lita and de are leaving our family.

this is extremely sad news.

i found this out in may, right before the walk to emmaus. it is typical of satan to throw bad news at you right before any type of spiritual retreat, and as i was a team member, to decrease my effectiveness.

the minute lita told me she and de would be leaving, i burst into tears. i am not a cryer. we have established that. but i cried and cried and cried. my kids! no one could love them as much as lita does. what about sela, who loves lita probably more than she loves me? selfishly, i cried for the loss of my life. no one would be able to step in and run the house like lita and de do. no one. my freedom.

i immediately called two girlfriends, and got online, where friends who are in similar situations were full of love and sympathy. poor kids, poor you. yes.

it is so sad.

the one good piece of news in all of this is lita is not leaving because we have done anything wrong, she is leaving because of HER and her family. lita is moving to canada to become a nanny. in two years time, she will be able to apply for permanent residency and bring her family over.

of course, this means she will not be able to see de and her daughter for three years. three years.

i don’t know how she will do it.

but she will, because she is looking at the bigger picture.

she is moving to calgary, to work for a family expecting twins.

agencies in canada don’t charge the families very much for the matching service, but lita is paying for her own ticket, her own medicals (you know how much bloodtests are), all the visa and immigration stuff, and of course there are things like coats and boots and cold weather stuff she is going to need once she gets to cold calgary.

i admire her so much. as much as i love when charles nips away and i get the whole house to myself for three or four days and can eat as many black olives as i want and crack my toes in bed without having to admit how disgusting i am, three years without charles? and three years without my kids? i can’t say i couldn’t do it, because i could. i would.

unlike china, in the philippines these days, parents are thrilled if they have a daughter. daughters = wage earners. sons, not so much. (de is one of the exceptions to the rule.)

so lita is leaving us. we have told the kids, but the don’t really comprehend it. lita and de are all they know, they are our family.

we have another couple coming in to work for us, and i have to trust God that it will work out. and that if it doesn’t, i will have the courage to say, "this isn’t working out".

lita starts her new job 1 october. i am making her take holidays in september so she can go back to the philippines and spend some time with baby melissa (who will be turning three) and de, who will not come back at the end of that time.

so that is why i am sad. for her sacrifice, for my kids loss, for my loss.

it is just so sad, and she is just so noble. i look at her and watch her and i tear up.