thanks for the emails…i am fine. health seems to be okay.

some statistics to make you think i am a math and analytical type person:

new crawlers = 3 (or four…sebastian now seems to prefer to crawl around as well…how is that for peer pressure??)

scratches = 1…olivia gave carys a long overdue scratch on the hand yesterday

teeth = 2…. sela has her two bottom teeth.

blood drawing incidents = 2 … all wee three members have drawn blood on their face recently. all resulting from crawling.

"HARD TO SAY BUT PROBABLY OPTIMISTIC" looking scans = 1….yes indeed. sela had her ultrasound yesterday and it looks good. you can definitely see the excess fluid on the brain, but never ONCE did anyone mention the word SHUNT. they were surprised that it hasn’t reabsorbed itself, but all in all, it was good. they did say the next time the water level looks high in the fontanel area, to bring her in. so i will. 

grans in attendance = -1 . my mum is gone now, it was great to have her here. she was so helpful and loving. she didn’t get to do much as i was lying in bed most of my days, but never complained once. she read. held, changed, chased, cuddled and loved babies. knitted. did everything the HOW TO BE A GRAN WHEN YOU DON"T LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO BE ONE handbook suggested. and she did it well. thank you mum.

last night sela decided that the gel in her head was causing her grief. we didn’t give her a bath after her ultrasound, i figured i had wiped off most of the gel. but no, at 1am she is in her bed, scratching her head and whining. i picked her up and she continued scratching. took her into my room, and laid her down beside me. i started massaging her scalp. she sighed and pulled her thumb toward her and popped it in. little black lashes fluttered, then faltered. asleep.

scratchscratchscratch…scratchscratch…scratch…………scratch………………..scratch

victory. she was asleep. back to bed for sela ballerina.

i picked her up and back to her room we headed. the movement woke her up a little and she was awake-ish when i put her down. the hall light was on and i could see her eyes trying to focus on mine, her smile ready and a coo ready to gurgle out of her once she made contact. she removed her thumb and used her hand to brace herself and push her body forwards.

i know someone is out there. please identify yourself, i have a smile for you. we can play.

no, we can’t.

she was motionless for a second, debating her options. she chose "Cute". started a conversation and moved to the side of the cot i was standing at. she was breathing against my hand, like i was a frozen windowpane, and if she would thaw my hand, she would thaw my heart and i would impuslively decide a midnight play was in order.

not gonna happen.

they’re tiring, but i do love these one on one sessions. they make me laugh and see what characters the babies are developing and becoming.

after all, they’re one year old.