down under is a no go
we're not going to brisbane.
the combination of the amount we (over)spent at the icm banquet and things happening at charles' work means that we aren't going to brisbane.
folks, i am fighting hard on this one.
i think i always knew we weren't going. it just seemed too good to be true. i told charles this last night, and that statement hurt him a lot. i didn't mean it to, but hey, how often do we hurt people without meaning to?
i needed this trip. not like the people in the philippines need to get out of poverty, but i needed to see a new country, get a new stamp on my passport, feel new sand under my feet. i needed to feel like i wasn't getting into a rut.
i completely understand why we are not going. i support the decision not to go.
yet. i. am. despondent. and events of this week, small ones, suddenly have taken on mammoth importance all to mean i have a life of boredom, mean nothing to anyone, and a few more things.
i have no idea when the massive pity party will be over. i need to just put on my big girl knickers and get over this. believe me i am trying. i know that we have made the choice, the only choice that at the end of the month (if not day) is the only one i can live with. so we give up a trip…so people's lives are changed for the better. i can do this. and i will. i just have to get over the idea that i am frumpy, boring and in a rut. give me a couple of days.
more soon.
xo
