon as a pathway was cleared i opened the windows.

oh, the smell of dettol is comforting. not romantic, but reliable.

following my adage of, "you feel better after brushing your teeth"…seb was climbing the steps to be all minty fresh when he dashed for the toilet and thank you very much, yakked into the basin. so brave. so accurate.

his eyes were all glassy and he was so hot, i risked it and gave him some kiddie ibuprofin.

a few hours later, no repeats, but there are also three more kids in this house.

it's fair to say i am weary of vomit, but i am not overwhelmed by all the sickness, because it really hasn't been all that bad. but i am incredulous. and, not feeling so great, so….goodnight.

what can you say?

today jasper came home with an odd look on his face.

"mummy today i asked miss rupa what her mummy's name is."

i thought, foolishly i thought, what a nice sensitive boy i have. he really is a thinker and a lover. and my self congratulatory thoughts were interrupted by reality.

jasper continued…"she told me her mother's name was virginia."

and of course you know what my son responded. the minute he said "virginia" i put my hand over my mouth because i KNEW jasper was going to work vagina into the conversation. and he did. "VIRGINIA?" he said incredulously? "that sounds like V@GIN@!"

what a man what a man what a man.

there are a couple of reasons for the new springs in my running step:

1) obviously, i am running again. after several months of annoying itbs, which stopped me running and bootcamping back in november, i am back in the game. the running game that is. i have been hiking for a month now. it feels pretty good. haven't had that eerie stinging over my knees and that ouchie in my hip. although i do have a smellie on my shoe from stepping in dog squish.

i am religiously avoiding downhill runs. (i await your massive applause). this is difficult because hong kong is a pretty hilly place. so i don't have a lot of options. but i am sticking to the family path, which is pretty much four to five kilometres from door to door. i walk down a LOT of steps, but that's the least of my worries.

2) music. i need to jiggle around with my itunes but i am loving some new songs. katy perry's hot n cold can keep me running for a while. see? i'm hip (albeit stretched and strained), i'm cool!

but it's U2's "i still haven't found what i'm looking for" that keeps me running that extra mile these days. that plaintive song, so full of longing, love, hope and pleading takes me back and pushes me forward. 

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
 

of course this song reminds me of my relationship with Christ. how i won't have all the answers, until one day when my time on earth is done. and i will keep running. some days, it is away from Him, but those days are far fewer than they used to be.

it can always be worse

hearing the words, "mummy i vomitted" are not pleasant words.

but they are not the worst, i learned the other day.

the worseness is compounded when:

– the child is talking to you

– it is 3.30 in the morning

– they repeat the sentence and tag on, "i vomitted in bed".

sweet heaven.

i swung out of bed, filled with tiredness and sympthy for sela. poor little dote.

but, i was also alert enough, my mum beams working at 90 per cent to say:

"turn toward the door" (aka: not near my bed, if you are vomitting again, i don't want it to be on my bedlinens)

my next question: "are you going to vomit again"

once we had established NO, i asked , "did you get any vomit on yourself? and so after i had removed her nightdress, i gave her a cuddle. (didn't want vomit on me.)

sela was still tired and a bit weepy, so i let her come and watch me have a wee, which always cheers the kids up. something about how much space my bottom takes up on the seat. and then i dispatched her off to brush her teeth "you will feel better. everyone needs to brush their teeth to feel tidy and fresh after they vomit" i went into the room she shares with three others to inspect the damage.

i started off touching the floor around me. so far so good. nothing. the air purifyer was also pristine. excellent. i crawled until i was looking down on the bed and saw the rough outline of the damage. quickly whisked off the sheets, and the blanket. placed them in the middle of the floor, something i could never do if all four kids were awake and moving around.

faster than you can say, "that really smells" i changed the bed, and just as sela was coming into the bedroom with her minty fresh teeth, i got her back into bed, said a quick prayer wth her and gave her spongebob. ah…it was tempting to linger over the kids because i do like them aLOT when they sleep, but i did have to get on with it.

i took the sheets and blanket into the kitchen and finally for the first time was able to shed light on the situation. could have been worse. took a plastic bag and scooped the vomit off the sheets. flushed it. tied the vomit bag tightly but put bleach in it first. rinsed sheets, kept them in sink. (couldn't start washer because it is next to gary and marianne's room and i didn't want to wake them up). and that was that. back to bed.  

am so glad she didn't vomit on the floor.

so, i guess it is time to talk a bit about octuplets.

when i first heard the story, i was amazed. another mum of multiples, upon hearing that the mum had carried the eight kids to 34 weeks, was stunned.

"she must have a uterus of steel!"

i agreed.

and suddenly the focus of the story shifted from eight babies to other numbers:

– six children at home

– only one parent

– parents forced into negative numbers trying to support the daughter

– two bedroom home

i pretty much know what the multiples comunity thinks on this topic.

today's topic…if she does get her wish and is interviewed by diane sawyer and oprah for $2m, is the public wrong for giving in to her, or are they giving the taxpayers of California relief?

it would be very easy to blame the doctor for a lot of this. however, i don't believe the doctor was right in transferring eight embryos. i am torn but leaning towards no on the issue of: the doctor has any right to deny this woman fertility treatment based on her financial situation or the number of children she has already.

did anyone get into bed with you and your partner at the time you conceived your child and ask if you could financially and psychologically raise him?

today hong kong put editha to rest in a short, moving ceremony. katie and gus both spoke, as did editha's dear friends abi and rose, and her daughter lyn. (at left, editha holds carys in june 2005. we never had a feb 2005 birthday party for the triplets. instead we had a party close to the anniversary of the triplets coming home from the hospital. the party was held on our building's playground with close to 160 adults and kids attending. in the background we posted pictures from the nicu.)

although i am still dizzy when standing too much, with charming headache and throat accompianment, i was going. i was up anyway….charles left for japan and i needed to man the troops. thankfully, chad offered to look after all seven kids, which meant that andrea and i could go to the memorial. and be on time, i thought.

yes, well. as i was yelling at the kids to put on their shoes i reaised i was feeling a little dizzy. better sit down. i took the opportunity to review the items i had stacked by the front door, ready to head down to the playground:

scissors, tape, cups, plates. beer in fridge, ice, wine, juice, water

did i mention that i was in charge of food and beverage for the tea after the memorial? could you guess that jennifer, ruth, tara and susan did virtually everything? and that i seconded chad into ordering the pizzas for me?

the queer dizzy feeling eventually left and we made it to 1a where i dropped off the kids, had a quick chat with chad about the pizzas and then andrea, normally the most laid back person in the world about time said, "we should go" and hustled me out of there.

and then i realised, it was 1.55. we were going to be late for the memorial.

and we were.

katie had already finished speaking and gus was halfway through when we arrived. it was no consolation to learn they had started early and many others had missed some of the memorial as well. we did hear abi speak…and she was fantastic. no script, just a smile, and memories of a treasured friendship to be resumed.

it was a lovely memorial. toughest was hearing lyn speak. she talked of how her mother had left the philippines to be a domestic helper when she was 14. this is longer than many children in the philippines have their mothers for. she talked about the sacrifice, and what her mother's hard work had gotten the family, financially. what it had taught her, as a person, especially when she came to hong kong as a helper.

the audience was mainly filled with helpers, and although they had been listening to gus, they were hanging on to lyn's every word. and i realised it was because every single one of them was a child, and the great majority of them probably have children. and would hope that their sacrifice, service and love would be spoken of in this tender a voice, this tone of gratitude and thankfulness. and love.

from talking to helpers i know that as money makers (overseas foreign workers account for country’s financial backbone, with the earnings they send home — US$14.45 billion in 2007 — accounting for 10 percent of gross domestic product) when they get on the phone to talk to their much loved children, they are often greeted with "can you send" and "i need" instead of "i miss" and "i love". their children, left in care of relatives, can get a different definition of who their mother is, what she is going, and why. but i remember lita, saying to me when baby melissa was born, "i'm working so my daughter has a better life." the domestic helpers in hong kong aren't here for the job. they're here for the result of what their hard work will provide them. despite the pain it causes them. the pain of sacrifice.

today, lyn's words, editha's life – affirmed these helper's choices, their dreams and goals for their family. editha's death, while incredibly sad, gave the women who work for a family six days a week, a chance to hear the words they are yearning to hear from a daughter, or how they feel about their own mothers who also work abroad. "thank you. i love you. i will miss you."

now that it's over, it doesn't seem like it was that bad.

for the past four days, i have been quite ill, with swollen tonsils, a high fever and several other annoying symptoms. oh right, stuffy nose. i would wake up choking in the middle of the night, my teeth coated with a disgusting dried substance i would scrape off. i was moaning in discomfort, which of course kept charles up. i watched a lot of E! entertainment and THE NANNY, which is SO not a children's show.

the doctor, of course, being quite chintzy with the antibiotics, said nothing wrong with tess, and talked to me about ibuprofin tablets. for what? the drug starved mother of four inquired, to place in the middle of my jaw to stop it from hurting so much? thank goodness for chocolate chip mint icecream.

so, thousands of lemsips and hot chocolates (no, not together) and mint chocolate chip ice cream and tangerines (sometimes together) later, i am back upright. the computer doesn't hurt my eyes anymore, so i am typing again. i still am very tired, but that isn't such a big deal. i will actually get outside tomorrow, which is a huge deal. it is editha's memorial, and i am organising the food. i have to make a huge run to park n shop for ice, napkins and a few other essentials, plus make a cheese and cracker platter and order some pizzas. nothing too hectic. and charles is leaving for japan at 1pm.

so it is a good thing i am healing, because i don't have time to be ill.

time to head back to bed.

we had the greatest day.

the morning got off to a slightly slow start which was fine with us. carys actually didn't wake up until 8.30. it was a breakfast of bran flakes or pop tarts, and the boys chose pop tarts while the girls went for the fda approved meal, topped with maple syrup. ( a little trick their father taught them that i am not so pleased about).

at around 11am, just as charles was ending a conference call, i informed him and les enfants terribles that it was time to get out of the house. cabin fever had settled in. we didn't have a specific plan, but we knew it involved the car because charles isn't such a fan of public transport.

so we got in the car and headed toward stanley. this 20 minute drive is quite a long one for the kids and sebastian did ask, "are we there yet" twice. they asked what we were going to do, and charles and i said we didn't know. i really didnt. i did know that i wasn't crazy about the beach…it was COLD today and we are just getting past the ubersnotty nose stage, and i hate how the sand gets tracked back into the flat….as we drove by stanley, i said, "hey, lets go into stanley. there is a playground there, and parking." bonus for us, there was also a pacific coffee company.

stanley caters to tourists, and so despite that CNY is a time that all chinese take off work and spend with family, it appeared that at least half the shops were open. we bought some laichees, tangerines and grapes, and then i spotted some dresses that might do nicely for carys and sela. they do need nice winter dresses. the girls were enchanted, and all begging to go to a playground ceased immediately. (HAHAHA!) we settled on a very nice beige and blue dress (their choice, not mine, see how non AR i am?) and charles bought the boys batman costumes.

shopping completed, we went to the playground and stayed there for 120 minutes. enough for a trip to the pacific coffee company to use their bathroom, as both jasper and carys were desperate. sebastian and sela played together and were quite gorgeous. charles and i wrote postcards and sat in the sun that did more to warm us up than the tea did.

then it was time to move on. we told the kids we were going to the next adventure. they were enchanted. shopping for cool clothes, a playground AND more? what more? they begged and we honestly said we didn't know.

for a time we thought we were going to walk around the tai tam reservoir area, but there wasn't parking space. so we didnt. we continued around hong kong island to a very unique area called shek-o. it is an old fishing village and today is a mix of mansions and homes belonging to erstwhile fisherman. some three and two walled restaurants, and, a beach.

as we were driving into shek-o we realised there was a dragon dance going on. the kids were fascinated, and disappointed that charles couldn't just park the vehicle in the middle of the street. we came back to the dragon dance and followed the dragon as it wended through the village, darting into a couple of homes and "blessing them. it danced for a few more minutes in the community hall, and charles and i held two kids while sebastian and whoever we werent holding sidled their way to the front and watched, enchanted.

i saw they were getting ready to throw down the firecrackers, and knowing my kids hatred for loud noises, i motioned that it was time to go, and 20 seconds later, the bangbangbang started. hands went to ears immediately, and the kids didn't mind leaving.

from there, we wended our way to the beach, where  jasper threw sand, sebastian immediately sprinted to the rocks and started climbing, and the girls played mamma mia, printed their names, and looked for shells. there were some surfers, and we watched them, while admitting we were very glad we weren't them. we followed charles to where sebastian was climbing, and even though the tide was coming in very quickly, we all climbed steps up to a rock, and looked out into the sea. it was quite slippy and the tide was coming in quickly, so we didnt stay, but it was a great thing to do.

we got the kids down, clambered over the rocks, and encouraged them to run across the beach to the next bit of rockery. there was a bit of a climb there, which we took. then we told the kids, much to their disappointment that the adventure part of the day was done. they were sad, but agreed, SHOPPING! (dress and batman, something for everyone), PLAYGROUND PLAYING! DRAGON DANCING, BEACH, CLIMBING ON ROCKS, ADVENTURE WALKING was quite a bit for one day. then charles and i announced our intention to have a thai /chinese meal at one of the beachfront places. it was exellent. we ordered a slew of food and it was fantastic.  the kids ate and so did we. firecrackers were going off around us, but after a while the kids realised they needed both hands to operate their chopsticks (except sela), and so they uncovered their ears and used their hands to eat.

after the truly great meal, we walked toward the car and realised…the dragon dance had started again! yes, the dragon was marching into local shops and homes and delivering ceremonial blessings. and as we watched, the dragon climbed a ladder and put a head of lettuce into his mouth, while batting his lashes. the lettuce was offered to him on a rope, fisherman style. not sure of the symbolism. the kids loved watching this and despite the cold, we did watch for a while and then headed towards the car. as i walked i saw that the dragon was winding up, i pulled the boys to me and told them, "look!" and they turned and saw the firecrackers go off. they were thrilled.

it was a gorgeous day. unexpected, and just chockers with all the things that make me love hong kong. shopping, fresh fruit, the beach, culture, great food.

doesn't anyone want to come and see us???

and on another extremely important matter…

i read the other day that prince william and kate middleton have been dating for six years now. that's quite some time in royal circles, practically equalling how long andrew and fergie were married, isn't it?

because she doesn't have a job and because she basically seems to be sitting around and hoping for a proposal, (that seems to be two years away), she has been dubbed "waity kaity". not nice.

but what's a girl to do? it's not like she has a lot of options when dealing with the house of windsor. she throws a wobbly and the press knows about it and laughs at her. she doesn't freak out and they call her milktoast and walked over.

what would you do if you were kate? would you wait it out, live the limbo life of a royal in waiting? or would you break up with william? (take up with harry??) there doesn't seem to be any middle ground option for miss middleton.