Author: charlestess

school is … okay?

life at kennedy school is getting better, maybe?

with my spidy senses, parenting knowledge and my circa 1976 nancy drew detective kit i have discerned that this week school has gone, okay.

evidence:

1) lunch is eaten

2) not as clingy

3) no requests to stay home

4) he says he spends time with someone called rufus

now of course, this could all be translated into

1) bullies are stealing his lunch and sebastian is too scared to say anything

2) runs from me the minute he hits schoolyard to try to reach classroom before bullies reach him and thump him and give him wedgies/swirlies etc

3) would rather be victimised than at home with terrible mother

4) rufus is a "pretend friend" and sebastian is psychologically unbalanced as well as friendless

conclusion: sometimes evidence is best left alone.

charles is away in australia right now. every person under four feet has asked at least twice today where he is, which serves to reinforce the crap job i am doing parenting in his absence.

this morning i took sebastian to his first rugby practise. it was actually pretty good, there are basically only two, two word phrases that you need to repeat for the first year. they are:

THROW BACKWARDS

and

RUN FORWARDS

many of the kids were confusing those two concepts today.

rugby ended at 10am and then there was a short talk where the volunteers asked for another parent volunteer to be the contact, to send out weekly emails and be an organiser. during the speech, as they were trying to make eye contact with the parents who were all examining their shoes, adam’s dad, chad was right beside me and we tried to flip each other’s hands up in the air and then tried to sucker the person next to me into doing it by taking a step backwards. all i know is i cannot commit to doing that right now.

rush home, change clothes and head off to church.

then home, lunch, nap….thank you. i watched a couple of episodes of friends. we have cable now, but i don’t have the time for a two hour movie or the mental capacity for that matter. what i DO have is a good time watching 22 minutes of sitcoms and i have to say, 30 rock is a very good replacement for arrested development, although i miss the dysfunction.

however, naps end, and the kids woke up and we headed down to the playground. oh the trama and dramas !! charles, need your good parenting to balance out my snarling ways and "natural consequences" style of parenting.

the other night we took sebastian to see the watoto children’s choir. www.watoto.com the children are from uganda, and at least one of their parents has been killed due to famine, disease (mainly hiv) or war. they come to the watoto communities, which were founded be canadian missionaries and are given a home, parents and an education. the choir travels the world.

the children we heard the other night ranged in age from 6-13 i would guess. they spoke of losing a parent, and how before they came to the watoto community they were starving, lonely, and scared. this concept struck sebastian hard. "how can they travel on an airplane if they have no mummy or daddy?" "will they grow up if their mummy is dead now?" and the question that tore my heart, "how come they are smiling if their mummy is dead? i want to know."

sebastian wanted to keep one of the singers, and we explained that they weren’t for sale like a luke skywalker doll. but i said that besides money, one of the things we could do to help the children was to appreciate our life. we may not like having cheerios instead of waffles, but at least we have food.

"tomorrow i will eat all my breakfast" he promised. and he did.

and today, when he was whinging about the fact that he had to do his reading words for school, i asked him if he wanted to read the "second chance" book, a story about a little boy that goes to live in a watoto community. he said yes, then gave me a hug. i guess he feels one parent who is trying is better than none at all.

the power of prayer?

i didn’t mention that after magnificent and i told sebastian he couldn’t take the day off school he told us matter of factly that he was going to pray that there was no more school.

imagine my surprise when i received an email seven hours later from kennedy school announcing that due to the water pipes exploding, the school would be closed the next day. imagine sebastian’s glee!

he wasn’t smug, he didn’t remember his prayer (thankfully), but he did enjoy his day off and has informed me that he is a superhero. imagine that, one day off of school and he is a superhero.

monday update

this morning sebastian came into our room in the wee sma’ hours and asked if he could stay home from school. this is the first time in the history of sebastian this has ever happened.

i asked why.

"because we have to work all the time and i don’t want to"

"what do you have to work at?" i questioned.

"printing and writing and it is hard," he shared.

ah.

day three here he comes, ready or unwilling.

i really should be thinner

this isn’t a chastising statement, a new year’s resolution, or something i say after finishing a particularly nice dish of curry.

it’s a fact. considering the sliding i do and squeaking out of tense and potentially loaded questions and circumstances, i should be dental floss on legs.

examples:

1) how do babies get made, mummy? asked sebastian on friday. : (instant colonic as he asks! and why does he never ask his father those questions!) and i managed to answer the question, quite boringly, and sweated off another 15 as i casually answered, "well you need a part from a lady and a part from a man to make a baby." and thank the Lord, (oh yes athiests, there is a God!) sebastian then got particular. "do you need a bit from a lady and a bit from the man to make hair/teeth/bones" and by the time we hit bones i was also able to talk about nutrition and growth…whew.

2) jasper’s crisis. there has been a lot of excitement about kennedy school and primary one. jasper was very involved in the excitement and magnificent and i did a lot of back patting, priding ourselves on how jasper and sebastian seemed to be getting closer and bonding, how sweet it was that jasper was so happy for sebastian and interested. and then the day before sebastian was to start at school, jasper announced that he was going to kennedy in the morning as well.  and burst into tears when i informed him that would not be the case.

"but i want to go to kennedy!"

quick tess, think. say something. (where is magnificent when the tough news has to be delivered?)

meanwhile, jasper is getting redder, breathing raspier, and he is simultanously wiping tears from both eyes with one hand, something that sebastian does as well.

panic, sweat…wait, this might do.

"jasper, how do you think miss tess would feel if you didn’t show up for school?"

"mith teth?"

"yes, miss tess, how do you think she would feel if you didn’t show up for school on the first day. do you think she might be sad?"

"yes. mith teth is my teacher."

"that’s right, jasper, and you get to sing "i am a pizza" with her, and you get to read, and she would miss you so much. you need to be in her class this year. and all your friends would miss you so much also."

"yeth. they would. okay, i will go back to thmall world."

that should have been 10 gone.

there are other examples. just five pounds maybe, but knowing that carys was crying today as i was putting on her princess fiona bandaid (princess fiona is beautiful like you mummy said sela) because to her the bandaid was upside down, and turning it 180 degrees so she could see it properly, that’s gotta be worth something.

so why am i not nicole richie, (minus the pregnancy and the jail sentence)?

it’s going????

i know they ate lunch, and snack.  he was good enough to share those details with me. but that’s the extent of my knowledge of sebastian’s inaugural day at p1. and i haven’t posted about it because writing makes it reality.

sebastian shared, "i sat in the middle, mummy, and no one sat beside me, on either side."

to this i replied, trying not to let the ache in my heart show, "in one month you’re going to have 30 new friends honey, this is just the tough bit where everyone is a little bit shy."

and last night, with magnificent still at the office and sebastian preparing for bed, sebastian said, "mummy, i wish i was in p2. why am i not in p2?"

deep breath.

"well, your dad and i had a long talk about it with the schools, and we all thought that you would like to spend another year in kindergarten. you learned so much at small world and had such a good year, and made so many new friends, and learned so many new things."

"but i don’t want to be in p1 now."

today sebastian was quite happy to go to school, but he didn’t mix with the other kids, and was clingy before and after. his teacher gently suggested, "he’s getting used to all the routines".

i do believe that in a month, when he gets to know people, sebastian will be racing around happily on the playground. i do believe that. but now is hard to watch.

so the first week is over. the good news is, he likes his teacher.

in 30 minutes

i am going to pick up sebastian from his first day at primary school.

will he look any different? act any different?

(ie: will he actually tell me anything about what he did today, who he played with, what activities they did, what he liked best, who he met, even what colour pencil crayons he used? throw me a bone!)

i will post before and after pictures. stay tuned.

redundant

no, i haven’t lost my job or company.

this post does not indicate being made redundant, it is more a warning that the topic is redundant.

here we go….you guessed it — i love hong kong.

thank you very much.

let me tell you more. the other day charles and i took sebastian and jasper for haircuts. afterwards, we were walking along lyndhurst terrace. right where lyndurst terrace connects with the escalators (conveniently right by my fave second hand bookstore and cafe siam, my fave thai place, best khao soy EVER), starts the central market.

these markets are outdoors and about four city blocks. flowers, fruit but mostly green veg and meat/fish is available here. i had promised the boys we could walk along here.

we started meandering. of course, the boys were fascinated by the huge blocks of meat hanging from the doorways and the flies buzzing around them and the right lights overhead. the butcher hacking away at bits of carcass, his smoke in the ashtray. the boys could have stared all day there, but no no no, something moved….yes! shrimp in buckets futilely creeping about. and of course, don’t forget the fish flapping from side to side, trying to stay underwater, piled on top of each other. that was charming. the boys were, if not charmed, certainly enchanted.

i deftly avoided the "mummy what is going to happen to the fish" question by asking young sebastian what fruit he wanted in his lunchbox for school on tuesday. he thought about it, and to help him along, i led him over to a fruit stall. pomelo, starfruit, longnan, mandarin oranges, grapes, regular oranges, apples, strawberries, anise…just let us know. magnificent and i were content that the boys lollygag here, there were no corpses around this area, just the fun coriander scented alleys. magnificent and jasper picked some oranges, and sebastian declared he wanted a mandarin orange for school. an excellent, and easy to peel choice i praised him.

it started to rain. we’re versatile people and our kids love rain, not a problem.

for the workers, it wasn’t a big deal either. stalls don’t shut when it rains in hong kong. the male stall owners ripped off their shirts, used their shirts to give their stalls more protection than the overhead already gave, and went back to work. wiry and ripped, at 30 or 70, with no teeth or all of them, business carries on. so it’s raining. that’s no reason not to spend money.

we keep walking, we keep walking. sebastian remembers there is a mcdonalds nearby and we get the boys an icecream, and then we jump on the bus and head home.

two minutes away from our destination, i tell sebastian it is his job to inform the bus driver when we want to get off the bus. he is sitting by himslf, and looks at me, a little worried and says in his overloud voice (but this bus is rattling away, he did need to be loud), "how do i say it again, mummy?"

i remind him, and then, at the appropriate time, i turn to sebastian, whose pupils are massive in his eyes and as the bus turns the corner on two wheels he whispers, "yao lok m goy" and i say, LOUDER! and he bawls out excitedly, "YAO LOK M’GOY!" and the bus jerks to a stop.

we clambor out, and seb is beaming, and jasper is impressed, as are charles and i.

we walk the short distance home, the boys climbing up things and parents holding hands, lifting up and supporting as necessary, and then we are home, to air conditioning, sing tao beer and two more children.

it is good to be home.

beijing 2008.

with less than one year before the beijing olympics begin, some rumours have started.

over the summer i heard a couple of canadian’s theories that some countries will boycott the olympics for political reasons.

while i doubt this is true (okay, taiwan might), i really hope this is not the case. i am not for countries boycotting the olympics.

why?

1) i don’t believe in athletes being used as political pawns.

2) the athletes dont make the choice not to attend, the choice is made for them.

3) athletes spend much of their lives, especially the four years leading up to the olympics, building up to this one moment in time. many of these athletes are full time athletes, and are hoping for a post olympic sponsorship that can help pay some of the bills (and parents)!

4) it’s the olympics! their dream! yes there are world championships, but the olympics are the pinnacle.

i hope politicians dont get in the way of dreams.

another person suggested that the pollution might be another factor for which beijing might come under attack. yes, beijing is polluted, no doubt about it, but since when have the summer olympics been about a clean healthy atmosphere? anyone remember mexico city and los angeles? so spare us that arguement. the summer olympics have been held in extremely polluted cities before.

(there is an interesting rumour which i personally believe, that three weeks before the olympics commence, the factories around beijing will shut down, drastically reducing the pollution that creeps over the city.)

beijing olympics will be interesting, no doubt about it. i am excited about them. hong kong is hosting the equestrian events (go look on your map to see how that is a geographical stretch of the imagination).

the lovers, the dreamers and….me

in the early 1980’s, the muppet movie came out.

this was enough of a big event for frugal blake to agree to take us kids to the cinema for a viewing.

i don’t remember most of the movie. there was the fellow trying to make frog legs, chasing them across the country, the set that collapses at the end, meeting up with fozzie bear, miss piggy, the van…and there were enough guest appearances to keep frugal blake smiling.

however, what i remembered, for 25 odd years, was the opening scene from the movie, Kermit the Frog’s "rainbow connection".

why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what’s on the other side?

that song had me from "hello". i remember when jim henson died, LIFE magazine dedicated the cover to hensen, and the cover photo had kermit, sitting in hensen’s director’s chair, his arm gently slung over the back, looking over his shoulder into the camera. (http://usedmagazines.com/cgi-bin/otherjpg.cgi?full/LF199007.JPG) no wonder kids think their plush toys are real. kermit was, to me.

over the years, i occasionally heard rainbow connection. never enough to write down the words, never by kermit, and never enough to memorise them. but it always made me misty eyed.

what’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing?

suddenly it was the internet era, and the lyrics were available. i scribbled them down, and kept them. not on my bedside table, but in a pile of papers that have poems, quotes, and other comments.

and the internet era marched down, and it was a wonderful day when i could download kermit’s voice, singing the rainbow connection. the tears started dropping then. the simplicity of the song, of kermit’s voice, the hope that we’re not alone in dreaming.

the infertility era. most of that was pretty angry music. a lot of exercising and boxing. but after each iui or ivf, i rubbed my stomach and sang "the rainbow connection". personalised my dream.

it’s something that i’m supposed to be

my friend youtube gave me a great gift the other day, and obviously not just me judging from the number of comments and hits it gets:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thEiXbovv98

call us children of the 80’s, but there is no way you can tell me that justin timberlake or the dixie chicks or absolutely anyone sings this song better than wistful kermit. simple, unaffected kermit. it’s not easy being green, or infertile, or lonely, or whatever your challenge is, but this song makes you feel you’re not alone, and your dream is possible. it’s not a song about power, it is a simple song about hope and encouragement.  a timeless song.

this is a song i would want played at my funeral. this is a song i want my kids to know.  this is a song i am teaching them.

dreams keep changing as we keep aging.

someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.