despite mourning the loss of my team being uncermoniously removed from the amazing race monday evening, i met a friend for coffee yesterday. she works in sales and marketing for a beauty company and is quite high up in the austral-asia region.
we are friendish, and she has pursued the relationship, which intrigues me because when we are together she doesn’t laugh or smile a lot at anything i say. she’s a very attractive girl, vietnamese, with pale skin and these days, long hair with a fringe.
i confessed about the addition of face cream to my cabinet and she looked up at me and deadpan and said, "how do you think i feel? since i was a little girl, my mother told me not to smile too much or i would get lines. so i don’t smile."
can you imagine not smiling for fear of getting laugh lines? trading in beauty for joy? yes, you can let your eyes laugh, but this girl’s eyes are often sad. what else did her mum tell her i wonder? what else did she sacrifice for beauty?
i was collecting sebastian from school later on in the day and as he galloped down the stairs he was waving a white envelope in the air. i realised they were his school pictures! how wildly exciting! we followed what many other mums were doing: we quickly sat down and examined them, picture after picture of smiling sebastian. idential images. we looked at the class photo.
it was warm outside, the sun shining down. as sebastian’s little finger tapped each classmate and he said, "he’s a friend, he’s a friend, she’s a friend and she’s at my table, she’s a friend…" i wondered,
in a world like this, with a life like mine, how can we not get lines? with the sun on my shoulders, the child that causes my heart to contract with anxiety smiling and relaxed in my arms as he determines that today, everyone in his class is his friend, when i am surrounded by people who care for me, how can i not grin and be glad for my world?
i will continue to slap on the face cream, a reactive non-cure to my lines – and God and my perspective willing, i will not stop smiling.
Reader interactions
7 Replies to “”
I can’t believe they are gone either. That was my team, too. v. sad.
When I was a teenager I read a book my stepmother gave me, George Masters wrote it I think? anyhow, in it he recommends not smiling or frowning, to prevent lines. clearly I have not followed his advice–at 30 I’m already creased!
What a sad world it would be if we were all afraid to laugh for fear of lines on our face. I am very proud of my laugh lines, they show I have had joy in my life.
I love to laugh and have many lines to show my “creases of life”.. but on the same hand..
Thank God for Botox 🙂
(personal thoughts only)
you have such a gorgeous, infectious smile. the world would be lessened without it. keep smiling.
If she has all that hair she could always wear it in an exaggerated over-the-face style and no one would know if she was laughing or see laugh lines. The downside is that it makes it difficult to eat without getting hair in your soup etc.
Love to all…..Dad
Sorry for your loss. Should we send flowers or something?
Thank you for this post I am back from maternity leave after discovering “chicken skin” on my chest as well as very distinct crows feet these past few months i am only 29.
your post made me cry a little and then smile as i sit at my desk thinking of how poignantly bitter sweet life is… loss of a potential career and achievment while still being a working mom and my little angels at home that make life more worth while than i often allow myself to admit.
Once again thanks