psycho kids or snorers?

not that i am particularly fond of 75% of my offspring at the moment (3/4 woke up at 3.30am all perky and excited and loud wanting to go swimming and kayaking…where do they think we are, canada?) but i do feel the need to defend them.

on the way back to hong kong, we were upgraded. all of us. steve miller, the owner of oasis, proved that he cares less about profits and more about kindness by upgrading all of us. the business class section of the plane also includes the first class section of the plane, which has the 180 degree seats, but the same service/food as business class.

there were 13 seats in the first class section, we consumed eight of them.

when i saw the faces of my fellow travellers i simultaneously felt embarrassed, uncertain, and defiant. my kids are pretty good travellers…usually? they would be fine..wouldn’t they? no need to look so angry.

the man behind us, who had also been upgraded, got up and complained to the stewardess. our kids were going to ruin his "flight experience" or something. he demanded that he be moved. but the only other seats in business class were next to infants (HA! HA HA HA!) and he decided he would rather stick it out with our kids.

the flight left at 6.15pm. for the first two hours, our kids were kids. they exclaimed over books, meals, talked back and forth to each other, to us, and were happy. there were no tears. there was jasper, thinking his personal reading light was a microphone and singing, but it wasn’t annoying whinging kids stuff. there was masses of space between us and the other passengers (we were in the first two rows), and they did not address them. we didn’t let them run in the aisles unless they were going to and from the bathroom.

after the meal, the lights turned out, and within 30 minutes, jasper, sela and carys were asleep. sebastain lasted longer, enthralled with superman returns. but the youngest three slept until the cabin lights were turned on.

our complaining friend found it quiet enough to get some sleep, and began snoring. our fellow passengers looked at him, and each other. this guy was LOUD! lita and i could barely snooze he was so loud.eventually i slept with the music channel on, but i mean really, how dare he complain about my family while lights were on, when during the time lights were off and we were meant to be sleeping, he was sawing more logs than leonardo dicaprio mentions in the eleventh hour?

at the end of the flight the other four people congratulated me on the behaviour of our kids, as did the flight crew. not mr grumpy.

i didn’t let him ruin my upgrade though. i had forgotten how nice those 180 degree seats are. i will write a review of oasis’ hong kong-vancouver-hong kong flight soon, but to sum it all up – economy is just as good as air canada, the service is as well, food is airline food (never going to be fantastic, and we don’t expect it to be), and the price is about half of an air canada flight. and the departure times are brilliant. i would go with oasis and will do so again. we had no problem with our economy flight.

don’t snorers, by the time they are in their late 40’s, know that they snore?

our plane landed a few hours ago.

yes, we are back in hong kong.

it is 12.51am, (NOT noon, we’re talking just past midnight here) and the kids are scrambling around, eating kraft dinner (the summer hiatus obviously did not make me a better mother), and reciting shrek three, which is one movie they all like (seb is disdainful about high 5).

it was a great summer. some mornings the kids would say, "what are we going to do?" but it would be in a questioning way, not a whingy one. there is a difference. and if i didn’t have an answer (say i was devouring the latest harry potter book, which i did and will happily review for you…personally i thought it was too complicated given what we already know) i would just throw freezies at them and they would jump in the water and eat dye coloured frozen water.

quickly, my highlight probably was either visiting a used book store where all the books were 50 cents canadian (!!) or seeing a pack of deer, (how boring am i?) and sebastians was sleeping in a camper/trailer. it belongs to friends of ours who were staying the night, and sebastian, jasper, sela and carys were convinced that the trailer was "magic".  why magic? because it folded out from a box, and made a HOUSE. they sat on the lawn and watched the trailer unfold, freezies left to melt at their sides. (frugal blake was horrified at this blatant waste of resources, and tried to refreeze them). our friends took pity on sebastian, who begged to be allowed to sleep in the trailer and asked if he would like to, "oh yes!" he was so hyper…yet he settled down, and the next morning gulped down three waffles and said it was his best memory ever.

some classic lines….

carys to sela: you’re not my sister, jj is my brother and sebastian is my brother but you’re not my sister.

later that day:

sela to carys: i love you carys (sincerely she says this)

carys to sela, equally as sincerely: i love to too, "donkeh" (said in her best shrek voice).

it is good to be home. more soon.

More pics @ Chuck’s

Poor Jasper hates eating broccoli, but you can see much cuter cottage pictures of us in Canada over at Charles’ blog!

We’re at Fintry

the weather our first two weeks here was terrible… cold and overcast with occasional rain. now things are much better. you can get regular updates and pictures over at Charles’ blog. below the trips hang off the dock while sebastian takes a nap.

so, have you seen any good movies lately?

on wednesday night i invited magnificent out on a date.

he accepted.

the date had one provisio.

we could not, from the moment he picked me up to the moment he dropped me off at the door, talk about children. ours or anyone else’s, unless they were over the age of 16.

too often it is easy to be mummy and daddy instead of husband and wife. with two weeks separation looming between magnifcent and myself, i didn’t want him to forget he is married to a somewhat hot tamale who has more to report than what his genetic matter did throughout the day.

we had a great time. when i told a girlfriend of my plot, she was nonplussed. "what do you think you will talk about?" she inquired.

plenty. i assured her. it wasn’t going to be all what had to be accomplished before stepping on the plane, although that list is long and varied, but i knew that there were other things to talk about. magnificent and me, we still got it.

he asked me some interesting questions. "what websites do you visit? why?" he noted that i don’t go on websites to make friends, more to help. we talked tentative plans about the next year, plans of our own, how we want to celebrate surviving the seven year itch. how we define being happily married. how we’re going to have more dates like this, because,

it was a great date.

a couple of times, we erred. talking about friends of ours who live in our building, i said recklessly, "jasper loves singing ABC’s to their little girl" and mc looked at me blankly and said, "who is jasper?" and at another time, he made a similar error and i sighed, took my feet off his lap (we were at an outdoor restaurant), put them back in my sandals and said, "and i was having such a nice time."

we shared dishes, had fun, and it was a nice date.

and though i was planning on giving him a big smooch in the car, first with seatbelts on, and then off, the ever present security guard thwarted those plans. but hey, that’s what lifts are for.

why i am sad

lita and de are leaving our family.

this is extremely sad news.

i found this out in may, right before the walk to emmaus. it is typical of satan to throw bad news at you right before any type of spiritual retreat, and as i was a team member, to decrease my effectiveness.

the minute lita told me she and de would be leaving, i burst into tears. i am not a cryer. we have established that. but i cried and cried and cried. my kids! no one could love them as much as lita does. what about sela, who loves lita probably more than she loves me? selfishly, i cried for the loss of my life. no one would be able to step in and run the house like lita and de do. no one. my freedom.

i immediately called two girlfriends, and got online, where friends who are in similar situations were full of love and sympathy. poor kids, poor you. yes.

it is so sad.

the one good piece of news in all of this is lita is not leaving because we have done anything wrong, she is leaving because of HER and her family. lita is moving to canada to become a nanny. in two years time, she will be able to apply for permanent residency and bring her family over.

of course, this means she will not be able to see de and her daughter for three years. three years.

i don’t know how she will do it.

but she will, because she is looking at the bigger picture.

she is moving to calgary, to work for a family expecting twins.

agencies in canada don’t charge the families very much for the matching service, but lita is paying for her own ticket, her own medicals (you know how much bloodtests are), all the visa and immigration stuff, and of course there are things like coats and boots and cold weather stuff she is going to need once she gets to cold calgary.

i admire her so much. as much as i love when charles nips away and i get the whole house to myself for three or four days and can eat as many black olives as i want and crack my toes in bed without having to admit how disgusting i am, three years without charles? and three years without my kids? i can’t say i couldn’t do it, because i could. i would.

unlike china, in the philippines these days, parents are thrilled if they have a daughter. daughters = wage earners. sons, not so much. (de is one of the exceptions to the rule.)

so lita is leaving us. we have told the kids, but the don’t really comprehend it. lita and de are all they know, they are our family.

we have another couple coming in to work for us, and i have to trust God that it will work out. and that if it doesn’t, i will have the courage to say, "this isn’t working out".

lita starts her new job 1 october. i am making her take holidays in september so she can go back to the philippines and spend some time with baby melissa (who will be turning three) and de, who will not come back at the end of that time.

so that is why i am sad. for her sacrifice, for my kids loss, for my loss.

it is just so sad, and she is just so noble. i look at her and watch her and i tear up.

right now i am happy

right now my thermostat is registering happy.

this is surprising, given that i have a deadline snapping at my heels, other concerns, a trip to plan for and news that is causing me real sorrow.

in fact i wanted to name today’s blog "right now i am sad" but i couldnt, because amidst the sad stuff, i have happiness, and contentment so overriding the sorry bits that i wanted to write about the good stuff.

friends.

today i said goodbye to odila for the summer. yesterday the kids were on the playground playing "odila and joel", this game goes like this: cast of odila, husband joel, dog carlota and daughter alice or anna. and if you are odila (and everyone wants to be) you get to say "oba!" and pretend to wear lipstick and if you are daughters alice/anna you can kiss mummy and if you are uncle joel you can give high fives and pretend to take pictures and go to the office and, well, you’re smart people, figure out what carlota does.

but it was just nice to see her for five minutes before she jets off for london and then rio.

it’s tough being the last woman standing in hong kong. it’s the first time this has ever happened to me. usually we lead the exodus. but this year we’re only taking four weeks, and it’s tough watching everyone leave and having your weekly events cancelled because no one is here.

and then sandi came to cut jude and sebastian’s hair. they of course loved it, and i read them a book while sandi snipped away, and we chatted about the watoto children’s choir (SEE IT!) and other non sequeters. sandi leaves on the 12th for shanghai (i think, you know with her it is hard to tell) and a few other places. i need her perspective. she’s that bit older than me, she knows what is important and these days, as she is suddenly my kids greatest advocate, she is quick to inform me, "this is a good life. keep it that way." and she’s going to teach me to play mahjong.

friends. holding my hands, holding me close, letting me go, watching me grow. 

re-reading this i make it sound like friends are parents, but in expat situations, friends really are the family you choose. these are the people we consult about schools, where to shop, vacation, we pool knowledge, experiences, we join together on family holidays to prevent sadness.

we have a playdate at denby’s wednesday, which will be good. shredded soul needs the friends and thank goodness tara and katie are still here.

GET THEM OUT OF AFGHANISTAN, and you out of ottawa

when stephen harper became canada’s prime minister, he upgraded canada’s peacekeeping mission in afghanistan. he visited the troops in afghanistan, assured them he was behind them (a far far distance behind them) stressed that the mission was shifting from peacekeeping to warmaking, and reinforced that the troops were committed to afghanistan for the long haul.

the 60 canadians who have died since canada entered afghanistan in 2002 never got the opportunity to be in this war for the long haul did they, mr harper? or even this life.

in the past 72 hours, six canadian soldiers were killed in afghanistan.

corporal jordan anderson, of edmonton’s 3rd battalion, princess patricia’s canadian light infantry, was a yellowknife boy.

corporal cole bartsch was a good friend of my sister’s.

and although i have no personal connection to this family, my heart breaks for five-month-old vienna bason, whose father, master cpl colin bason, died in the vehicle bombing as well.

capt. jefferson francis, capt. matthew dawe, and pte. lane watkins, round out the six who were killed.

col jon vance, safe in edmonton, said, "the families are well aware that there is a debate in this mission. no matter what your opinion is, these soldiers are working on behalf of all Canadians. they are pursuing a mission they believe in and, in fact, to the reasonably well-informed, has demonstrated some progress."

what is attempt to link my opinion to the soldiers are working on behalf of all canadians?  nice wordsmithing attempt. yes, it is true being in their army was their chosen profession, the soldiers aren’t there because of automatic conscription. they chose to carry guns, and to many in afghanistan, if you’re carrying a gun, you don’t represent peace. but don’t make these soldiers into further pawns, all right?

moving on, what debate on the mission could that be?

1) these soldiers are working on behalf of all canadians.

because the government believes they are better off in afghanistan with poorly equipped vehicles known as nyalas? this isn’t the first time canadian soldiers were killed in similar attacks….remember trooper mark andrew wilson?

2) has demonstrated some progress.

their justification as to why the mission has demonstrated some progress? because the taliban folk are now using roadside bombs.

yes, two canadians, brig-general tim grant and lt-col jean trudel, chief of staff for the national command element of joint task force afghanistan, said the growing use of ied’s suggests a loss of control by the taliban.

let’s not forget that the use of those roadside bombs, as desperate a sign as it may be, have claimed 19 of the 22 lives of the canadian soldiers killed this rotation. but ever the optimist, grant said,

"Clearly they have managed to kill six great young Canadians today which is an absolute tragedy, but the other parts of this is that they are killing lots of Afghans," brig-general tim grant said.

so we’re supposed to be happy that the taliban is so desperate they’re using bombs that are killing greater number of canadians? government, stop while you can.

the aim of this peacekeeping mission was to win the hearts and minds of the afghan people. thanks to a variety of reasons i am not "reasonably well informed" enough to describe, i can’t tell you. but here are some websites. some articles written by journalists "over there". others by the government themselves. read what the government is doing, or hasn’t done.

has canada’s presence in afghanistan made a difference?

on days like today, i have to say only to the families and friends of the 60 soliders who won’t be coming home. when canada finally packs up and leaves, will the taliban be completely wiped out? gone forever? will all the hearts be won, 100%

when people, especially the young die, in war related causes, it tends to make people hesitant to question the war (or pseudo peace keeping). questioning why they died does not make these six men, the 60 canadians who have died in afghanistan, any less heroic.

i cannot say the same for their country, for my country, canada, and that fills me with deep deep sorrow.

http://sandwalk.blogspot.com/search/label/War

http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?ItemID=10224

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2007/06/20/afghan-nato.html

http://mostlywater.org/node/6306

Canada must move quickly to assist the Afghan people with food, shelter, and medical ….. institutions has rendered Afghanistan a failed state. …
www.cmi.no/pdf/?file=/afghanistan/doc/CCHS_Bulletin-Afghanistan_Jan_2007.pdf –

http://sandwalk.blogspot.com/search/label/War

purple eye shadow

these last few days have been really tough for jasper. his breathing has been really laboured, short gasps during sentences, and at night, when sleeping he is taking about 70 breaths per minute. this is not good, and i am getting him up twice a night for treatment.

his eyes have little purple shadows under them and he is miserable. if we didn’t have the song "i am a pizza" to distract him with, he would be completely bereft.

he perked up the other day at the mvoies, and he is well enough to fight against broccoli and other such invasive foods that land on his plate, but really, jasper is just not a well boy these days. it’s not the pollution, it is his lungs doing this to him.

i don’t think i would be so overwhelmed if it wasn’t day two of school holidays and already i am wondering why teachers need such long school holidays. forget that frugal blake was the executive director of the northwest territories teacher association for 20 years, i just need my kids teachers to go back to school and take over for a few (5) hours a day. and if they wanted to make meals and teach them manners, i wouldn’t object to that either.