Pass me the past, please

Today I spent a very pleasurable morning with Denby preparing for Gail's wedding.  A hot cup of tea, chatting, (putting the world to rights), all while doing the easy grunt work while Denby attached strips of fabric to pew boughs and turned them into something elegant. (And I did turn an eye when she re-did the bows that I had attached but not too well!) The day before a wedding.

The changing of a life.

My afternoon was allright. I had an appointment with the IN coordinator at KS. More Sebastian, you wonder?

Actually Carys.

I wasn't overly surprised to hear that she was being assessed. She is so quiet she doesn't ask for help and easily slips through the system. When I am helping in some classrooms, there are kids who grab my sleeve and ask for my help in the project they are doing and don't let go until they've solved it. Carys isn't that kid. Carys is the kid who in kindy often wouldn't eat snack because she was too shy to ask the teacher for help in opening the lid of her tupperware container.

"And the lid wasn't even too tough," the teacher would apologise. "If it looked difficult I would have helped her!"

Hmm.

Carys and lids, lids and Carys.

One of Carys' biggest challenges is her handwriting. (There is a lack of spatial awareness as well, I should add!). She doesn't really understand the concept of finger spaces, and that all words need to be on the line.

But her pencil grasp is bad and she often complains of her fingers and hands hurting.

Could this be due to her prematurity?

Dr Google and The Fantastic Physician who together with God saved Carys' life on many occasions confirmed after the appointment that this was very likely the case. The teacher and Fantastic Physician recommended OT. 

I had been talking to Denby this morning about GUILT. Guilt that came coursing through me this afternoon when I realised Carys was still reeling from being a preemie. Maybe. Possibly.

It will take me a while, but I know I can let this go. I don't have to relive this. 

God prepares us for things. Talking today with Denby made me realise just how much I had held on to, just how unhealthy my guilt was, and how easy the triplet's prematurity would have been to be my excuse or opiate for my life. I was remembering that conversation when I walked in to see the IN fellow.

Tomorrow I am going to a wedding. The changing of a life.

The changing of my life. I'm not going to blame myself for Carys' OT issues. I will help her, but not out of guilt. Out of love.

After all, the greatest of these, is love. 

 

 

…..A bride without a head! …..A wolf without a foot!

magnificent charles is leaving tonight for vegas.

upon learning that he was heading off on a longish business trip, as per usual, the man did ask if i wanted to accompany him. a quick check on trip advisor confirmed that the hotel he is staying at is quite divine. hmm…the stakes were raised.

and, there was a seat sale.

GETTING TEMPTING!

however, i said no.

why? or pourquoi as some of you bilingual folk might query?

1) GAIL gets married this friday. i am not missing this!

2) i am starting to decorate the church with denby tomorrow.

3) i can't be away for 10 days, not right now!

4) i have other holidays planned

5) i have a half marathon hike planned for friday next. (don't get excited, nothing overly serious).

 

so, there we be. i did however, google "live shows in vegas" and encourage young charles to see CHER in concert. he was quite rude in his response.i don't understand this. moonstruck is one of our favourite movies!

another friend suggested barry manilow. to this, charles was even ruder, "he's had so much plastic surgery i would sit there all night not recognising him and wondering why the opening act was so long." so he is not a fanilow! (i don't know if i knew this when i married him).

other people suggested cirque du soleil. probably not. we have seen them a couple of times. when i was working with the hong kong standard and CDS was opening up SALTIMBANCO in hk, i interviewed Guy Laliberte, founder of CDS and a few of the performers. Interestingly, they were all very shy, despite their flamboyant "on-spotlight" personalities.

so what is MC going to do in vegas? christmas just ended…i can't give him a shopping list THAT long to keep him busy!

to help in the forgiveness of my non-blogging i suggested he contact JoeInVegas. THAT suggestion was not met with approval. "No. He will think I'm the reason you didn't blog."

I think will buy him Celine Dion tickets. I mean, he bought me front seat tickets all those years ago…shouldn't we even the score! Aint love grand?

I started with one of my fave MOONSTRUCK quotes, so i will end with another…

---

Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh, God, that's too bad.

 

See you in 10 days, MC.

 

 

new year, new tess?

Possibly?

In years past I have always been eager to send the kids back to school. One of the bad parts about having a blog is the permanent aspect to your words. I remember writing that Small World Christian Kindergarten wasn't such a Christian institution given that they started one week later than the ESF primary school.

Typically I am eager to shovel the offspring through the school gates, turn and head home for a nice cup of tea (see, some things haven't changed!)

However, this Christmas holiday was so great, that I admit I was very reluctant to call an end to the hols. Allow me to explain. Charles was working offsite….he took the triplets to sailing one morning and it was just Sebastian and I in the house. We went for a run, then came home. We knew we had about four more hours until the rest of the family joined us. It was relatively quiet.

Predictably, my brown eyed, golden-brown haired boy asked, "what should we do now?) and I said, "well Seb, why don't you read a book?" and he looked at me and said, "Which book?" I suggested his new Diary of a Wimpy Kid and he raced to his room, picked it up and started reading. And then laughing.

For the next few hours we sat on two couches, each with a book, each occasionally turning pages, each occasionally getting up for a drink, wee or a bite to eat. (I was reading ROOM). We didn't exchange more than a sentence, "May I have one too?" "Could you take this?" "You okay?" "Love you." "Please put on socks, I am getting cold" but it was excellent quality time.

(Selfishly, I recognise this because we were doing something I love doing.)

But the whole holiday just seemed to be filled with happy, slow times. Our schedule wasn't crammed, but it was good. We stayed at home, we caught up with friends. We played, did puzzles, read, watched movies together, read the Bible, spent time together. And I was sad to see them don their uniforms Monday morning and head back to school.

Four more weeks until Chinese New Year.

 

 

welcome to my new year’s resolution

hi joe, rachel, kathleen, anna, steve, rori, syl, 3mum and various others who have taken the time to email and and see if all is well.

it is. thank you.

my 2010 was a wonderful year also.

the blogging died down because i began thinking that my life wasn't very interesting any more. i mean, not like the old days, when i am certain you were all riveted to know if i managed to find that delicate balance between getting carys to take another few milllilitres of milk before she would vomit up the aforementioned effort as well as all the other ml's previous to the slurp that broke the reflux's hack.

we seem to be in a groove.

i have to say, it is good. i give 40 a lot of credit, as well as God, friends, and me for having the wisdom to listen to both of them!

we had a brilliant Christmas. a LOT of my friends go to clubs for their Christmas Day lunch, and one year I would like to try it. can you imagine, NO dishes, and you just go, eat, laze around while the kids play for a few hours, and then go to someone's house and celebrate? i think it sounds divine. but this year, we had Christmas again at terri's, and it was as close to perfect as it gets.

1) we had friends – and history.

some new friends came to the dinner, and dale said to them, "welcome to our family Christmas." that nearly brought tears to my eyes, because since 2002, these people have been Christmas Day for me.

2) we had great food

cheese platters, cheese cake, ham, two vegetables and four desserts. What does that say to you? we do Christmas right!

3) we didn't leave a lot for the hostess to clear up.

that's a rule. and the men washed too! we didn't even have to ask. i went out to the balcony where they were and said, "any one of you want to wash up?" and they said, "um, okay…." and as Charles later joked, "none of us are fans of celibacy….what else were we going to say?" they did a pretty good job except for their habit (did you think we wouldn't notice?) of leaving pans to "soak for the moment".

4) we finished a 1000 piece puzzle.

how north american are we???

5) the kids put on a show for us! thank goodness songs have a time limit.

6) the kids contributed to the HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS cake.

i have been making this cake for years, and for the first few years, only Christopher and andrew would contribute. maybe tre. they're the oldest. and then, this year, all the kids had something to say. they wanted to share the present that Jesus had given them this year.

so, maybe it's my turn to share again as well.it may not be glam, but it's my life, they're my dim sum, the little pieces of my heart.

hope i can stick to the resolution, and thank you for sticking with me.

 

‘Bye Honey!

Sebastian was most upset at not going to Canada this summer because it meant he could not go to sleepaway camp.

Last year he was all pumped and primed for a sleepaway camp, which was cancelled due to evacuations.

This year, he was ready and so so excited.

When my parents started suggesting we needed a) to have a plan b for the summer and b) talking about how the weather forecasts indicated there would be more fires in the Okanagan region it became apparent that since I can't drive, I needed to examine some home truths about the situation. My parents were pretty adamant about the situation, and what their friends were telling them, and so we decided to stay in Hong Kong. We couldn't risk another expensive summer like last year.

Sebastian was "okay" with the decision, but he was also sad about not going to sleepover camp.

And then my friend Bec learned of a sleepaway camp, just a three day two night "sports and adventure camp" and she signed the boys up. It meant Sebastian couldn't do the Optimist Two sailing week, but we did NOT care! We were thrilled! 

Sunday I was awakened at 6.15am by my firstborn who inquired as to whether we should start packing NOW? or NOW? I suggested LATER. Sunday night, we were busy packing important items like a polo shirt Seb could wear golfing, toothbrush and toothpaste, and I optimistically packed a towel even though it wasn't on the list. ("We're not going to have a shower, this is great!") And I called the camp and asked if I could pack snacks for them. They said that was fine, and so Charles bought chippies, gummies, granola bars and other treats. I labelled them, "eat this monday" "Eat this tuesday" and packed it quietly away. I wrote three letters.

And Monday, seb was awake at 5.45am asking me when Bec would come and pick him up. Before Charles left for work we prayed for Seb, and Charles reminded me to take pictures.

And ahem, I would have, but I couldn't, because Bec came to the door, and thankfully, I barely had time to hug my boy, when he was comparing what he had brought to what Alex had brought, and then were pressing the button to the lift and I was giving him a cuddle, and a kiss, and telling him I would pick him up and then he was gone. VOOM.

Seb was so happy I didn't think much about him during the day, and when I did, it was with a smile.

And last night, the phone rang at 8.35pm.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mummy"

"Sebbie! I love you so much! How are you? Are you having fun?"

Absolutely all the wrong things to say. I should have just shut up and let him talk. However, it was okay, because…

"I am having a fun time mummy. I had three glasses of Fanta (hence the chattiness??) and chips and pizza for dinner!"

Is it fun?

Yes, we are having a lot of fun.

Did you find my treats?

Yes, and I wanted to ask, may I eat them?

Yes, they are for you and your friends! You need to share them!

Oh thank you mummy! We will eat them tomorrow! That's great!

Are you in a tent with Alex?

Yes. Right now everyone is playing basketball or tug of war. They need me.

We miss you very much Sebastian!

(Carys and Jasper had to talk and add how much Seb was missed).

But where is Sela, mummy?

She is asleep honey!

Well why are JJ and Carys awake?

Because they wanted to tell you how much they miss you.

Well where is daddy?

He is still at work, honey, but he loves you so much and he will be so happy you called! I love you Sebbie!

Yes, and mum,

(I can hear other kids in the background and I figure Seb is a bit shy).

Sebbie….you know when we are at Kennedy and I want to let you know I love you but I don't say it so I pull my ear?

Mummy, I am pulling my ear right now.

I know you love me Sebbie. And you probably need to get back to your friends now. If you call me tomorrow that is great, but if you don't, that is okay too. Don't worry, just have fun.

Okay, Mummy, I need to play tug-of war now. I love you, see you Wednesday!

Bye bye Sebbie

Bye bye Mummy

And he was gone, just like he should have been.

And as my little boy came down from his Fanta High and lay in his tent looking at the clear skies through the tent window, I sat and smiled and realised I was the one who was over the moon.

I went cupping yesterday.

As many of you long time readers know I am a long term user and advocate of acupuncture and credit Dr Ma for the fact that I have triplets instead of a singleton. (God had a little bit to do with it as well). Chinese Traditional Medicine definitely has its place.

Ursula has been cupping for a while and it has made a big difference to her knees. I am very respectful of my knees, I try not to run downhill ever, and I never run around a track more than three times, but still…I'm 40. Must be nice to knees. I ran half a marathon the other day and the next day ran 10 with no problem. I like being able to do that and I want to continue doing that.

So I went to cupping and had a good experience. It started with a massage that was not meant to be enjoyable and really wasn't. The lady was particularly interested in my shoulders (right in particular) and kept going back to them. At one point I had to ask her to stop. The massage was only to the waist, and then my shirt came off, and it was time for the cupping to commence.

When the cups were placed on my skin there was a tightness as the seal was made, but no pain. They stayed on for maybe 10 minutes.

I felt really tired afterwards.

Both Ursula and I had an urgent desire to eat afterwards. It was amazing. I bought some blueberries at a stall and ate them unwashed (sorry mum).

The bruises were quite red immediately.

Today, the next morning, I feel really good.

I am going to go again. This is a maintenance thing. Besides my knees, my liver always needs work, I have "a few" neurological issues, and there is nothing wrong with keeping those meridians clean.

The kids asked if I had chicken pox when they saw my back!

I will let you know if the bruises become less vivid over time.

blessings

I went to bed last night feeling very happy. Which is odd given that I had just spent the night at the "See you in one year, Simons!" party. Yes, Mark, Weng, James and Mary Mae are headed to New Jersey for one year. And then they will return. Instead of being devastated that they're leaving, I'm seeing it as a sabbatical. (Left: Weng and I at my birthday party in March.)

Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.

There were many ways we could have spent their last night in Hong Kong….enjoying the glam views of Hong Kong in one of the fab restaurants, up at the Peak, out and about….but instead, we spent it together, our little 122 community. On the playground, the kids together, ripsticking and biking, zooming in for food, the adults coming together, chatting in groups. Laughing. Taking pictures. And naturally, eating and drinking.

Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.

Eventually, it was 8pm, and instead of closing shop, we decided to extend the night…the kids went to mine for movie night, and the adults went to Jennifer and Brian's for wine and nibbles. We cleaned up the playground, the kids got really excited, and raced off, to quickly bathe then head up to our place. James and Mary Mae included. If this was our last night for a while…we were going to make it a good one.

Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.

We chatted about everything that 122 folks do.. the rent, development, new neighbours, schools, old neighbours. Rehashed old stories. Made new plans. Talked about funerals. And then at one point, Tinja, who moved out but is hopefully moving back to 122 soon, had to leave. And then Nate, Tara and Andrew's youngest, came downstairs to Jennifer and Brian's. Possibly he had heard how good the wine and food was. Or the music – Supertramp, Blondie, Springsteen. In the damp night his fingers moved around his plush toy, his lashes droop, and he fell asleep. And the shadows deepened.

Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.

Susan, who is thisclose to Weng, left soon after, with her husband Paul (aka: Karaoke Man). And shortly afterwards, I knew it was time for me to go too. I had a long day Tuesday, Seb was still feeling off, and it was time to go. And I would be seeing them again. A quick private word with Weng, hugs, and then into the lift, to my flat. From one room of friendship and love to another. (Left: Weng and Susan at my birthday party in March.)

Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself."

Around 13 years ago, Magnificent and I were
receiving phone calls and the occasional email from loved ones dotted across
Canada.

Their concern? Our welfare. The Handover of HK to the
Chinese was a few days away…did we know what we were letting ourselves in for?
They told us of news stories about tanks coming down the roads, soldiers,
painting, and other disconcerting tales. Opened their doors to us. (frugal blake offered token rent).

We replied that Hong Kong’s greatest concern was the rain,
that the streets were too narrow for tanks, and that besides banks running out
of change (people were hoarding coins that had the queen’s head on them)
everything was business as usual during the day and party during the night as
HK prepared for the Handover. The media was blowing it all out of proportion.

And indeed, the Handover went very smoothly, without a whiff
of ominous communism to come, passports being revoked, etc. It was a great time
to be in HK, actually.

The other day an email was sent from Hong Kong to Toronto.
The title?

“The Media may POSSIBLY be blowing this out of proportion
but….”

And inside a plea that everyone let Charles and me know they
were okay, since we were hearing stories that G20 protesters were really
getting carried away. My friend LD’s sister had to sleep in her office on
University, our neighbour Mark had to close three of his restaurants, the
National Post reported that Sick Kids and Toronto General Hospital were closed,
policemen were sautering (I think I just spelt sautéing, but you know what I
mean) drainholes because the protesters (the 400 plus they hadn’t arrested)
were escaping through the sewers. That parts of the GoTrain and Subway had been
closed.

My geographical knowledge of Toronto is sketchy at best…I
know the four locations where you can buy SPANX and that of the two MAC counters
in Eaton Centre, only the one downstairs is in business, the one upstairs is
constantly unmanned. I could find you my sister in law’s office. If shown three
homes, I could tell you which ones my other sister in law has done a
professional de-cluttering of. But, my father in law moved last summer. I don’t
know where he lives anymore. I knew he was on his boat…. What if he had been
trying to get home? Or my sisters in law? Or brothers in law? Or nieces and
nephew?

As my heading indicated, I knew the media was likely
exaggerating, a dead giveaway was that they constantly showed the picture of
the burning police car. If there was more news, they would have shown that.
However, they didn’t, which made me feel slightly better.

So I sent the email, and God Bless Blackberry, within 15
minutes I heard from my sister in law, assuring me that they were all okay.

Later on, she wrote a longer email, and explained that
hospitals don’t close down (National Post didn’t tell me that – and it turns out four police cars were torched!!) Made me
feel much better.

Toronto and Hong Kong are big cities, but when news of possible
trauma hits, even though the likelihood of it affecting a loved one is remote,
it just feels good to reach out and make contact, just in case. Kind of like
Hercules. Every time he touched the earth, he got 10 times stronger than he was
before. Being far away, I need that earth. That pull. When you love, you need that knowledge that
everyone is good in their world, no matter how little I belong to it.

My dreams, my joseph, my jasper

One hundred years ago (approximately when I last blogged),
or 12 years ago, Charles and I went out for a drink prior to seeing Joseph
and the Technicolour Dreamcoat.

He was acting very oddly that night. First, he dragged me
up to Gaddi’s, at the top of the Peninsula Hotel, surveyed the room (where he
had been several times already) and declared that he wanted somewhere with more
ambience.

Ambience? What has more ambience than a place where the
men’s urinals are clear and face the floor to ceiling window of the hotel?

Our next stop was the Pen’s next door neighbour, the
Sheraton Hong Kong. We went up to their top floor wine bar, and my magnificent
looked around, again approved of the view but felt that the ambience wasn’t
quite what he was hoping for.

Next stop, across the street to the then The Regent. Not the
top floor, to the lounge, where the piano player was tinkling out lovely
sounds, not singing, and the view was delightful. We sat down, ordered drinks,
and Charles got up, vanished, and a few minutes after he sat down, the piano
player began playing, “Send in the Clowns”, a Frank Sinatra song I particularly
like.

And then Charles got to one knee and proposed. (With
hindsight, I now know why people tend to get married before they turn 40…it’s
that whole getting up and down from that knee position!) People clapped, advice
was given, the ring was admired (as it is to this day), and off to Joseph we
went. Click here for details and pictures of that day.

Joseph. The happiest musical for one of the happiest nights
of my life.

Fast forward 11 years later, and the year six students
performed Joseph for their end of year production. It was really fantastic.

Jasper and the girls were enchanted. For two days straight
we watched the musical on you tube, in 14 little clips. We watched other school
productions, and agreed that Kennedy was just as good as any American High
School!

And then on Saturday I braved the teaming rain, (all right,
I was downtown with a girls lunch anyway) and sloshed away to HMV and there it
was…the movie DVD version. Not, unfortunately starring Jason Donovan, but Donny
Osmond. It’s okay, and the kids are thrilled. Jasper in particular. He has
figured out how to use my IPOD and stands by the docking station, listening to
the Joseph songs, fast forwarding to his favourites. And replaying.

It is very bizarre, and entertaining to be back in the
future like this. Seeing my kids love something I loved, something I didn’t
even have to pressure/manipulate with sweeties them to enjoy. Joseph is their
choice, and they love it! Jasper was devastated the other night when he had two
friends sleep over. He suggested that they watch Joseph, and the two boys
wanted to watch Transformers instead. It was hilarious.

Joseph is incredibly special to me. That proposal, that
night, that happy music. I will remember that night always, I hope. And to now
see my children trying to get the lines and music right, and loving it as well,
is a wonderful thing. Seeing Jasper walking around with a dishcloth around his
waist, a la Donny Osmond, is very cute, and yes, he has already asked for a
coat of many colours for Christmas. I replied that the coat was for the
favourite child, and he said, “I know”.

Love it, love them.

Fender bender in Hong Kong!

Read about ICM Kids Camp at Charles' blog, which includes a story of how our car was rear-ended tonight in Hong Kong. Charles writes, "How ICM Kids Camp saved Seb & JJ from injury, possibly worse…"