timing is everything…yesterday sebastian told me that when he grows up, he wants to marry me. oedipus aside, it was a wonderful thing to hear. firstly that he wants to and secondly that he wants to. little man.
at 35 pounds, sebastian blake caldwell is much better looking than the 6.7 pound laddie he was on 30 november 2001. and louder. then, he was a very solemn tiny boy whose facial features were crammed into what appeared to be one square inch in the lower level of his bald head.
there was a teeny period of time where sebastian was not my favourite person in the house. breastfeeding was not fun. choose your word: cracked, bleeding, engorged, peeling…it all happened within the confines of my bra. and it was all sebastian’s fault. i remember avoiding charles as he would bring the wailing bundle from room to room, searching for me. our place isn’t huge, so i would open closet doors a fraction, and hide in the open space. and always display wide eyed surprise when a flustered charles and waahhhhing sebastian found me. oh, he was crying? sorry, didn’t hear him. hold my breath, count to ten, put child to breast, bite lip and clench fist.
thankfully those days ended, and before you know it, sebastian was an interesting little bald person.
the first time he saw a dalmation dog sebastian thought it was a cow, and ran up to it and said, MOO! MOO! he’s never been afraid of animals, although he is plenty skeptical of people.
we learned so much together, sebastian and i. when to hold on, when to let go. when to help, when to stay silent. the importance of disciplining your child in private, acceptance…his tabla rasa and my learning curve were massive.
his second day of playschool we were informed sebastian had taken off all his clothes and jumped into the full bathtub while the rest of the class was putting water into the fishtank.
his vocabulary was always endearing: she-shell, wappy, yum!, lemlems (m&m’s), jofeth (joseph), underpants were "bob’s", so many more than i am so scared i might forget.
toilet training was easy, and as quickly as he determined he hated vegetables, he liked them again.
his relationship with special blanket is based on adoration. special blanket is reserved for warm clean times, or when sebastian needs comforting. on occasion, special blanket shows up when we play school, or when sebastian is watching television.
he has yet to latch on a special shirt, book, toy..his intense adoration is focused on people. most particularly his father. one morning he realised what the rest of us have known for years, his father is an amazing person. daddy! my daddy! sebastian behaves differently when his father is around, subtley he acts up, he definitely toes the line when i am around. we have had amazing days together, but when mc and i are together, sebastian makes it very clear where his loyalties lie. what’s why the proposal, and times when seb is clearly thrilled to see ME ME ME are memorable.
he is aloof. as a young child several people asked me if he was autistic. he wasnt, but he is reserved. but once you are loved, you are loved for life.
his memory is spectacular. he can place buildings, names, meals (we ate this at annie’s house!) and other quirky little issues.
he comes into the master bedroom, and his fingers are apparently taken over my david helfgott. flight of the bumblebee…he’s touching everything on the bedside table, what’s this mummy, twisting off caps, pulling at tops, dipping fingers into creams, putting chapstick on chin and then on the sheets….oops as something drops, what’s this mummy? he touches everything. and puts them back awkwardly, and cries bitterly when they break. and he wipes tears out of his eyes with his left hand, thumb and forefinger in separate eyes, pulling away the tears. occasionally he uses a fist, but usually tears are removed with thumb and forefinger wiping the tears up to the bridge of the nose and then by rubbing the digits together.
he is shorter than average, and given his hearing impairments and dad like habits, is not the most social kitten in the bunch. but despite his affection for his much loved teacher michelle, sebastian is no goody goody. he can ignore instructors with the best of them, is learning to make little comebacks (like at gymnatics today where he asked the teacher, "if i do it will you give me candy?") and follow his own drummer. you have to respect independence and it will be our job to help him find a balance between being a team player and pursuing independent interests.
sebastian has the extreme advantage of being the first born, and has opened a new dimension to our world. his perspective, "this is a fun family activity", his ability to make us remember what is important, "i have the best family" and the firm cuddles (even when i have to ask for them) reinforce that we are doing good jobs as his parents. watching him run and explore tells me i am teaching him to embrace his world. even if he doesn’t stop the first time i ask him too, i know he knows there are boundaries. (at left as Santa in his school Christmas pageant)
seb has appointed himself as a deputy responsible for ensuring the triplets follow every single rule laid down for them. "jayjay! if you do not stop cwying i will come back here and give you a time out!"
sela!use your inside voice! it is your choice!
come on cawis..finish dinner or no yogurt!
some siblings of multiples tend to feel lost in the fray, but sebastian has never been an attention seeker and quite likes his position of older, wiser and the one who is granted more privileges brother. i turned away modelling opportunities for sebastian because i knew although he photographs beautifully, that he would NOT enjoy it. i don’t regret that decision at all.
he is so much like magnificent, that i often make mistakes. i was a kid that was either racing around with friends, or reading a book alone. seb is not a social dude, unless for a very few people. and this tough, until i remember that I AM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE! he loves riding the bus with me, walking to the shops, going to the wetmarket…he likes me. he loves me. sally field aside, seriously. i may be second fiddle to dad, but he really loves me.
i have my sebastian song, and he now sings it with me.
sebastian, you mean the world to me
sebastian, i love you completely
you are one of the loves of my life
one day i will choose you a wife
you will love her very much
but come home to me for breakfast
dinner and lunch
sebastian i think you are divine
i am so glad you are mine
(dah dum duh!)
Reader interactions
7 Replies to “sebbie sebbie so so!!”
Sebbie Sebbie So So, I was sorting thru some things yesterday ( yes I was throwing away “junk”) and I stumbled across the sign that Seb was wearing across his little brown cord jacket at the ripe age of almost 4 months . The sign that says “Auntie Pammie ” means more to me and always will. He is my super special little “Stinky” and he has a reserved spot in my heart.
Lots of love to you all
Auntie Pammie xoxo
Ohhhh Sebbie Sebbie So So – how well I remember us all calling you that special name 🙂 You are the best older brother, Seb, and Mo loves you to bits. Keep on being you, little man.
Much love, M xox
heh, my little man told me the same thing. that was until his little sister was born.
That was a beautiful post. I love hearing about your children. Thanks for sharing.
Very beautiful how you write about your child. Thanks for sharing.
Tess, I just have to speak out about this and request that you do this, writing about each child’s personality, at least once a year. Save them. I would give anything to have my mother’s words about me as a child, especially now that she has passed away. I am so amazed by your insights and abilities to see into your children’s minds and hearts. They will be astounded by it, too, when they are old enough to know how special this is.
i LOVE your love for your children. Not just because they are your children, but because of who they are. i love your desire to really KNOW them. Little Sebastian sounds adorable.