last year when we went to Dumaguete we met a very interesting gentleman at the Resort we were staying at.

He was an elderly gentleman, tall, and didn't mind that the kids screetched around the grassy area in front of the beach, which was so close to his cottage. he sat on his terrace and smoked a great deal, and said "good morning" to us or "good evening" as we returned from camp, all dirty and sweaty.

just like thailand, the philippines attracts all types, so i was fairly careful with the kids roaming too near his cottage. but soon i got to chatting with him, and my parents did too, and then charles gave him the okay. he was a very present figure, sitting there in his netted terrace, smoking and reading and drinking drinks from the kitchen that the staff delivered because they all liked him so much.

there were of course, women who would have loved to have been his companion, beautiful women of all ages. he didn't entertain in that way, the hotel employees informed us. he was kind, but didn't invite people into his room. and didn't go out much.

quite early on, i stopped to thank him for being so patient with the kids. we started talking. like many seniors, he was visiting the philippines looking at possible retirement sites. you can live extremely comfortably in the Philippines for less than $1000 US per month. This gentleman was checking areas of the Philippines for a permanent home. he was a pleasant man, but he didn't seem to have a lot of life in him. i wondered if he was ill.

Other members of our team began chatting with him as well. Slowly, his story began to come out.

He was a widower from the Southern States. (He did tell me but this is the internet and I don't want to be too specific) He had been married for many years. After a long bout with cancer, his wife had died. There were no living children. It had been a hard life, but a good one. He missed his wife and was travelling, looking for a place to spend his remaining decades.

One day, towards the end of our visit, I was standing talking to him while I held Sela, who had come up to show me a shell of some sorts. Some of the younger team members came by and joined our chat. Everyone liked him and knew him. He was so gracious and kind.

The sun was setting, the camp was almost over, we were all in a pretty good mood. We were asking the gentleman how his search for a place he liked was coming along. One of the young adults commented, "it shouldn't be hard….you're in paradise!"

The gentleman looked up at the speaker, and unconsciously (I think) touched his wedding ring. Then he looked at me, and smiled and said, "No. What I had was paradise."

There was nothing really left to say except to thank him for the reminder. That no matter where we are, if we are not loved, and able to love in return, we have nothing.

I would like to think he would be one of the five people I would meet in heaven, if such a concept existed.