i’m hopefully over being over
strange things are afoot at the o-k corral.
if i had paid more attention to geology class, i could compare what i am going through right now to a geological shift. from under the surface of tess, there is a state of being that i haven’t known for some time. i don’t have the right word for it, but it brings about contentment, peace and the ability to endure a bit more.
there are a few contributing factors:
1) charles won’t be travelling (excepting today and tomorrow) for a few weeks.
2) dad and pam had a good visit! my dad got to meet my friends, and see my life!
3) i am back at Bible Study
4) i was early for my appointment with the counsellor and we had a very.good.talk.
despite these events, it was a surprise to wake up and search my fecund mind and realise, i am waking up tired, again, but hello! what’s this…?
to describe it as a happiness isn’t accurate, to say that i was depressed before isnt exactly accurate either. i was OVER.
i was overwhelmed.
i was overtired.
i was overcompensating.
so now, despite psyche’s best efforts to make me feel bad about a good situation, ie: hell’s bells and spiders ankles, i must have been pretty submerged for a while there
i feel good. things that yesterday seemed wayyyyyyyyy overwhelming, that i have been procrastinating doing, are pretty much done. besides the basics (feeding 15 times, changing 15 nappies, getting dressed, taking pills, etc etc etc), i ticked off five things on my list today.
when the babies were in the hospital, accomplishing some tasts just seemed monumental. it’s been similar to that this past six weeks. but today i woke up and did them without drawing a deep breath with my hand laying on the phone before picking it up. people (i really mean me but could use the company) are so strange.
and its funny, circumstances haven’t really changed all that much around here. jasper is wheezing and wiping himself across the floor, carys still requires a midnight feed, sebastian’s speech problems are still tough to listen to, sela’s head still wobbles, i still have to lose 20 pounds, olivia the cat still meows all the time, the list does go on.
my world hasn’t changed since yesterday, but i have. this is very good news.
