"not everyone is going to find your son as enchanting as you do".
this statement was calmly spoken to me across the lunchtable. i was seven months pregnant with sebastian, and the author of the sentence is a good friend, with children in their teens. i had asked her for some parenting advice, and she had passed over the typical stuff about treasuring each moment, and came out with this bombshell.
not everyone was going to find my little, $10,000 illegal immigrant completely captivating? the thought seemed impossible, but if my friend said so, i was willing to listen further. i leaned forward, (thus enabling myself to grab another breadstick from the basket), and requested that she share more.
"when your baby becomes a toddler, you will go to a restaurant. and he will pull himself up and be staring at the person at the table behind him. maybe trying to start a conversation. or passing toys, paper, crayons, who knows. some people may find that enchanting, but the majority will be very content to have a small conversation with him, and then are going to expect you to keep him away from them."
although mild protests about it taking a village were swirling around in my head, i did see the sense in the comment. and i was the first to admit (and still am), that although i like kids, and find them fascinating, there are times when i don’t want to be interacting with them.
apparntly, 92 percent of the population agrees with me. 92 per cent? that is the number of positive letters that airtran airlines has received since their 22 january forced removal of elly (the princess) and her parents, julie and gerry.
the parents handled the incident the way they thought best, and let’s face it, not all of us are at our best when there are glowering observers, all with advice at the ready. but to misquote bon jovi (and who doesn’t?) folks like them, who give all the power to a three year old, "give parents a bad name." i have worked my j-lo off trying to get my kids to understand boundaries, the ramifications of choices and all about obeying authority figures. it’s not easy, but i do it. because they need to learn, for so many reasons.
apparently julie and gerry, who contacted the press to make them aware of what they considered air tran’s horrific and underserving actions, are stunned at the public’s support of the airline’s action and public comments about how their daughter (who probably is a perfectly nice little girl), deserved to be thrown from the flight for "being such a brat" (cnn’s words, not mine).
obviously, julie and gerry were never given the nugget of advice i received, and have never forgotten since that day i first heard it in 2001 ~ not everyone will find your child as enchanting as you do.
Reader interactions
4 Replies to “throw baby from the plane?”
I, obviously, have no children, so I don’t know how horribly hard it can be to get a child to bend to my will to behave when I need the child to behave. I have, however, many years of au pair experience under my belt, and understand that this child was old enough to have been taught to “know better.”
That said, I have to say, I would have been shocked to see them denied the flight, but relieved that I didn’t have to experience an entire flight with the behavior that was exhibited.
I experienced a flight not that long ago in which a mother of triplets, could not sit with all of her children to comfort them at landing, and seemed to be short another adult to help. The screams were headache inducing and painful to my ears. It was excruciating painful to witness and experience. She had more children than she could soothe, and didn’t appear to have any tools (bottles, breast, pacifiers) for the children to suck on to relieve ear pressure. What was she thinking? I felt for her, but couldn’t help her as I was rows ahead, and seat-belt signs were on for the imminent landing. We endured it together – because we had to.
That was the end of a flight. If it had started that way and continued, I think there would have been some very frustrated passengers, to say the least – or it could have become dangerous and people became more upset. The flight crew made a decision for the group as a whole. If it started that poorly, it seems to me that is would be unlikely to get better any time soon.
I watched the mother being interviewed, and the daughter being quite lovely. I have a feeling, though, that she really was fearful of experiencing the ear pain of a previous flight, and that the experience on that flight while in a “pitching a fit” mode would have been far worse for her long term psyche than the delay that the parents experienced.
They were compensated for their delay (as I understand it), were offered free tickets for another trip, and yet they still feel that it was an egregious act that they were denied boarding.
The mother attempted to defend her daughter’s behavior because of a phobia. YET, by delaying their flight, her child calmed down and they proceeded without incident. Doesn’t sound like a phobia to me. Sounds like a parent who lost control.
It happens. It doesn’t need to be national media event. Be happy about the compensation (FREE.TRAVEL!!!) and move on.
And start to set better limits with your child – children like to know what is expected of them.
(Who knew I had so much to say!)
I appreciated this post! Thanks!
Nicole
Pretty much the reason I have not travelled by air or bus only but 2 times since my kids were little!! We will be flying to Hawaii in March but I think everything will be okay…at least with my 2 monsters being 15 and 11 now.
I feel terrible saying it but I hate an unhappy child in an enclosed space…that is what Gravol is for!!!!
That was great advice your friend gave you and I think that I will pass it on!!
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