some feedback regarding my first week of blogging has revealed that people are interested in my celebrity slams, but not nearly as much as they are interested in the triplet topics.

fair enough. i can accept audience feedback. so did the producers of ER. originally, the lovely julianna marguiles (carol hathaway) was meant to be on the show for one episode, commit suicide, then never be seen again. but the test audience loved her, so she stayed, and proceeded to win george’s heart and ours.

if i had to feel guilty about something today, it would be that i cant carpe diem.

i spent a lot of my time not enjoying the “stage” the wee three are at. even though this is an incredibly sweet, responsive and alert stage, i am always waiting with three mental checklists of age appropriate accomplishments: tracking, rolling, grabbing, responding, etc. at each appointment the doctor runs through a huge list of things jazzy-j, see-see and carys have achieved…and its important to be accurate in my answers.

because the chances of developmental delays are so likely for sela, carys and jasper, i can’t enjoy what they’re doing. i worry about what they should be doing. i wish i didn’t. i wish i trusted God more.

i do trust God with their lives, but i am still anxious about the fine tuning.

of the babies, (masive) jasper is ahead in a few of the physical activities. he rolls over from front to back and from back to front. carys can’t roll over front to back because she doesn’t weigh enough to get enough momentum to flip. all jasper has to do is lift one of his meaty legs and he’s there. sela can roll over, but it isn’t a big priority for her. i think she thinks she has hair, and doesn’t want to mess it up.

all three babies are very alert. jasper sees a person and looks to their hands, checking if they are carrying a bowl of sweet potato that is to be spooned into his excema surrounded mouth. carys sees a person and her drooling mouth (it’s typical for preemies not to have good “drool control”) breaks into a heartwarming grin. sela sees a person and turns her head sideways and down, and then smiles, and looks up. if they look away, she begins trick acting so they will look and admire her again.

yet they are not opening their hands well, reaching fast enough, carys can’t eat solids, her head is still tilted, they’re arching their back just like the PT said they might, still have the wrong or slowed reflexes, jasper’s eyes…is that sweet potato in them or is the ROP making them cloudy, carys might have CP and does have torticollus, i must watch carefully to see signs of improvement or delay to report back to the doctors….

we recently learned that sebastian is hearing impaired in his right ear. sebastian walked and talked very late in the game. at the time, i wondered why. now i realise it might have been to prepare me. so that when the wee three are delayed in reaching developmental milestones, i can look at busy, bouncing, happy, friendly, talking sebastian and realise chances are, it will be well. and if its not, as in the case of sebastian’s right ear, it will still be pretty amazing.