charles and camilla are getting married. that is pretty much the big news in phuket. poolside opinion is disapproving. not because they don’t think that camilla and charles should be legally wed, but because they feel it somehow dishonours princess diana’s memory.

i have noticed that the press of late is dropping comments that attempt to question princess diana’s mental state. if she was paranoid, isn’t that understandable? who knows anything at 20? much less how to take on the royal family? i think the press, which is famous for licking up to hollywood celebrities and not mentioning their obvious nose jobs, crap acting, drug addictions, is extending their tongues to the "royal" family. diana isn’t able to defend herself, so let’s stay on QU2’a best side.

as for camilla and charles (not the magnificent one, thank you very much…i’d like to see her try and get my man), i say, go ahead and get married. they deserve to be happy. i wish they had gotten married 30 years ago. imagine all the pain that could have been avoided if that was the case.

now, on to harry. what he’s doing right now, is it that bad? why is he getting trashed for underage drinking when lindsay lohan is regularly photographed with drinks (and men) in her hand and no one says anything?? okay the costume thing wasn’t his smartest move, but really, if he was anything but a prince (and a fairly fun one it seems) would he be getting this hassle? leave the kid alone.

COMPETITIVE WIN LOSE OR DRAW PLAYERS take note: choose me first. yesterday, with only the aid of an etch a sketch, i managed to communicate to the staff at the restaurant that i needed to borrow eight steak knives (we had a barbie on the terrace, really good stuff), AND wanted salad dressing for eight. i was a UN representative without the translators.

and today, i had the highlight of the trip thus far. mum and i were at tesco, buying some stuff, and decided to check out another shopping area called central. (not the district, that is in hong kong). so, i called over a tuk tuk driver and asked him how much.

100 baht he said.

you’ve got to be kidding! i told him.

no, 100 baht. i wait here a very long time.

50 baht.

but two people, 100 baht

it doesn’t matter how many people, the distance is still the same.

he was smiling and we were having fun, but i knew he was holding out for a longer distance. so he looked at mum and me, she’s in a dress and sandals and yes, that is lipstick you see on her face…coral to match her shoes…. and me. my hair is in a ponytail, t-shirt, flip flops stolen from pam (but really worth stealing, they are great), and a loose pair of sweats.

he smiles again, he has a great smile this guy.

you take motorcycle?

i look at mum.

it’s up to you darling, the coral mouth says

how much?

40 baht.

each? or together.

together.

yes!

he called the motorcycle over, and the cyclist shimmied up, mum rode sidesaddle, and i perched on the back. surprisingly, my arse did not hang over the edge of the cycle…possibly my j.lo isn’t as huge as i think it is???

and it was a great 5 minute ride. i felt so happy, and holiday-ish, and part of thailand. i have seen blue water, i have felt soft forgiving wind in my face, i have slept with my head against a cool pillow for 10 hours , talked with my husband in the quiet dark while gekko’s run past us… but this was the best part of the holiday for me. zooming, swerving, feeling hair escape from my ponytail to whip against my face. seeing other tourists and locals smiling benevolently, knowing my mother has never done this before and will have this experience to take home with her. it was massively wonderful.