the other day sebastian and i walked through hong kong university.

he was very impressed with the concept of student life, and loved it that people kept buying him fizzy drinks and pressing packets of biscuits into his hand. a few took cell phone pictures of him. he didn’t mind, he was concentrating on opening the cellophane.

mummy, he inquired, between munches, do the students sleep here?

some of them, yes, i responded.

where, in the classrooms? he asked, in all sincerity.

i thought about some of the freakishly long naps i have had in three hour lectures and said, "sometimes it seems like it, but they have dorm rooms, that they either share with other students or have to them selves."

we stopped at the pillar of shame and we looked at it for a minute. i tried to explain the concept of tiannamen square to sebastian, but he didn’t understand why the government would want to kill students, why they were scared of students.

the policemen had guns, right mummy?

yes, they did.

and they killed people that didn’t have guns.

that’s right kitten, they did.

but why?

because they were scared, my darling.

but you said they didn’t have guns?

they didn’t, but they wanted to change what the government didn’t want to change.

the conversation could have gone on forever, but sebastian was busy looking at the pillar of shame, which has had a recent facelift. the brasses have been cleaned and the etching "PILLAR OF SHAME" is indented with red paint. it is very dramatic.

sebastian pointed out something i had never seen before. one of the tortured figures is carrying a child. we do not see the dying child’s face, we just see the adult pressing it to him, the adult’s mouth open and eyes unseeing.

mummy, why would the government kill a baby?

oh i don’t think they did, i think the artist was just exaggerating like when you say you need to do a wee RIGHT NOW and really you dont.

but that’s a baby. look. he looked very scared and worried.

i see honey. but really, no babies died those days in tiannamen square.

technically not, i suppose.

government killing children is one thing, but what about parents protecting their child? would i ever take my child to march for a cause to make a statement, knowing that children are more likely to get their picture in the paper, knowing that it might result in physical harm? would anyone? is the greater good bigger than that small life? my tiny tunnel vision says no.

i took sebastian’s picture by the pillar of shame, beside a small bouquet of flowers that had been thrown down beside the monument. after a moment of silence, we turned, walked through the thron of students who were sebastian;s age when the massacre in beijing occurred, and we walked home.