deviled egg

no massive surprise, i didn’t do too well in physics as an aspiring ambitious student.

but surely there is a forum which explains why as my life gets busier my kids get sicker.

surely not! you exclaim, slack jawed in disbelief.

no, its true.

today, right after naps, i am trying to put together a comprehensive grocery list while unpacking the items i brought to the funeral yesterday and repacking my bag for tonight, when jasper comes running towards me, exclaiming the by now tired statment, "sela did a poo". he begins coughing and i brush past him, heading towards my shoes, hoping that everyone else will put on their shoes. that is, IF they want to come to park and shop with me.

instead, jasper stops running, stands there, opens his mouth and vomits.

vomits.

there is no reason for this vomit. no bug he has caught, no choke, no nothing. but there you go. vomit.

disinfectant, rags, water. wipe scrape, clean between wood.

it is amazing.

not the vomit.

please, i am so over being stunned by bodily functions that any of my kids make that i could be in the middle of eating cereal, and if jasper vomitted, i would probably keep on eating. i AM SO OVER THAT.

but the timing. amazing. impressive.

they just can’t vomit when i’m bored, can they.

or won’t.

ear appointments went interestingly yesterday. thank you for the inquiring emails. the kids are pretty good in doctors offices.

the problem is with ears, is that ear drums are protected by ear wax.

the problem with ear wax is you aren’t supposed to use cotton buds in your ears. and there really is no effective way to remove ear wax without a medical personnel’s intervention and a $100us per child fee afterwards.

yesterday, the doctor looked at jasper and sela’s ears and declared them too full of ear wax to do anything with."too full of wax" he stated. i had the grace to look shamefaced even though i know this is not my fault. but it also gets me wondering….the last doctor i took them to didn’t think the wax was a problem. did this massive wax build up just arrive in a surplus special or did the last dr ignore it or??? apparently little lulu’s ears weren’t so bad and so we did a little hearing test on her which proved that her tube from nose to ear is blocked, not the middle ear, as previously thought.

why is it impossible to get the doctors to agree? instead of feeling like we got somewhere, i feel like we know the kids have an allergy, and instead of furthering testing for a drug, they are exploring a whole new drug. and the allergy is getting worse and worse.

so i am feeling disconcerted. my kids are walking around with bad hearing and no answers as to how we can definitely improve it, and these eggshells i am stepping on are feeling pretty trembly. i just want to help them.

despite the surreal fact that over the next days charles will be visiting three countries (australia, japan and india), life is as normal as it gets. on occasion, jasper will look at sela and say, "poor georgi!" and then carys, remembering, will say, "sela did a poo in her knickers!" sela of course, gets incensed at this propoganda and then screams OVER her siblings "YESTERDAY! I DID A POO IN MY KNICKERS YESTERDAY!"

if they keep haranguing her, she begins sobbing.

it seems to me that my kids cry more than other children.

some people say, "that’s because you have four children. of course there are more tears." clever people give a mathematical name to the statistic or formula they use.

but i don’t mean that. i am not saying that there is more crying in my house than in other homes, i am saying that my children cry more than other children. per child. not overall.

the kiddies below us are twins. remember tallulah "lulah" and cade? and their baby sister roxie (or in jasper speak, "woxie"?) great. they never cry. believe me, i would know if they did, the walls and ceilings are not great in our building.

but they dont cry. ever.

it’s not as if my kids see me crying alot. possibly the crying is a retaliatory move, to repay me for not teaching them to cry. or i could be reading wayyyy too much into this.

it is halfway through november. it is getting frantic. it isn’t going to slow down until after chinese new year. have to say i am doing very well on Christmas present shopping, and that makes me v. pleased. i have gotten some great gifts chosen this year!

a friend of ours died last week of cancer. she was a beautiful, caring woman, with struggles, trials, loving friends and family and cancer that may have infected body, but despite it’s close proximity, never came close to her heart. she was an inspiration. i would like to see her now, healed at last, and i am already anticipating the day i will.

tomorrow jasper, carys and sela will be seeing an ent specialist to see if they need grommets put in. wish us luck. xo

that DEPENDS

this toilet training bizniz is not thrilling me. today sela did a poo at playgroup and her poor instructor georgi had to clean it up. it was so appalling that sela needed new shoes, pants, shirt and knickers. the only things i had thrown in her backpack were hand sanitiser (which i am sure georgi did appreciate, right??) and a fresh set of knickers. so my child comes home, and she is so cowed in the knowledge that her bowels had behaved badly, that she didn’t even remember to complain that she and her sister weren’t dressed alike.

when i saw that sela was wearing an entirely different outfit than the one she had left the flat in, several thoughts flashed through my mind:

1) maybe she got wet. yes, that’s it….wet.

2) maybe i forgot that she owns that shirt and i forgot that i dressed her in that outfit. happens to the best of us. it has been a v. busy week.

3) dread….(as simultaneously and possibly ironically, my bowels turned to water).

i didn’t need to ask, what happened of course, jasper and carys came running up to me.

"sela did a poo at ppa!"

and stupidly, naively and hopefully i inquired, "in the toilet?"

and they screamed happily, "no, in her knickers!"

and then, just a few minutes later, as i was despairing quietly, carys came running up to me…

"mummy, i did a poopers!"

"oh that’s just great." i said in a flat voice, and scanned the room looking for the evidence

"in the toilet!" she joyously declared.

and so she had.

let me do my own litmus test…does it seem too boring to share that i am already having to plan our summer holidays? yep, that’s boring.

did i mention that the kids have set up their own judicial review system? i guess they were finding hong kong’s one country two systems legal sytem even more befuddling than our local legislators do. the other night at the dinner table, sebastian sorrowfully (and reproachfully) mentioned in conversation that,

"annie is going to lita’s country for a holiday"

sela, who had not been giving the conversation her whole attention (we were serving green apple curry and sela is very attentive to anything with curry, plus it was her turn with the mickey mouse spoon), suddenly jerked her head up. and commenced bawling. the sela wail. epiglottis trembling, shrieking, grating cries.

what. on. earth. is. the. matter? i inquired gravely yet in a tone that suggested she was behaving inappropriately.

i didn’t find out right away, because all of a sudden, jasper laid down his spoon, pointed his finger and said, "straight to the bedroom, sela"

and carys, said, "no, give her a time out!"

and sebastian chimed in, "take away a toy"

these kids seem to believe that they make up a three person jury and are only too happy to dole out appropriate sentences to their peers. there is no solidarity.

yet they are very happy to have each other, because every person provides another scapegoat. for example, the other morning i wandered into their bedroom and smelt a very unwelcome and suspicous odour.

"carys, did you do a poopers in your nappy?"

and she looked right and me and said,

"maybe jayjay."

i turned to her brother, who was lying nearby.

"jasper, did you do a poopers in your nappy?"

"maybe sela."

another quarter turn.

"sela, did you do a poopers in your nappy?"

"maybe carys"

you notice how no one is answering the question, they are simply shrugging it on to the next person? i forget who the perp was, but i do remember that their siblings were very happy to inform me what the crime was and who had done it, like the evidence wasn’t visible to my eyes and nose. but no, i had to be told that "—- did a poopers in his/her nappy."

that’s usually around the time sebastian slopes into the room and says, "i nevah did a poopahs in my bobs, did i mummy?"

and i say, no you never did.

i’m a better boy than the triplets, aren’t i?

hardly.

not a very generous answer, is it?

in case you were wondering what sela was crying about that day at the table, she had thought that sebastian had said that LITA was going on a holiday. SELA is very much LITA’s favourite, and having LITA around makes SELA’s life much easier and happier. getting carried when the others have to walk, sort of thing. the thought of lita going, in sela’s words, "to the phil-pines" was enough to bring on the onslaught of tears, especially as lita had left the room when sebastian made the prophetic statement. i asked lita to come into the room, she did, calm was restored and sela apologised to her siblings.

i thought i was off crack

as you all are aware, young sebastian went to kindy when he was the tender age of 2.5. i popped him on the bus and he sat down, was bucked in and driven away, with adam at his side. we took photos and video that day, and i shed a few tears before racing upstairs to shove bottles into the three vomit-prone mouths that waited there.

today the triplets and their friend tallinn went to their first ever (besides the creche at church) parent or helper unsupervised event: teacher and toddler at the ppa. six kids, one teacher, two hours of playschool in a familiar, fun environment. hooray! i have been so excited thinking about this, wondering if they would cry, wondering how i would deal with it if they did cry, that i forgot to wonder if i would feel sentimental.

my mum asked me on the phone today how i felt about it, in a gentle voice. i squealed back, "ecstatic! can’t wait. i just wish they were all doing something at the same time." it would be ideal if the triplets could get into kindergarten with sebastian, but that is unlikely to happen, so these afternoon classes are the next best thing…and did i mention that a parent doesn’t have to be with them?

in introducing the kids to the concept of "school" i told them they could each wear a backpack, like the big kids do. they loved this idea. "but mummies don’t go to school" i explained. "just big kids".

once at the ppa, tallinn, sela, jasper, and carys hung up their backpacks and took off their shoes (which would soon go on again) and then raced over to the table and began playing with the playdough that was spread out there. after taking them for wees, tara and i looked at each other and realised it was time to go. we explained we were going, and the kids said, "see you later, mummy" and we walked out. they did not watch us leave.

having each other there made it easier for the four of them. and they are used to the ppa and love it there. so yay. but still, not even one of them could squeeze out a tear? a sob, even? whatever.

as we left, i realised i felt not sad, but odd. it felt odd to leave them. they were so grown up.

i love this independence they’re displaying, but this is a big step away from me. which is what i wanted. but, wow.

crack goes my heart, as i realise they are ready to explore alone, and are excited to do so. i am proud, excited, and sad.

maybe you are already aware of the story of dick and rick hoyt.

i wasn’t until this morning, when my mum, via my sister pam sent me the below link.

it is not father’s day, it is not family day, but we don’t need any excuse to celebrate love. the joy the hoyts must feel knowing they have tapped into a source of such joy for their son.  that they proved science wrong.

take five minutes of your life and read and watch the below link.

http://cjcphoto.com/can/

and the greatest of these is love.

just in time for the release of the new rocky movie, let’s harken back to the original. a fine movie.

remember when sly starts training in earnest? banging the frozen clumps of meat and climbing the city hall stairs? he’s a little out of shape, but he music continues…and then builds to a frenzy when he finally makes it to the top.

every inspirational movie has that moment when the music crescendoes. when the protagonist faces their fear, conquers their demon.

since two friends of sebastian’s have gotten stuck in the lift, he has been quite scared of lifts. he shushes us all when we get into the lift, somehow believing that loud talking will cause the lift to malfunction. the other day, when all six of team caldwell were in the lift and it did not move, the poor little button started trembling, and clinging to his dad. and shrieking. he was really scared. the shrieking annoyed me, but i was concerned for this developing phobia.

sometimes sebastian will play act….sometimes when i come to pick him up at school he sees me and calls, "mumma! mumma!" like he is a very little boy and then he rushes to me and clings to me. but i see in his eyes that he is playing around. but when we are in the lift, there is fear in his eyes, all the time.

so the other day we were at the peak, having a family lunch together. charles had returned home on the saturday and was leaving on monday, so we were spending some team caldwell time alone. we did our team caldwell cheer and had a lot of fun and maybe 17 trips to the bathroom. (but everyone weed, thank you very much and carys did a poopers in the toilet yesterday, what a girl!)

on the way to the car park, we pressed the lift button and when the doors opened, sela and carys went in first. charles and i had stopped to help jasper, who had tripped.

suddenly, the lift doors began to close.

and sebastian sprung into action. he shoved his way into the lift, pushed back the closing doors (which immediately opened) and searched for the door open (DO or <>) button, and pressed it.

charles and i were stunned. seb, scared of lifts? where was my trembling little boy? i had thought he would have gone into terrors. but instead he had jumped in, hurting himself while at it, because he didn’t want his sisters to get locked into the lift.

of course charles and i told him that he was a real life superhero and that we were very proud of him. we told him that he had saved his sisters from being very scared, and for that we were so grateful. later that day i made him a star that says, "I AM PROUD OF SEBASTIAN BECAUSE HE PROTECTED HIS SISTERS".

i have reminded him of the lift incident every single day since it happened. i want that to be a defining moment in his life. the other day, while on the playground, a kid started kicking sebastian’s head. i don’t want that to be a defining moment. going alone into a closing lift, sebastian’s worst fear, to protect his sisters, that’s defining.

i am so incredibly, overwhelmingly proud of him.

carys has not had wet knickers since i last wrote about them. this is very good news. she is even getting into the groove of doing several wees throughout the day, instead of two bladder busters a day. even better.

as i wrote before, the kids are tres supportive of their siblings toilet attempts. v.v supportive. we are having the whole discussion with sela (complete with feet stamping and tears) as to why she cant stand when she wees. friday i said, fine, try it (we were outside) and she was thrilled until she got her whole leg wet and then she was furious and of course lashings of tears followed. (it is all my fault).

but in the whole pictures are worth 1,000 words, i am going to shut up and let magnificent post a few winners taken over the summer that sum up the sibling interest in jasper’s outdoor plumbing abilities.

the other day sebastian and i walked through hong kong university.

he was very impressed with the concept of student life, and loved it that people kept buying him fizzy drinks and pressing packets of biscuits into his hand. a few took cell phone pictures of him. he didn’t mind, he was concentrating on opening the cellophane.

mummy, he inquired, between munches, do the students sleep here?

some of them, yes, i responded.

where, in the classrooms? he asked, in all sincerity.

i thought about some of the freakishly long naps i have had in three hour lectures and said, "sometimes it seems like it, but they have dorm rooms, that they either share with other students or have to them selves."

we stopped at the pillar of shame and we looked at it for a minute. i tried to explain the concept of tiannamen square to sebastian, but he didn’t understand why the government would want to kill students, why they were scared of students.

the policemen had guns, right mummy?

yes, they did.

and they killed people that didn’t have guns.

that’s right kitten, they did.

but why?

because they were scared, my darling.

but you said they didn’t have guns?

they didn’t, but they wanted to change what the government didn’t want to change.

the conversation could have gone on forever, but sebastian was busy looking at the pillar of shame, which has had a recent facelift. the brasses have been cleaned and the etching "PILLAR OF SHAME" is indented with red paint. it is very dramatic.

sebastian pointed out something i had never seen before. one of the tortured figures is carrying a child. we do not see the dying child’s face, we just see the adult pressing it to him, the adult’s mouth open and eyes unseeing.

mummy, why would the government kill a baby?

oh i don’t think they did, i think the artist was just exaggerating like when you say you need to do a wee RIGHT NOW and really you dont.

but that’s a baby. look. he looked very scared and worried.

i see honey. but really, no babies died those days in tiannamen square.

technically not, i suppose.

government killing children is one thing, but what about parents protecting their child? would i ever take my child to march for a cause to make a statement, knowing that children are more likely to get their picture in the paper, knowing that it might result in physical harm? would anyone? is the greater good bigger than that small life? my tiny tunnel vision says no.

i took sebastian’s picture by the pillar of shame, beside a small bouquet of flowers that had been thrown down beside the monument. after a moment of silence, we turned, walked through the thron of students who were sebastian;s age when the massacre in beijing occurred, and we walked home.

jay – way gay?

charles stumbled across a cambridge journal the other month that declared that second born boys are more likely to be homosexual than their elder brothers.

since that time, he has been rather unimpressed when jasper begs to wear a "very pitty dreth", wants his nails painted the same colour as his sisters are, or when he wanted to wear a bikini this summer.

i have no idea if jasper, or any of my kids are gay. but i don’t think jasper’s inclinations towards all things feminine (and there are several), indicate that he is homosexual. he’s got two sisters who get very excited when dresses are brought out. he knows dresses are causes for excitement and he wants to be part of the fun. the colours are bright, the fabric sparkly. and as for high heeled shoes, they go clomp clomp clomp on the floor and are what mummy wears.

i do let jasper out of the house wearing a clip in his hair. it looks really sweet and makes him very happy. i don’t let him wear a huge four centimetre hello kitty slide, but the discreet hair clip is a valued addition to his wardrobe. WHY NOT? he likes being like his sisters and mummy.

i don’t think i am encouraging him toward homosexuality by allowing him to wear dresses around the house or the rest of the stuff. i think if he is a homosexual, he is by birth.

the other day jasper really wanted to wear a dress outside. i said i didn’t have a problem with it. it was just down to the playground. "pleathe mummy!" said jasper appealingly. i looked at charles who was shaking his head no-no-no-no. "he wouldn’t be the first boy who ever wore a dress."

but magnificent held his ground and that was that. so fair enough. no dress, less stress for charles.

on the carys front..today she informed us she needed to do a wee…her first one of the day was at 10.55 and it was massive. she woke up from her nap with a wet nappy, but i put her in knickers anyway, and she got so caught up riding bikes that she weed all over herself. i didn’t take her upstairs to change, sort of a let her stew in her own juices theory. overall, i am very pleased at the progress.