it surprises people when they realise that carys is the shortest member of our household. her long limbs and small frame lend her that illusion of height, as does her implacable will.
she is stubborn. and she is sly. while silence from jasper or sela means they are absorbed in something, unless i can see carys, her silence is disturbing, because it means she is up to no good. sela gives commentary as she climbs, while carys goes about her business quietly. remember she used to pull books of the bookshelves? she’s given that up. nowadays she pulls wine bottles off racks, drags out a pair of trousers, a sweater shoes for her mother to wear (she does get points because the clothes often match well), lines out of knitting. she is sly. and oh my, she is smart.
she doesn’t say much, but she concentrates. and fixes her laser beam glare on you. unblinkingly. with the expression never changing. she absorbs. she listens. she learns. scarily. i think carys will be the first of my kids to say a swear word.
she’s not adventurous, but when her mind is set on something, she is unstoppable. she is self-protective. she reveals little about herself, but knows exactly what sets others off.
she used to have tantrums in the playground and would emerge from them all grotty. those days have passed. these days if her wishes are not granted, she withdraws into herself. stores up the injustice, and carries on. revenge is best served cold, is it not?
her laughter is an explosion. completely unexpected. she gives polite smiles, or else her mouth opens and his hoarse little voice erupts into a belly laugh. she refuses to sit quietly in the bathtub, she smacks the water and screams when drops cover her face. she screams when we rinse what we optimistically call her "hair".
children who had the vent. for substantial periods of time often have hoarse voices. given carys’ fey appearance, her demi moore voice is a massive contrast. she doesn’t talk a great deal, her clear vocabulary consists of 15 words. but suddenly a mood overtakes her and she gabbles. she will give a one minute monolgue. often she will jump around at the same time. and then the full moon in her mind’s eye receedes, and she is done, and subsides again. i don’t know if she wants to reveal as much of herself and her passion as she does at those times, whether she can control it.
she is the child who most loves animals. possibly it is because she relates to them. i am a little untamed too.
although she has given us many stories for laughter, i don’t write about carys in the joking way i write about her siblings for the simple reason that she is not meant to be taken lightly. she is an intense personality. she is a velvety purple, changing shades as the material is moved back and forth, and as light catches different nuances.
carys is not an easy child. she is impassive, reserved and often i do not know what she is thinking. then there are the other times. when she belts across the room to me, when i am holding her and for no other reason then the fact we are together she leans to me and explodes into laughter, grasping my shoulders tightly, celebrating all she has earned and been given.
carys has fought for life. she doesn’t have memories of the fight, but there is a pulse, a place in her that remembers. i watch her running, and she is exultant. intense. she wants this life.
my candle burns at both ends it will not last the night
but oh my friends and ah my foes
it gives such lovely light
and she does.
she fascinates me.
Reader interactions
12 Replies to “carys deeply cares”
I love these pieces you’ve done on the kids. I think I now have such a strong perspective of what it is to know Carys today.
Carys may be a girl of reserve, but she shows me (each time I remember back) that fragile does not mean weak. Her reserve has served her well to this point, but now I think of the lovely light.
Once again, I can only say to Carys “You go Girl”. She deserves all that life has to offer, she fought hard to be here and I am sure will present you with the most challenge(s) of your kids. I only say this as she reminds me of a certain someone.
Hi Tess,
I’ve been a lurker for quite a while and have enjoyed your writing and the descriptions of life in HK.
I am delurking to say that your written portraits of Carys & Sela are beautiful. You are all so blessed to have each other.
Once again in tears, Tess. What a true example of the strength of the human spirit Carys is. She will no doubt impact the world as she grows up, with her zest for life. We could all learn a thing or two from that precious child. I certainly can.
Thank you Carys.
By the way – perhaps we could get an audio clip of that laugh??
🙂
I wouldn’t ever want to admit that I have favorites amongst your children…but I do have a fondness for Carys’ amazing spirit 😉
Ah, you’ve made me cry my friend, this was so beautiful.
I remember so clearly when the babes were born, how close we came to almost losing Carys. She was a special baby then, she crept into my heart.
What a wonderful blessing your babies are.
What wonderful kids you have
xx
Carys, my favorite!!!
I love these posts-they are so cute.
OK, I am now in tears. Just beautiful writing, Tess, and such a tribute to your wee daughter.
Love, M xox
Tessie,thanks for the articles about the young ladies.It was interesting that the quote from ” A few figs from thistles” was the same quote assigned to me when I graduated in 1959.
Love to all of you,
Dad
Tess –
I LOVE reading about your children!!!! You write about them with such love.
I am so glad to hear what a little rebal Carys is becoming.
What an incredibly beautiful description of an incredibly beautiful little girl(s)! You have managedbin a few short words to describe them so vividly; thank you, Tess, for sharing your babies with us. The pictures, too, capture Carys’ indomitable spirit and all its nuances. [I have to know–what was she into with the black all over her face?! Reminds me of Lois’ face when she has finished “coloring.”] Thanks for the laughter and, more often than not, a little tear, too!
Blessings, Erin